planetdan

Friday, August 31, 2007 :::

There's bones in that there belly.

A lot of people think that pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I think it is disgusting on every level. Every time someone I know gets pregnant, all I can do is look at their stomach and think "There's bones in there. And a tongue. And some eyeballs. And it's all just floating around in a big slime-filled sack." I can't believe someone would actually enjoy having something like that inside them, pooping. That's why this Onion article made me laugh out loud:

By the way, I'd advise against ever Googling a phrase "parasite baby", otherwise you might have to see stuff like this. You were warned.

::: posted by dan at 1:03 PM :: [ link ] :: (10) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

10 previous comments:

I thought: "Surely Dan, our ever-reliable source for all things scatological, can't have got this one right. Certainly there must be some kind of placental exchange between mother and fetus rather than his reported fouling of the proverbial nest!

My own Google search however, proved D.M. (that's "D.M."!) right as always. By way of apology for harboring doubts, I offer you this amazingly pertinent result from my own research:
http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Knowledgebase/wombpoop.html

By

Anonymous, at 2:20 PM

I couldn't read the onion article because it was too small and I couldn't click it bigger. didn't feel like going over to the onion website and then searching, blah, blah, blah. It really is time for a highball.

By

toddbee, at 4:50 PM

I'm not a doctor, but I play one on Dan's blog.

About the baby poop/meconium stool thing.... Fetuses don't poop the whole time they are in utero - they don't eat!!! Their waste comes back through the umbilical cord to the mother on a molecular level and goes out with her waste. They poop after (rarely during) birth. Mine all did it properly in their wee diapers the day after they arrived, and it's greenish black and tarry and sticks to their butts and you really have to scrub it off, but its only that first poop. The rest are yellow and soft and easy to clean up. It's only occasionally that babies dump on the way out and then it gets "aspirated." so there, dumbasses. Gosh!

By

toddbee, at 4:52 PM

Gee Dan, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks being pregnant is disgusting - pooping or no pooping, it's still icky.

Mel

By

Anonymous, at 5:20 PM

Ugh. This really wasn't a very good day to decide to eat my lunch in front of the computer whilst perusing PlanetDan.

Gross.

-C

By

me, at 3:52 PM

I'm with you, Dan. Pregnancy is so not fancy! It kinda makes me gag. And what's up with this lady being all excited about having a parasite in her uterus? She's a FREAK!

By

CampBlood, at 7:51 AM

Stone babies -
not "stoned" babies!
Saw a program on them last
weekend. Talk about gross.
One woman had a stone child
inside her for 46 years!!!!
Totally calcified.

By

Anonymous, at 5:46 PM

You described exactly how I feel about pregnancy. The whole pregnancy thing grosses me out as well. Pregnancy will always remain on my "Not To Do" list of life.
Thanks Dan for your words of wisdom.

By

Anonymous, at 4:54 PM

I think it is disgusting on every level. Every time someone I know gets pregnant, all I can do is look at their stomach and think "There's bones in there. And a tongue. And some eyeballs. And it's all just floating around in a big slime-filled sack." I can't believe someone would actually enjoy having something like that inside them, pooping.

I couldn't possibly agree more.
I also hate how much information pregnant women are willing to give you on their whole experience. Seriously, I don't want to know how many times you've gone pee today or how sore your breasts are or any of the other digusting things related to your parasite.
*shudder* Breeders...

By

Gwenhwyfar, at 8:09 PM

Dan, HIGH FIVE! (borat voice)

Couldn't agree with you more. Of course being a WOMAN, I have to post this anonymously or the Broody Sows will come after me.

By

Anonymous, at 11:21 PM

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