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Tuesday, November 30, 2004 :::

My Earliest Memory

I've been trying to think of my earliest memory. I remember my grampa making a joke about checking my pants for ants because apparently I was being hyperactive one day. But he died when I was four. I also remember people asking me how old I was just so they could point and laugh at me when I replied "I'm Free" because I couldn't pronounce "three" properly. But this photo probably represents my earliest memory:

I, of course, am the cute little toe-head in the front. I remember this day vividly, because we were at my uncle Mike's house and that little jacket I was wearing was extremely uncomfortable and my mom kept telling me to stop fidgeting and put my hands in my pockets. The mark at the bottom of the photo says August 1977, so I was barely two years old. I can't think of anything that I can confirm occurred earlier than when I was two years old.

So I can remember when I was two, but today I wore a sweater that I forgot I also wore yesterday, in front of the same people. And that really pisses me off.

::: posted by dan at 6:33 PM :: [ link ] :: (20) comments Social Bookmark Button



Sorry for the string of creepy posts, but this is the most terrifying news article I've read in a long time. Just in case you're making a list, I don't want an appearance-altering illness for Christmas. Click on the link to see more pictures:

Mystery surrounds Yushchenko ailment
What ails Viktor Yushchenko?
As Ukraine's popular pro-Western opposition leader claimed victory Tuesday in hotly contested presidential elections, the mystery surrounding an appearance-altering illness that twice prompted him to check into a Vienna hospital persisted.

::: posted by dan at 6:26 PM :: [ link ] :: (7) comments Social Bookmark Button



I tried explaining to my friend Geckler what a goiter was the other day, but I had a little difficulty, which eventually led to the least appealing Google image search I've ever performed, and so I thought I would share just a few of the results with you as an early Christmas present, enjoy:

::: posted by dan at 5:54 PM :: [ link ] :: (11) comments Social Bookmark Button


Saturday, November 27, 2004 :::

Tis the season...

...for crappy music. I love Xmas music. I don't care how cheesy it is. This is my 2004 Xmas mix CD cover and playlist. A couple of the songs aren't exactly Xmas songs, but I'm trying to reinvent them as such:

1. Here We Come A-Caroling by The Ray Conniff Singers
2. Spotlight on Xmas by Rufus Wainwright
3. Holy + Ivy by Iberis
4. I’ve Got Your Love To Keep Me Warm by Dean Martin
5. A Xmas Song by The Ravonettes
6. Step Into Xmas by Elton John
7. Little Jack Frost, Get Lost by Bing Crosby
8. Winter Wonderland by Peggy Lee
9. Xmas Medly by The Ray Conniff Singers
10. You’re So Cool by Hans Zimmer
11. Xmas Wrapping by The Waitresses
12. Jingle Bells by Lisa Loeb
13. I’d Like You For Xmas by Julie London
14. Noel Nouvelet by Iberis
15. Coventry Carol by Suzanne Vega
16. Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas by Sinatra + Crosby
17. Joy To The World by The Ray Conniff Singers
18. Just Like Xmas by Low
19. The Way Old Friends Do by ABBA
20. Buy You A Ring by Huffamoose
21. Soulful Xmas by James Brown

::: posted by dan at 9:07 PM :: [ link ] :: (17) comments Social Bookmark Button


Offensive Scrabble

K-Mack and I decorated the house for Xmas yesterday. It's kind of a yearly tradition that involves obnoxiously loud xmas music, three fake trees of various sizes, and way too many bottles of wine. It's an all-day event, after which we were too pooped to go out and decided to stay home and play a game while we admired our xmas decorations. For some reason I was determined to play Scrabble, but the only way I could talk her into it was to suggest it be Offensive Scrabble.

We decided the rules would be the same as regular Scrabble, except if your word was dirty, suggestive, offensive, or downright appalling, you got double points. Shortly after beginning we abandoned all rules that applied to proper spelling. Soon after that, we decided the board size didn't suit our needs and allowed expansion, if necessary. Eventually, even rationality went out the window. It didn't really even need to make sense as long as it seemed at least a little bit naughty.

