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Monday, June 20, 2005 :::


This weekend I found myself on the roof of a three-story building in uptown Minneapolis at three in the morning with some people with whom I wasn't acquainted. I was a wee bit tipsy and there was a quick round of introductions during which this horrible exchange happened:

Him: Hi, I'm Tham
Me: Tham?

It was dark, so I had a hard time judging his ethnicity to figure out if I heard him right or not.

Him: Tham.
Me: Tham?

Awkward silence all around.

Him: THAM. I have a listhp.
Me: Oh... Sam.

Had it not been pitch black outside, he would've noticed my face was beet red. I felt so bad. I haven't stopped thinking about it all weekend. I'm sure he's probably used to having that conversation all the time and that it doesn't embarrass him anymore. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. He was a really nice guy. Anyway, I hope he doesn't hate me for being an ass.

::: posted by dan at 12:43 PM :: [ link ] :: (25) comments Social Bookmark Button

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25 previous comments:

Is it wrong that I just laughed so hard at that? Read this post out loud and you'll see what I mean.

By Blogger MommyT, at 1:19 PM  

Nah. Though he's probably annoyed at you for being an ath.

By Blogger Dennis!, at 1:45 PM  

That is the type of thing I replay in my head over and over days after it happens.I get really quiet and sad and feel sick for about a week...I totally get it.He probably didin't think anyth....oh God you called him tham...that is embarrassing...but super funny

By Blogger Stacy, at 8:14 PM  

Oh No! This made me laugh and cringe at the same time (which made for some strange facial contortions).
That either happens a lot...or never...

By Blogger lynne, at 10:03 PM  

wow, irony bites hard when your name is Sam and you have a lisp. whatever, he was probably wasted too.

PS whenever i see the 2nd hand smoke bus shelter bride, i think of you. i hope you feel the warm and fuzzy and not the krepi icky.

By Anonymous diana, at 10:34 PM  

True story to make you feel better...

I was working in a store and a kid comes in. He was wearing a large windbreaker and one of the sleaves was empty. He picks up the empty sleave and was just fiddling with it. I figured that he, like most kids in over sized jackets, had pulled one of his arms inside. So, being little miss loves kids I say "OH! Looks like your missing your arm there!."

My district manager got the irate phone call from the parents the next day. Yeah. Kid was an amputee.

Never before or after in my life have I felt so rotten. Of course now it's a good story to pull out while drunk.

By Blogger elcynic, at 2:54 AM  

Another true story to take your mind off of Tham...

My biological Mother is a world class smart ass. She is also a receptionist for a manufacturing company and sits behind a sliding glass window. The guy comes into her building, tripping on the door step.

Quick as a flash she says, "First day with your new leg?"

And sure enough, he raises his pant leg, showing off his prosthetic and says, "Nah, it's kinda old."


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:32 AM  

I think that Tham should change his name. There's got to be a middle name he can use.

Also, a good friend of mine's mother has a pretty pronounced lisp, and it is hard not to talk about her, without using the lisp. Maybe I just do that cause I am mean.

By Anonymous duane, at 8:40 AM  

If he is old enough to drink, he is old enough to get some speech therapy and stop talking like Cindy Brady. I don't feel sorry for him one bit. What a freek.


PS I thought you were at Herkimer "all night?" And they don't have a rooftop terrace there. Unless you were lying to me and you weren't at Herkimer... Because I distinctly remember you telling me you weren't going to be there that long when I called at 10 pm and now it turns out you were there "until 3 in the morning." NIce. I hope you had fun while I sat at home by myself, jerk.

By Blogger brent, at 9:37 AM  

It wasn't a "rooftop terrace," it was an actual rooftop that I had to use a rope to climb up on. And it was across the street from Herkimer. And I already told you all of this, remember?

By Blogger dan, at 10:00 AM  

Those missing limb stories make me feel much better.

By Blogger dan, at 10:00 AM  

You never told me this story. I would remember a story involving you having to scale a wall using a rope. I heard a story about a drunk girl who made no sense and you almost having to sleep over someplace, but instead you choose to drive Geckler's ride to your place, which you regretted the next day when you had to pick him up. That is the story I was told, but who knows if it is true, cause you are a liar.

By Blogger brent, at 10:10 AM  

"If he is old enough to drink, he is old enough to get some speech therapy and stop talking like Cindy Brady. I don't feel sorry for him one bit. What a freek."

