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Monday, June 04, 2007 :::

Girls are a blessing.

Here is an actual conversation I heard yesterday while waiting in line to exchange a chair at Office Max, spoken with utter sincerity and complete seriousness, as if they were having a casual conversation about the performance of their favorite sports team or something:

Cashier: Is that your daughter?
Gangster: Yes, one of two.
Cashier: Two daughters! You got any boys?
Gangster: They were supposed to be boys.
Cashier: Say what?
Gangster: They had dicks on the ultrasound, but they came out with cootchies.

[prolonged silence]

Cashier: Girls are a blessing.

::: posted by dan at 8:07 AM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

15 previous comments:

I find it fascinating that we have to have a license to operate a car but we don't have to have one to have kids. Man this guy is going to eff up his kids. Hopefully his dick will diappear too and he won't be able to spawn anymore.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:07 PM  

"Cootchies"? Everyone knows it's a hooha.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:10 PM  

At least he's claiming them! That's a novel idea...

By Anonymous Noelle, at 3:02 PM  

I just saw that movie on cable the other day!

"They Had Dicks on the Ultrasound,
But They Came Out With Cootchies!"

One of Russ Meyer's best.


By Anonymous Fran with one "N", at 9:32 PM  

"How am I supposed to get that thing in my mouth?"

By Blogger Mr. Your On Fire Mr., at 10:49 PM  

How do you know he's going to eff up his kids? There are way worse parenting sins than admitting that the ultrasound had you fooled, or that you have an offspring gender preference.

I still say cootchie. Except on the ultrasound it's called "labia," but I didn't know what "labia," were, so I had to ask the technician. Am I a bad mom, too? Oh, and I wish at least one of the three woulda hadda dingle instead of a cootchie, but its really not a big deal.

By Anonymous "bee" part of toddbee, at 8:40 AM  

I need to start shopping in your neighborhood...stuff like that never happens to me. That is pretty freakin' hilarious!

I do agree with toddbee though, there are far worse parental offenses...the kids could be scarred for other reasons, but not likely for this.

By Blogger Trudy, at 10:07 AM  

One of my favorite overheard comments: Dontchu call my bitch no ho!

By Anonymous Claudia, at 11:03 AM  

I once witnesses when 2 small children were with their mom at a laundromat when the boy was trying to eat some potato chips that the little girl had. All of a sudden, the mom slaps the little boy & tells him "Get away from her with your evil greedy self. You don't even like those, you mother f*cker!"

I just stood there in shock, staring. That's when she turned to me & said "Can I help you?"

I try not to stare so much anymore...

By Blogger CampBlood, at 12:21 PM  

I would've said "Yes, you can help me and everyone else your child will someday encounter by not being such an abusive slag... and then run like a motherfucker!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:46 PM  

"devin...get me my hat..."
I am a blogger again
hoo ray!

By Blogger Stacy, at 2:43 PM  

Black people are funny!

By Anonymous Robert, AZ, at 6:34 PM  

Dan, you should submit that to Funny stuff.

Robert, who said anything about these folks being black? Don't be judging

By Blogger otimak, at 1:32 PM  

Where in hell was that ultrasound done?

If you see "three legs" on the ultrasound - you've got yourself a boy.

Dicks don't just get absorbed - or turn into "cootchies" - biology just ain't that miraculous!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:25 PM  

Makes me think of the movie "Idiocracy".

Oh, and by the way, my vet call them "ding dongs". (serously) :)

By Blogger laserone, at 12:44 PM  

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