Parental Advisory Warning: This is a pic of game two - the least offensive of all the games we played. But don't look at it if you want to keep your innocent opinions of me. Not that it's all that shocking.

::: posted by dan at 8:52 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments Social Bookmark Button


Thursday, November 25, 2004 :::

My Thanksgiving

As I mentioned before, my family's newish Thanksgiving tradition is to eat lunch/dinner at Barnacle Bills and then go bowling at the alley which is conveniently attached to the restaurant. I know, it all sounds terribly classy and almost unbearably posh, and I can assure you that it totally is. I ordered a make-shift bluecheese burger, as it was not on the menu. My parents each enjoyed the all-you-can-eat turkey platter and relished in the fact that they were old enough to be considered Seniors, for the discount.

As with any tradition, there are things we have come to expect out of our meal at Barnacle Bills. For instance: my parents will order their mini-bottles of Sutter Home White Zin with dinner; the neighborhood Avon lady will show up with her family and we'll all have a chat; Madam Von Bighair will solemnly enter the room and act like nobody is noticing, etc.

Here is a camera-phone pic of Madam Von Bighair. I'm sure she's a nice lady, and I didn't want to be cruel and run up to snap her picture, so this image doesn't really do her crown of ratty follicles justice, but I am mostly including if for the sake of my brother and sister, who could not attend this year, but will certainly appreciate that she was again in attendance.

Then it was off to bowling, where I had my own little Thanksgiving Day miracle: I bowled my best game ever.

That's right! 144, bitches!

::: posted by dan at 8:28 PM :: [ link ] :: (10) comments Social Bookmark Button


Wednesday, November 24, 2004 :::

Thanksgiving Wishes

Have a happy Thanksgiving weekend. Celebrate the intrepid bravery of our Pilgrim ancestors and give thanks for your plentitude by over-indulging to the point of engorgement, like only a proud American could.


I will be bowling with my parents, as that has become the family tradition in the last couple years. No turkey or stuffing or football for dan, and that's something I'm truly thankful for. I think Thanksgiving dinner is barfy and football is coma-inducing. But I'll eat almost anything for a four-day weekend.

::: posted by dan at 1:13 PM :: [ link ] :: (11) comments Social Bookmark Button


Ridiculously common names can be handy.

One of the great things about having such a common name like Dan Miller is that if I'm ever on the run from the law and I need to kill someone and usurp their identity, I should be able to do it pretty easily without even having to deal with changing names. For example, I could be a...

Copfighting Lawyer
Boyband Member
Motivational Speaker
Professor of Aviation
Techno DJ
Symbolic Interactionist

Honestly, the options are pretty much limitless. Obviously, I'll probably go for Techno DJ or Boyband Member, but I'm not dismissing that Symbolic Interactionist business either. The sad thing is that all of us Dan Millers seem to be universally ugly. Can't escape that. Oh well.

::: posted by dan at 12:20 AM :: [ link ] :: (20) comments Social Bookmark Button


Tuesday, November 23, 2004 :::


When K-Mack and I were in the ninth grade, we found a toll-free phone number listed in the back of Premier Movie magazine about "Free Body Culture" that encouraged you to call for more information about the freedom of nudity. Of course we called the number and added pretty much everyone we knew to their mailing list. My mom, for example, got nudist brochures for years. She would write them letters, begging them to remove her from their database of interested parties, but the mailings just kept on coming. I was looking through my old stuff and I found one of the brochures they sent.

This is the cover. What's kinda creepy is that the brochure is filled with videos you can buy for $65 of these people playing frisbee and having pool parties, which leads me to believe this "culture" was more about exhibitionism than it was naturalism, but whatever.

And here are a couple tame pictures of from inside the brochure. You want to know two things that should never go together? Nudes and a pummel horse:

This also looks ill-advised:

Anyway, I just dailed the number to see if they are still in bidness, but it seems as if they are now defunct, so I'll have to find new ways to embarrass my mother. Which isn't really that challenging anyway.