Glad to see you have both a thorough understanding of speech therapy and a master level grasp on spelling. If speech therapy was as easy as you make it sound I suppose I wouldn't have a stutter. Losing a speech impediment isn't like losing weight, it's as much as a handicap as anything else. Try going through your day and preplanning everything you're going to say because you're worried people like you will make fun of you.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:25 AM  

It's amazing how insensitive people can be. Sam didn't choose to have the lisp and maybe he tried therapy and it didn't work.

Don't feel too bad Dan; you didn't make fun of him.

By Blogger Emily, at 11:39 AM  

I am sure Tham is just fine...there are worse things than a lisp...Wow Dan,you have motorcycling,republican, studderers really have to watch what you say on your blog for fear of offending everyone...

By Blogger Stacy, at 1:09 PM  

Annonymous Chuck, I am going to phrase this as best I can without sounding like a jerk... you should stop worrying so much about what other people think of you and just live your life. Then you'll be less stressed, which will in turn prevent you from stuttering because that is obviously the reason why you stutter. There, your therapy is done and I just saved you a ton of money.


By Blogger brent, at 1:16 PM  

Actually I don't think there was anything Dan did in the situation that was "wrong" or offensive. Speech impediments aren't something people are used to dealing with so it's pretty easy to feel awkward when dealing with someone that has one.

however, what is offensive is making blanket statements that people with speech problems basically need to "try harder". I'm not trying to turn this into another motorcycle fiasco I just take issue with the post I mentioned earlier.

By the way Dan, great site.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:17 PM  

Thanks Chuck. And just for the record, B* speaks for no one here but himself. I disassociate myself from his comments completely. I should put a disclaimer on my site like they do on DVD commentary tracks.

By Blogger dan, at 2:07 PM  


I am not worried at all about what people think of me or my speech. For the record, I haven't been in speech therapy for more than a decade. However, when I was it was kind of like Michael Palin's character in "A Fish Called Wanda". Now you could hardly tell I have a stutter but I have to work on it constantly. Speech therapy at least in my case is pretty much like relearning how to use a limb. People take speaking forgranted in the same way they do walking.

"Then you'll be less stressed, which will in turn prevent you from stuttering because that is obviously the reason why you stutter. There, your therapy is done and I just saved you a ton of money."

Speech impediments are rarely as simple as "being stressed out." Unless, you plan on telling me you have a degree in speech therapy I suggest you drop it. I'm writing this not because I'm worried about what people think of me but because I do believe in calling people on their BS when they mouth off about something they know nothing about.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:33 PM  

I was wondering how the comments skyrocketed to 19 all of a sudden, then I read them.

Calm down everyone!!! Dan climbed a rope this past weekend, I think you are all missing the big picture here.

By Blogger Kristina, at 2:56 PM  

Wow, what a rukus I've stirred up for making, what I thought were obviously mean-spirited/sarcastic comments. I didn't think people would think I were serious...lighten up.

But seriously Dan, thanks for "disassociating" yourself from me. That's just great. Exactly what I would want one of my true friends to do. No need to back me up, I can take care of myself.

By Blogger brent, at 3:26 PM  

Oh Tham....look what you did

By Blogger Stacy, at 9:11 PM  

Planet Dan:
This is what I love about you: you harvest stories from your own embarassing and akward situations for everyone's amusement!!

I used to just come here for the incredibly bizarre pictures (whale boner!!!), but I started reading the words when you wrote a story about getting into a jerky-driving situation with a *funeral train! You were like "I am a jerk" and I was like "this guy is funny."

By Anonymous Simone, at 1:42 PM  

i am crying. with laughter, and also for you... and with empathy.
same thing happened to me once when a new hairstylist was cutting my hair. she said her name was "leatha", or so i thought. i said "hi leatha! my name'th melitha."

she wasn't laughing. her name was lisa.

i got the worst haircut ever, and she got the biggest tip, ever.

By Anonymous melissa mcgee, at 11:34 PM  

Once I met a German from Eastern Europe (Transsylvania!) with a strong Eastern European accent (involving an "r"-sound like in Russian). At one point I ended up taking over his accent and asked him: "So what's it like in Trrrrransylvania?". Man, I felt so stupid.

By Blogger Georg, at 6:32 AM  

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