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Saturday, November 20, 2004 :::

Some things are best left forgotten.

I am the last of four children. Apparently, by the time I was born my parents were bored with babies or at the very least uninspired by photographic documentation, so there are maybe 15-20 pictures of me from when I was newborn up until I was 18 years old. I often try to make them feel bad about the lack of pictures and really rub in the guilt, but I realized today that I should be grateful, because had they been even remotely interested in remembering my childhood, then there might have been more pictures like this one floating around:

I'm on the far left. The fact that I'm dressed up as a clown is bad enough. Then I had to go all in-character dramatic and be a "sad" clown. Add in the candy necklace, the tight-fitting Hawaii T-shirt tucked into shorts, and the Garbage Pail Kid sticker (which I believe was entitled "Thin Lizzy"), and you get a picture of the biggest 11-year-old nerd who ever existed. So I guess my parents weren't being cruel in their photographic indifference toward me. They were actually being quite merciful in trying to avoid any evidence of how lame I was.

For the record, my brother is four years older than I am, and that's him kneeling down with the little girls, so he's clearly the bigger nerd. And the other older kid is Cory Hendricks, who because of this post, will finally make the ranks on Google. You're welcome, Cory.

And why did we own so many wigs?

::: posted by dan at 10:58 AM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button

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15 previous comments:

NICE! Don't feel bad, Dan, I think I had the same outfit (minus the wig and sad clown makeup). I certainly had that Garbage Pail Kid mother made me throw mine away b/c she thought they were tacky. C'mon...I was 8! I used to steal quarters from her and buy them for 25 cents at the gas station. The same gas station that let my buy cigarettes for my dad. The '80s ruled.

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 6:12 PM  

But if you had had a pair of rainbow suspenders, you could be a fabulous Jesus in "Godspell!" (just trying to look on the bright side... but then, oh, you'd have to be crucified on a chain link fence.... sorry)

Victoria, random chick from liberal elitist Massachusetts

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:10 PM  

Reason #38 why you can never be President of the United States.

By Blogger Joe Nobody, at 3:23 AM  

oh look at the sad clown! I had a huge stack of garbage pail stickers, and one day they were just gone. Either I lost them or my aunt threw them out b/c they were inappropriate. I wish I still had them - though I think they were re-issued.

By Blogger Biglug, at 1:06 PM  

I was about to say something cleverly biting, but based on the picture floating around of me in the sixth grade in full make up cheering on the twins with my homer hanky and sweatshirt I will pass on any kind of judgement.

By Blogger Stacy, at 1:35 PM  

come on... whats so not cute about that? :)
i think this picture is really adorable.

By Blogger Roba, at 2:35 PM  

Just a quick question - why were ya'll only in costume from the neck up?
gina t.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:52 PM  

Sorry Dan. When I first saw the picture and hadn't read your post I thought you were a girl. The candy necklace threw me off a did the full wig.

The T-shirt and shorts give me the feeling this was probebly not taken around Halloween. So perhaps the more important question is why the hell were you dressed up in said wigs?

By Blogger lynne, at 7:16 PM  

Ooooh. Was this around the time when mom was in charge of the clowns for the church's annual "Fun Fair"? Yeah I remember having to do that bit myself. Is that Linzee and Jaymee? Ahhhhh the good ole' days.

By Blogger Colleen, at 7:21 PM  

Mimes are scary !

especially when they do that "pushing an invisible
object" thing... It gives me chicken skin just thinking
about it.

By Blogger John W, at 8:02 AM  

Yes indeed this was the Church fun fair. We were in makeup but not in costume yet. I must say, despite the geeky appearance that I made a good clown.

Dan, I may be a geek but I will never be more lame than you in this picture. Oh, and thanks for including me in the embarrassment of your youth.

By Blogger Trekgeekscott, at 9:52 AM  

This actually wasn't before the fun fair. It was totally unrelated. The little girls were over and mom was trying to keep them entertained with the clown mak-up and we joined in. I remember the day specifically. I just don't remember the candy necklace or why I felt like that shirt needed to be tucked in.

By Blogger dan, at 1:11 PM  

I love that your mom was and still is so crafty. My mom would have never done this for us. Although she once tie-dyed t-shirts to resemble the ponchos worn in Return of the Jedi and gave me a a large belt with a giant gold buckle so I could be Han Solo for the entire summer of 1983.

I also love that your mom never once made me dress up in clown make-up or a glitter encrusted mime mask as repayment for all the soda, tacos and little debbies I ate. Thanks Barb!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:36 PM  

Where was I? I wonder if you even considered inviting me to your face painting party. I invited you to my craft night, two glue guns, one for me and one for you. Now I see how you are. Jerk.

By Blogger Kristina, at 1:52 PM  

Yeah, Barb is a saint.

I remember craft night at K-Mack's. It was the birth of the Holiday bookmark.

By Blogger dan, at 3:46 PM  

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