::: posted by dan at 11:18 PM :: [ link ] :: (13) comments Social Bookmark Button


Rated M for Mature

You know that JFK Assassination game that everyone has been bitching about? The one where you play the role of Oswald and try to take out the president from the book depository? People say it's exploitive and offensive. The game manufacturers say its purpose is to disprove conspiracy theories surrounding JFK's murder. Here is the money shot from the video game, so that you can decide for yourself:


Is the chunk of brain absolutely necessary?

::: posted by dan at 9:51 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments Social Bookmark Button


Bloggy blog blog. Blog?

Tools for blog addicts:

Obsessively search for other blogs that link to yours at Technorati.

Publish your blog in book form, at Blogbinders.

Pour over your site stats at Sitemeter.

Buy yourself a self-promotional T-shirt, like this:

::: posted by dan at 4:53 PM :: [ link ] :: (4) comments Social Bookmark Button


Monday, November 22, 2004 :::


I was fortunate enough to see Sufjan Stevens in concert this evening at the 400 Bar (home of the most disgusting urinals this side of the bus station) and I thought he was awesome. He's one of my new favorites, and B*Dubb accompanied me this time. I'm pretty sure that B*Dubb didn't appreciate the music, but I appreciate the hell out of him going because I didn't have to stand there by myself like at the last five concerts I've attended. Everyone hates my taste in music. Anyway, here is yet another bad camera phone pic of a concert for you to (not) enjoy:

I'm trying to convince you to go listen to his music. Honestly, he's great. They even played him on The O.C. the other day, if you're the type of person who needs popular validation before you can try something out for yourself.

::: posted by dan at 1:34 AM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments Social Bookmark Button


Saturday, November 20, 2004 :::

Some things are best left forgotten.

I am the last of four children. Apparently, by the time I was born my parents were bored with babies or at the very least uninspired by photographic documentation, so there are maybe 15-20 pictures of me from when I was newborn up until I was 18 years old. I often try to make them feel bad about the lack of pictures and really rub in the guilt, but I realized today that I should be grateful, because had they been even remotely interested in remembering my childhood, then there might have been more pictures like this one floating around:

I'm on the far left. The fact that I'm dressed up as a clown is bad enough. Then I had to go all in-character dramatic and be a "sad" clown. Add in the candy necklace, the tight-fitting Hawaii T-shirt tucked into shorts, and the Garbage Pail Kid sticker (which I believe was entitled "Thin Lizzy"), and you get a picture of the biggest 11-year-old nerd who ever existed. So I guess my parents weren't being cruel in their photographic indifference toward me. They were actually being quite merciful in trying to avoid any evidence of how lame I was.

For the record, my brother is four years older than I am, and that's him kneeling down with the little girls, so he's clearly the bigger nerd. And the other older kid is Cory Hendricks, who because of this post, will finally make the ranks on Google. You're welcome, Cory.

And why did we own so many wigs?

::: posted by dan at 10:58 AM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button


Thursday, November 18, 2004 :::

The Shopping Olympics

I wouldn't go anywhere near a Best Buy or a Target on the day after Thanksgiving. I just don't have the chops. Just thinking about the mad frenzy stampede of crazy-eyed shoppers who will do anything short of murder to get a good deal gives me a nervous tummy. But I have to admit, the stores really bring out the big guns on that day. I'm still not going anywhere near those places, but check out these rumored sale specials:

Best Buy Day After Thanksgiving Specials
Target Day After Thanksgiving Specials

Good luck to anyone willing to risk death for a discount. And if you're thinking of trying it, let me know. I'll give you a list.

::: posted by dan at 1:46 PM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button


Wednesday, November 17, 2004 :::

Consider yourself informed.

I hate stuff like this because even though I know that it's usually total bunk, I still can't stop myself from believing it at least a little bit. The internet is evil when it comes to giving me new things to obsess about.

Click here to see even more horrifying statistics about things you unknowingly ingest/touch/drink on a regular basis. I wonder if anyone has indirectly touched my penis today?

