Friday, June 24, 2005 :::
Warning, ginormous animated gif.
Cruise kills oprah.
ps. Katie Holmes was brainwashed! By Xenu!
::: posted by dan at 3:12 PM :: [ link ] :: (25) comments
25 previous comments:
that was awesome.
love your blog.
your taste in movies in music, however...
c'mon, the machinist was not THAT bad. i'd give it 3 stars, especially with most of the crap that comes out.
also, nails was a five star, elliot smith has sucked after his first album, and...wait, no, that's it.
but, your blog is one of my favorites.
By Editor, at 4:29 PM
Oh man... hahaha...
Okay, seriously, I've been in love with Tom Cruise for ages... but I've REALLY lost my taste for him. See I have this thing about crazy people in weird cult-type religions started by sci-fi writters, who claim to know more about medical conditions than the medical community.
Silly me, I know - He's an ACTOR of course he knows what he's talking about and isn't insane at all.
And Katie Holmes... at least they did a good job of hiding the labotomy scar. Or maybe they just built a "stepford wives-esque" Kaitie.
By , at 5:17 PM
I've never been a huge fan of T.C. Some of his flicks are O.K. but as of late, I think he's a complete ass. He was just an ass after dissing Brooke regarding her depression (I'd like to see him pull himself out of a complete hormonal depression with no treatment). But after his interview with Lauer...he moved up to complete ass status.
Poor Katie, destined to be ex number 3.
By , at 6:29 PM
I think there's something seriously wrong with him--i.e., chemically unbalanced-- and no one has the cojones or power to help him. I'm alternately riveted and repulsed--but mostly riveted-- by the freak show he has become.
By , at 6:38 PM
I vote for riveted.
ps. Elliott Smith always ruled.
By dan, at 7:35 PM
I am so glad my new girlfriend Scarlette Johanssen escaped his clutches. It would have made me really sad to see her next to him on the red carpet being all crazy.
By brent, at 9:50 AM
i am SO stealing this for my blog
By Bewareoftheblog, at 4:57 PM
that was hilarious!
you don't know me, but (does it worry you when a message starts off like that? hee hee)... one of my buds directed me to your site... he found it during an esoteric search for something like Captain Crunch, or bisexual bison or something... he said there was a guy in one of the pics who looked JUST like a guy we knew many many moons ago, who was from MN. just wondering if it's him... no i'm not a stalker or anything, just a curious ax murderer... lol just kidding... i'm not all that curious... oops... i mean, well, i don't even have an ax license! it's in your pics for kickball, season 1, game 2... img_2194.jpg
got a $10 bet on this one, so i hope you can answer me or direct me to his blog/site so i can ask myself!
p.s. i looked through some of your other photos while i was here... wow you guys sure look like you have a lot of fun! ever think of starring in your own show? you could call it "buds" or "homies" or "friends" or sumthin ;o)
By , at 6:39 PM
Yeah, for as long as I've known Dan he has always dreamed of starting his own cable access show in hopes of it becoming mainstream. (think Tom Green, but American). If I remember correctly, the premise of the show was to spotlight Dan's unique sense of humour by interviewing people on the street of Minneapolis and then as they leave he (or the field reporter) would say something witty and sarcastic.
The title of the show was going to be something like Generation Dan or Extreme Dan, I can't remember - but he wanted to also do movie reviews so he could get into premiers for free. Man, whatever happened to our dreams?
By brent, at 10:26 PM
Generation Dan? You can come up with something better than that, B.
fifi: Guy #2194's name is Ryan and I seriously doubt he has a website or a blog. He's gotta be pushing 30 and he most likely grew up in Lakeville, if that helps.
