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Thursday, May 29, 2008 :::

Medical Marvels

The "Octopus Girl" has lots of extra limbs. Four, to be exact. Doctors are removed them, and apparently you can watch the whole thing on some National Geographic documentary next month:

I, too, am a medical marvel. I still have two baby teeth that never fell out. Apparently it would be an ordeal to have them removed. Probably not as big of a deal as having four extra limbs removed, but I guess some little girls from India are luckier than certain thirtysomething boys from Minneapolis.

I also have what a doctor once told me could be the beginning of a third nipple on my chest, and although another doctor recently informed me that it is most likely nothing more than your average skin blemish, I'm choosing to believe doctor #1 just for the novelty of it.

A certain friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, tells me that she never has to cut her toenails. The implication was that they just don't grow and that they always retain the perfect length and shape, but I'm more inclined to believe that they are just thin and brittle and maintain themselves by regularly breaking off into her shoes and socks.

And finally, I've recently heard TWO separate secondhand accounts of another kind of medical marvel. One person tells me that they know a girl who swears by her claim that she only poops once every two weeks. Another person tells a similar story of an acquaintance who claims to poop only once a month. I, of course, can't verify either of these claims, but I find them fascinating nonetheless. I can't even begin to imagine what one must feel like toward the end of such a "gestation" period, and I can only assume that such a person would require multiple wardrobes based on what point they are in their "cycle" - due to the subsequent gut bloating - but I'd really rather not explore that concept any further.

I guess everyone is a medical marvel in their own right.

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::: posted by dan at 12:17 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments Social Bookmark Button

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5 previous comments:

My biofeedback therapist (I think she was a psychologist by training) told me once that she'd done her Ph.D. dissertation on chronic constipation and one of her subjects only went ONCE A YEAR. No lie. He was kind of a medical marvel- a totally extreme case. Can you imagine what that one poo a year was like for that man? Seriously....


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:58 PM  

Where are your baby teeth?
I don't get it do you just have adult teeth that are impacted under the wonkey baby's or are you toothless underneath them?

I swear they never grow
by the way
do you remember every embarrassing thing I tell you?
My hair also stops growing at a certain is true stylists have even verified it...

By Blogger Stacy, at 11:33 PM  

i'vet met a girl with no bellybutton. apparently she had a herniated umbilical cord.

By Anonymous Karyn, at 10:23 AM  

Or maybe she was begotten, not made!

By Blogger dan, at 3:06 PM  

As for my baby teeth, no adult teeth ever came up underneath them, so nothing ever pushed them out. Xrays reveal the absense of any underlying adult teeth. :(

By Blogger dan, at 3:07 PM  

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