::: posted by dan at 4:06 PM :: [ link ] :: (18) comments Social Bookmark Button


Tuesday, November 16, 2004 :::

Monster Thickburger

Gross. I can't even bring myself to order a full Whopper at Burger King (I opt for the Jr.). K-Mack ordered a "Giant-sized" Roast Beef sandwich from Arby's the other day, and I thought that was excessive. But this takes the cake:

The "Monster Thickburger" will cost about $5.49, Hardee's said. But chowing down on the 1,420-calorie burger, which contains 107 grams of fat, will cost around $7 with fries and a soda. St. Louis-based Hardee's said its new burger boasts two 1/3-pound slabs of Angus beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of American cheese and some mayonnaise -- all on a buttered, toasted, sesame seed bun. Read more.

::: posted by dan at 9:28 AM :: [ link ] :: (39) comments Social Bookmark Button


Huntin' Season

I don't get why people like to hunt. I'm not sure how I feel about the actual deer or anything, especially after I read this article in the CityPages about how deer are basically the midwest's version of New York sewer rats, because they overpopulate, spread disease, and basically destroy their own natural habitats. But I just don't see the appeal of it. From what I understand, you mostly just stand as still as possible in the middle of the freezing cold woods and wait for hours and hours on end. I can't think of anything less enjoyable. Is shooting a gun really that fun?

I asked my hunter friends, and some say they hunt for the food (yeah, right), and some say it's for the sport (although I don't see how sitting still in a tree for eight hours until a deer happens to walk in front of you very sportsmanly). I guess at least as long as they use all the carcass parts and let nothing go to waste then I can't have a problem with it. And I mean ALL of the parts:


Ding dong.

::: posted by dan at 8:37 AM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button


Monday, November 15, 2004 :::

Dreaming is for pansies.

I've recently discovered that it's socially unacceptable for one man to tell another man that they had a dream about them. Apparently, it's like an unwritten rule. Even if the dream is not even remotely sexual in nature, you will still get a bad reaction.

I bumped into someone that I hadn't seen in a while, which triggered a lost memory of a dream that I had about him the very night before, coincidentally enough. My initial reaction, before considering the consequences, was to blurt out "Hey, I dreamed about you last night." His reaction was quick and unmistakable: sheer terror accompanied by a palpable uncomfortable silence. I immediately recognized that I should have kept quiet about it, but at this point it was too late. I tried to smooth over the awkwardness by explaining the dream in detail, so that he could rest assured that it was not lascivious in nature. The dream was something about paparazzi and a party in New York and he was there along with that freakish goliath Red Sonja woman from the Surreal Life 2, but I left out the part that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Just kidding. But even the description of the relatively innocent dream didn't appear to calm his nerves. It seems that the mere fact he was in my subconscious at all was disturbing enough.

But I don't understand what the big deal is. I dream about lots of people, every night, usually doing stupid things that make no logical sense. I assume that everyone dreams about random people. It doesn't necessarily indicate a latent sexual attraction or even a weird fixation. Honestly, I've dreamt about Ray Liotta before, and you can't get less appealing than Ray Liotta. Plus, who does that guy think he is? Don't flatter yourself, buddy. Anyway, people are stupid. I would be more than flattered to find out I was floating around in anyone's subconscious.

::: posted by dan at 4:15 PM :: [ link ] :: (14) comments Social Bookmark Button


Sunday, November 14, 2004 :::

New Junk

I updated my junk.

::: posted by dan at 11:03 PM :: [ link ] :: (7) comments Social Bookmark Button


Free MP3s!

Everyone likes free music! There's no such thing as a bad free MP3... oh wait...

You can download their top hits from The Whitehouse's website, and read about their meteoric rise to stardom. At least he's got a promising career to fall back on now that he's been canned.

