Thursday, November 04, 2004 :::
P Diddy wants to be James Bond. At first, I thought this was a terrible idea. Just imagine the inevitable sampled theme song and the inappropriately excessive bling-bling laser earrings. But then I realized that he couldn't possibly screw it up any worse than Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry and Madonna already did. I recently tried to sit through Die Another Day, but I couldn't. I died right then and there.
Speaking of imposters, this guy wants to be James Bond, too... at your next party. He's a lookalike James Bond for hire. By the way, professional lookalikes are awesome. Tapley Entertainment, Inc. has many to choose from for your next get-together, including real party-starters like Bill Gates and Michael Douglas, plus the worst Marlon Brando and Oprah Winfrey I have ever seen.
And continuing on with this random stream of consciousness type of post, did you know that Oprah Winfrey's real name is actually Orpah? For real.
::: posted by dan at 4:17 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments
9 previous comments:
P. Diddy?! Gawd, no!
I have no objection to a black James Bond, but he has to be able to at least pretend to be British in a semi-believable way.
btw...I am so addicted to this blog.
By pixelala, at 7:48 PM
That settles it. Next year I'm having *Don Knotts* at my Birthday party. Or maybe *Hulk Hogan*...
By lynne, at 10:06 PM
Orpah? So I suppose her studio is really hapro.I wonder who said..."hey orpah...switch the R and the P around and you have magic.
By Stacy, at 10:13 PM
Ummm....sorry "Marlon" is having a stroke and "Orpah" has a family of squirrels in her hair...And who would order these people to be at their event?? Craziness...
By Kiddo78, at 10:41 PM
Yes, an unfortunate misspelling gave us the Oprah we know and love today. Don't let it happen to you! And PDiddy as Bond, James Bond? Oh, I don't think so. Colin Farrel already has that role lined up to ruin, thank you very much.
By Christian, at 7:54 AM
I would like to see Bond's car all tripped out then, with 24s and hydraulic shocks. "Hey Pussy Galore, get in the car, biatch." Also, would PDiddy as Bond now mean that Bond would always have a huge entourage around him?
By H, at 12:06 PM
I hate P Diddy. Of course he wants to be Jamez Bond, don't you see? He is trying to remake everything in his own image so that one day all we will know is The P. Kind of like how in Demolition Man the only restaurant that is in the future is Taco Bell. Except our future won't be as spicy, just kind of bland - and shiny.
By , at 12:18 PM
You can't really be stealth with an entourage following you everytime your on a secret mission for the state.
By hot babe, at 12:28 PM
I think that Anna Nicole was the one that was on that MTV show called Real Life. She was supposedly going to quit impersonating because she was tired of gaining and losing weight to look like Anna (she gained like 60 pounds at one point to look like her!) and she missed her home life.
Also - not that it really matters - but is that Cher a man or a woman?
By , at 12:44 PM
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