By dan, at 10:55 PM
Thanks for answering! well, the face is right, the age is about right... but the name is wrong... darn. the guy we know is Bryan... hmmmm only one letter off... if you talk to Ryan could you ask him if he might consider a slight name change? I'll split the $10 with him from the bet... it's gotta be worth $5 to just add one letter! Tho it would be in Canadian bucks so maybe not... anyway i can be reached at email@example.com
ok ok... that was pretty close.... tho he's a little cuter than Bryan was (and bryan was a cutie patootie)... i thought maybe his cuteness increased even more with age hehehe
p.s. to Brent... isn't Tom Green an American? Are you trying to tell me he's one of us? (Canadian??) Wow... we get blamed for everything these days! I always thought they imported Tom Green from one of our southern provinces (the US) hehehe
By , at 11:37 PM
Sorry Fifi, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this - Tom Green is Canadian. (but I think he's from Ontario, so that might explain it...) I wish I could report otherwise, really I do.
By , at 1:26 AM
jake, jake, jake,
You certainly know how to hurt a gal... I'm in Ontario (Toronto).
Oh well, at least we've still got Jim Carrey... no wait... you've got him now. Apparently we didn't want him.
By , at 6:09 AM
By something better, do you mean something like "Planet Dan?" Cause that's brill. I said I didn't remember what it was going to be called. It wasn't my dream.
By brent, at 8:47 AM
Well Fifi, I'm in Saskatchewan... (so I'm probably just jealous that I don't live somewhere as cool as Ontario.)
I supose we could collectively blame him on the French... but with a name like Fifi I may be running out of provinces to blame him on.
We could blame him on the government... or how about good ol' Jean, he's taking a lot of heat lately?
I mean really, we could blame him on the States - they're the ones who put him on TV.
By , at 9:26 AM
oops, forgot to put my name there...
By , at 9:27 AM
lol jake! wow, in grade 3 i won the spelling bee for spelling your province correctly... thank you!
Go ahead and blame the french! fifi is short for Fiona (no, i'm not the princess, tho some mornings I'm a little green).
Actually I like Quebec. They have a really nice casino in Hull, where I'm going in a few weeks.
Hmmm maybe we SHOULD blame the US as it appears that's where duct tape was invented... in MN no less. Was it fate and duct tape that brought me to this MN-guy-owned-blog?
By , at 10:06 AM
Katie needs an intervention. Maybe Madonna and the Khabalists are available!! I'll bring the red string and "holy" water (for $10 a bottle).
By Elle, at 11:54 AM
hahaha... yeah, Saskatchewan is rediculously hard to spell and (outside of Canada) pronounce, but then I suppose I could live in Umingmaktok, Kitikmeot in Nunavut. (no, I didn't just make that up.)
And as far as Tom Green is concerned, we'll blame the French and the US... I hate having to pick.
By , at 12:44 PM
oh sure you didn't make that up... hey i'm impressed you could type "Umingmaktok, Kitikmeot in Nunavut"... i couldn't... i had to cut and paste it hehe
saskatchewan vaguely reminds me of something we used to do on a friday night at the bar after work(many years ago). For some reason, we started with the east coast provinces... with every shooter we would yell out the province name. by the time we got to saskatchewan... well, it sounded like Umingmaktok. Hey, maybe that's where Umingmaktok got it's name!
By , at 4:06 PM
Actually I think Umingamaktok is Inuktitut for "Holy shit, it's cold!" or possibly "North of the Frozen North".
By , at 7:36 PM
lol you're probably right jake... i wouldnt mind being there now though. it's damn hot here!
the name origin wouldnt surprise me though... like the way canada (kanata) got it's name when cartier asked an Iroquois what they called it and they said Kanata (meaning the village) lol... could be worse tho. Suggested names were Tuponia and Borealia. Somehow I wouldnt feel the same about chilling out with a nice cold Molson's Tuponian at the end of a hard day's work.
By , at 3:57 PM
Hahaha.... I wish I was Borealian. Wait... I take that back... then I'd be living in Saskatchewan Borealia - like it's not hard enough to spell already.
By , at 6:57 PM
lol Jake... ya that would be a mouthful for sure! There is a town near Toronto called Aurora... so I guess that would have been Aurora, Borealia... well whaddya know!
Wasn't Tuponia one of (the symbol formerly known as Prince)'s ladies?
ps Happy Canada Day!
By , at 11:33 AM
Aroura Borealia, that's awesome!
Prince's Ladies? Now by "ladies", do you actually mean "men"?
And a Happy Canada Day to you also.
By , at 3:33 PM
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