::: posted by dan at 9:47 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments Social Bookmark Button


Pepsi Spice

I thought this was a joke when I saw the commercial, because "spicy" was a word that I never thought would be used in association with a soft drink. Even Dr. Pepper, which actually does taste a little spicy, has always avoided saying as such:

From the very first gifts of frankincense and myrrh to the spice cake we enjoy today, spices and the holidays have always gone together. Food and drink are central to the holiday cheer, making Pepsi Holiday Spice the perfect and fun complement to the celebrations.

It's better than the annual Jones Soda holiday pack, which this year has yummy flavors like Mashed Potato and Gravy and Green Bean Casserole, but at least they are intentionally trying to gross you out.

::: posted by dan at 11:37 AM :: [ link ] :: (8) comments Social Bookmark Button


Friday, November 12, 2004 :::

Shocking Discoveries

It's amazing what some people will fall for on the internet. Sista C came across this urban legend that I'd never seen before. I think it's hysterical that enough people believed it to require an actual debunking:

Dead Mermaid Found in the Philippines

I think it would be funny to show this picture to your kids and tell them it's Ariel from The Little Mermaid and that every time they throw a tantrum, or forget to make their bed, or refuse to eat their dinner that god kills a mermaid.

Man, I would make an awesome parent.

::: posted by dan at 11:29 AM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments Social Bookmark Button


Wednesday, November 10, 2004 :::

Before there was blogging...

...I would doodle in a notebook. And as you can see, my entries were just as profound as they are today. This one is from early 2001:

Oh, and there's this one, too, from around the same time, which is particularily creepy because the same exact thing just happened to me a couple months ago, only this time the goth kid got some extra goopy tuna thing:

::: posted by dan at 10:42 PM :: [ link ] :: (23) comments Social Bookmark Button


Sex and Halo! Sex and Halo!

I waited in line for Cure tickets once. I should have painted my chest to show my dedication to the band, I guess. I can only hope that someone out there has pictures of Kim Cattrall's reaction to the shirtless nerd frenzy. From MSNBC:

Last night was the night that the "Halo 2" hype reached its climax. Across the country over 7,000 retailers nationwide opened their doors at midnight and New York City's Time Square hosted the national release [of the X-Box video game]... By 10 p.m. the crowd was so large even the crusty city dwellers were starting to take notice.

At one surreal moment, a pickup truck loaded with cameras and lighting equipment and pulling a bicycle pedi-cab slowly moved down Broadway parallel to the line. In the pedi-cab, Kim Cattrall — Samantha of "Sex in the City" fame — whose face bore the shock one would expect of a sexy celeb running head-on into a thousand or so unshaven 25-year-old males. She quickly exited the pedi-cab into a nearby town car.

One young man, his bare chest bearing the number "2" painted in blue paint, charged towards the pedi-cab. "Sex and Halo! Sex and Halo!" he chanted and once again the crowd took up the chant.

"'Halo has changed my life," Robert Caraballo, the bare-chested blue man admitted later. "I'm just so lost in the excitement here." Caraballo added that he had just been laid off earlier that day and called it the best day of his life because he would have more time to play "Halo 2."

::: posted by dan at 5:08 PM :: [ link ] :: (3) comments Social Bookmark Button


Trivia and stuff.

The Google Image Quiz gives you a set of images secretly culled from the Google image search, then gives you three tries to guess which word typed into the Google image search will return those images. It's addictive. It gives points depending on how many guesses it takes you, and as a "prize" for doing well it will give you random pithy quotes from various philosophers and pundits. The last quote I got was from some awful Waldrip woman who claims that "A laugh is a smile that bursts." That finally got me to stop playing, long enough to go and puke.

Also, here are some interesting facts for word trivia nerds that might come in handy if you are Cliff Claven (discovered by The Presurfer).

::: posted by dan at 4:24 PM :: [ link ] :: (1) comments Social Bookmark Button


Protect Your Banana

The Presurfer has discovered this amazing invention. Invest while you still can.

Banana Guard

::: posted by dan at 4:12 PM :: [ link ] :: (4) comments Social Bookmark Button


Tuesday, November 09, 2004 :::

Residual Oompa

I'm filthy. And apparently I need to take a closer look in the mirror before leaving for work in the morning. Right before bedtime this evening I went to wash my face and noticed my T-shirt collar was stained with leftover Loompa:

I swear I really did wash all my clothes after the Halloween party. I guess the costume makeup stained my collar somehow, probably when I pulled my t-shirt over my head upon removal. Anyway, I was in a hurry this morning and didn't notice the mess, even though it looks like I got some serious Cheeto fingers and wiped them on my collar. I wouldn't even know how to explain the green smudges to people who don't know the backstory. I wonder what people thought of me all day.

That reminds me of the time I was in college and ate some Cheetos one night and wiped my Cheeto fingers on my socks in lieu of a napkin. I know, it's really gross. I hadn't yet fully developed into my current state of obsessive compulsive cleanliness. Anyway, the Cheeto sock got stuck in my pant-leg the next day and I unwittingly brought it to class with me, and it fell out when we were in a group huddle for some Lit class. Nobody noticed where it had come from, but there sure were lots of gasps when people noticed a gross old Cheeto sock lying in the middle of our discussion circle. I can't believe I just confessed that story. I was a different dan back then. I consider myself absolved.

::: posted by dan at 1:11 AM :: [ link ] :: (23) comments Social Bookmark Button


Monday, November 08, 2004 :::

Hideous beast.

I wouldn't vote for it. Still too Bushy.


Just try to look away. You can't.

Oh, and guess which states pay the most federal tax dollars compared to which states receive the most federal tax dollars. Go ahead. Guess.

::: posted by dan at 11:41 PM :: [ link ] :: (8) comments Social Bookmark Button


I love this story.

This story is a few days old, but this is the first time I've seen an accompanying photograph. Daniel in the Lion's Den, indeed. From MSNBC:

Man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten
46-year-old leaps into den at Taipei Zoo, calls beasts to Christianity

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A man leaped into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away. “Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Why do lions need saving anyway? Perhaps they were threatening the sanctity of marriage.

::: posted by dan at 9:12 AM :: [ link ] :: (13) comments Social Bookmark Button


Saturday, November 06, 2004 :::

Nerd Humor

Mint in package!


::: posted by dan at 1:28 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments Social Bookmark Button


Music to Break a Lease

My gramma turned 91 last week. At her birthday party, someone found her stash of old records, which I proceeded to pillage. One odd find was Led Zepplin's Houses of the Holy. I can't imagine my gramma and Jimmy Page understanding each other, so its inclusion in her LP collection is inexplicable. I also found this:

Music To Break A Lease. Included in the track listing are foot-stomping numbers like You Are My Sunshine, Oh You Beautiful Doll, Let Me Call You Sweetheart, and The Beer Barrel Polka. Apprently it didn't take much more than a whisper to break a lease in the fifties. Back at my old apartment, the loud bitches upstairs wouldn't think twice about aerobicizing in clogs. But I do remember K-Mack getting instuctions from our downstairs neighbor about the proper method for effective tip-toeing. "Toe to heel, toe to heel, toe to heel." So maybe things haven't changed much after all.

::: posted by dan at 11:58 AM :: [ link ] :: (11) comments Social Bookmark Button


Sohn-dra Lehr-kay

This is Sondre Lerche (pronounced Sohn-dra Lehr-kay). He is a guitar prodigy musician from Norway who plays light, airy pop songs that your mom might like. His mantra at last night's concert was "Are you ready to soft rock?!" But don't let that scare you. He's actually quite amazing. And all of his CDs kick ass, so you should start listening to him as soon as possible so that next time he comes to Minneapolis I won't have to go see him by myself again.

After the show, I went to buy the opening band's EP at the merchandise table. They were a band called Golden Republic and they were pretty good and it was only five bucks so I thought I would give it a shot. But as I waited to make my purchase, Sondre himself walked up and stood right in front of me, smiling. I got all star-struck and stuttered "Great show, man," which is the lamest possible thing you could say to a musician, and since when do I say "man"? Gross. Anyway, with him standing there staring at me, I felt kind of pressured to buy one of his $15 T-shirts. So I did. I'm pissed off that I allowed myself to get all weak-kneed and now I own yet another concert T-shirt, which incidently is skin-tight to the point where you can see my nipples through it. Oh well, I crumble in the face of celebrity.

I wish I was still young enough to wear concert T-shirts. Some of my favorite highschool memories involve me and Stacy and Cure concert t-shirts that were worn so often they disintegrated off our bodies.

::: posted by dan at 11:14 AM :: [ link ] :: (7) comments Social Bookmark Button


Thursday, November 04, 2004 :::

Double-O Diddy

P Diddy wants to be James Bond. At first, I thought this was a terrible idea. Just imagine the inevitable sampled theme song and the inappropriately excessive bling-bling laser earrings. But then I realized that he couldn't possibly screw it up any worse than Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry and Madonna already did. I recently tried to sit through Die Another Day, but I couldn't. I died right then and there.

Speaking of imposters, this guy wants to be James Bond, too... at your next party. He's a lookalike James Bond for hire. By the way, professional lookalikes are awesome. Tapley Entertainment, Inc. has many to choose from for your next get-together, including real party-starters like Bill Gates and Michael Douglas, plus the worst Marlon Brando and Oprah Winfrey I have ever seen.

And continuing on with this random stream of consciousness type of post, did you know that Oprah Winfrey's real name is actually Orpah? For real.

::: posted by dan at 4:17 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments Social Bookmark Button


Wednesday, November 03, 2004 :::

Lucy likes it rough.

I found this image especially fitting in regards to my recent posting about the late Charles $chulz and the source of his wealth. Seems as if perhaps he's got other secret sources of income that we didn't know about, of the underground variety:

I never would have pegged Lucy as a submissive. Honestly, I don't know the context of this image. I just found it online.

::: posted by dan at 11:31 PM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments Social Bookmark Button


Silver Linings

I always look on the bright side of things. Ask anyone. I'm pretty well-known as an optimist. So here goes:

1. This particular Bush can never run again.

2. Now we'll be able to watch him crash and burn over the next four years, reserving our rights to shout "I told you so!" at the top of our lungs. That's always fun.

3. I've always kind of had the impression that I was smarter than the majority of the country. Now I have data to back it up.

Also, here is a picture of Bush's infamous "One Finger Victory Salute", just to remind you that Bush is probably taking his victory with the proper humility and decorum.

::: posted by dan at 1:04 PM :: [ link ] :: (37) comments Social Bookmark Button


Tuesday, November 02, 2004 :::

Election Day Distraction

Just something to get your mind off of the election for one damn minute:

Apes are pervs.

::: posted by dan at 6:08 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments Social Bookmark Button


Kerry is Pro Canary

MommyT's first grader got this pamphlet at school to teach them about the candidates. Apparently, first graders aren't so issue-driven when it comes to politics. It's all about character. And pets. If only it were that easy:

Click for larger.

Click for larger.

Oh wait, it is that easy. Good vs. Evil. Hmmmmm, I choose... good. Sorry, that was a cheap shot.

::: posted by dan at 5:59 PM :: [ link ] :: (1) comments Social Bookmark Button


I'm feeling optimistic today.

::: posted by dan at 11:46 AM :: [ link ] :: (6) comments Social Bookmark Button


The Planetdan Visitor Costume Gallery

Some planetdan vistors were kind enough to send me their Halloween costume pics. I've started putting them up in a gallery for all to see. There are only a few so far, so hopefully I will get more. Ahem.

Until then, this is my favorite so far:

Napoleon Dynamite, Deb and Pedro. Vote for Pedro.

Awesome. Wish I'd thought of it.

::: posted by dan at 1:09 AM :: [ link ] :: (4) comments Social Bookmark Button


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trek geek scott
second toughest
and far away
chez lynne
the big lug
little voice

the superficial
boing boing
golden fiddle
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder



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