Thursday, May 24, 2007 :::
Here's a little poll: It's summer again, and car windows are being rolled down across the country, so what do you think is the worst song to be caught singing loudly in your car?
Kmack thinks that show tunes like How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria would be the worst, assumingly because no one ever wants to admit they like them in the first place. But I think even worse would be a song like Batdance by Prince, because it's hopelessly dated and was never really all that good to begin with.
Of course I speak from experience. Yesterday some woman walking her dog caught me at a stoplight singing along to Prince's nadir performance a little too enthusiastically, right at the point of the song when the music scratches to a halt and Prince dramatically says: "Keep Bustin'." Of course, in this case it was a dan and Prince duet. I could see the lady trying not to laugh, and those awful words just kept echoing through my head: Keep Bustin'.
Even worse, later in the day I found myself driving and singing again, apparently having not learned my lesson. This time it was along with The Long Winters' Ultimatum (right click to download), which has a chorus that starts out: "My arms miss you, my hands miss you...", at which point I looked over to see a man staring at me from the corner and quickly realized that he had no arms. And rather than minimizing the embarrassment for everyone involved by pretending not to notice, I panicked, gasped, and rolled up my window. Because I keep my cool in situations like that. That's twice in one day. Time to keep your trap shut, dan. At stoplights and intersections, at least.
::: posted by dan at 8:07 AM :: [ link ] :: (22) comments
22 previous comments:
Naw, you don't have to stop singing Dan...just keep belting them out.
I think anything by Michael Jackson would be bad (no pun intended).
By Trudy, at 12:20 PM
I agrree with Trudy. You Keep Bustin' Dan!!!
I was busted singing Marilyn Manson, but with my voice it sounds like Devo covering Ms. Manson....
Speaking of Devo, I was busted once singing to their songs... I'm sure a very bad choice to subject others to...
By CampBlood, at 12:34 PM
Holy crap, I had to pull the old hold-my-nose-and-mouth-shut trick to keep from laughing REALLY loud at work after reading about the guy with no arms. It's official, I'm going to hell.
By Joel, at 1:20 PM
just a couple hours ago coming back from my uni i got caught singing along with Chris Cornell to the awesome and haunting song off of Soundgarden's incredible album Superunknown ("4th of July"). but oh wait I have air conditioning so my windows were closed and no one could hear my singing (which I thought rocked), BUT many a German could SEE me singing along - is it worse without audio?
By Richard, at 2:09 PM
Speaking of belting out tunes whilst other people stare on horrified … I was at the gym yesterday when a woman got on the elliptical machine and just as she started her workout she belted out at the top of her lungs in a screechy warble “Ooh OOOH Ahh Oh” and continued to do so every few minutes. At first I thought it was a joke but she just kept doing it over and over again for about an hour (I think she had the song on repeat). I’m still not sure what song she was “singing” it was either Fall Out Boy’s “Dance, Dance” or Gwen Stefani’s “The Sweet Escape” which I know are REALLY dissimilar and shows you how bad it was…
By , at 2:20 PM
If there's any place to be caught singing Batdance (a fine song...especially with all the remixed movie dialogue--"Vicky Vale! Vicky Vale!"), Minneapolis is the place.
By , at 3:17 PM
Reminds me of the years when a lotta people thought they sounded like Whitney Houston (and I-ee-I will always lurve you)....
By andrew, at 4:16 PM
I was once singing alone with Olivia Newton John and ELO on the title track of Xanadu (What? That movie rocked - Gene Kelly, rollerskates, 1,000 costume changes...) when a homeless guy chucked his cup of mystery nasty fluid at my car. It went all over my windshield. That was a pretty humiliating moment.
By Lynn, at 5:07 PM
I got busted by two chicks singing along to, in my falsetto none-the-less, "No More Tears," by Babs and Donna Summer. If ever anyone doubted that I am gay man...I mean really. Also, I love Dan.
By , at 7:01 PM
I love The Magnetic Fields, and while singing one of his tunes in public would be delightful, it would also be horribly embarrassing.
By Daniel Stout, at 11:29 PM
Your mention of "Batdance" triggered the memory that the song "Do the Bartman" exists and I think that would be in the top ten of bad songs to be caught singing to...
I hope you keep belting the tunes though-maybe start singing the crappy song TO the starers...that'll learn 'em.
By , at 8:21 AM
"Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man". That's all I'm saying. Or anything that has EVER been the finale song for an American Idol contestant. Now, on the other hand, if anyone is singing "King of the Road", "I'm Going Straight to Hell" or "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", everyone else will automatically pick up the tune and sing along.
By Princess Sparkle Pants, at 8:25 AM
Anything by REO Speedwagon - totally singable and totally embarrassing. Not that that stops me....
By Heather, at 11:49 AM
Dan, I too have suffered the embarrassment of having a bad song blaring from my car at an inopportune time. No, it doesn't compare to your man with no arms story, but it was really embarrassing nonetheless. I made a video recreation of the incident on my website if you're curious: campjinx.com (go to the archives section and search for "Entrance Music") (sorry for the lengthy and shameless plug).
Keep bustin' (hey, I think I'm going to use that as my official sign off now)
By matt, at 12:55 PM
I was once stopped next to a woman who was singing along to the "Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack. I couldn't stop giggling. Considering how loud the music/her singing was, I doubt she'd notice.
So I agree with Kmack. Showtunes all the way.
By Monkey, at 12:01 AM
oh man, you are BACK! maybe it was just me, but for a while there seemed to be no planet dan. hurrah! anyway, i don't have a car, but when i do drive, in bumper to bumper traffic, i like to sing to a tape i have of the spanish smurfs (los pitufos). THAT turns some heads.
By Diana, at 12:16 AM
I think the thing is that any song that would be really terrible to be caught sing would also be a song you wouldn't want to be caught listening to. How do you solve a problem like Maria? isn't any more acceptable to listen to if you're not singing along. And you certainly don't look any cooler if you refrain from getting down with MC Hammer.
But here's a question for you, is it worse to be caught belting out your favourite song or doing your own especially dorky "car dance"?
By Gwenhwyfar, at 9:55 AM
OK, the ultimate embarassment is when you, a parent with excellent music taste and still slamming body, also with young child nobody else can see in the back seat, is caught singing along to Raffi.
By , at 11:54 AM
go, go, go, go with a smile
By Bewareoftheblog, at 8:12 PM
Does anyone remember Bette Midler's short-lived sitcom a few years back? On one episode, the closing scene was Bette in her car singing along to "The Thong Song" without missing a single lyric. Hilarious. All the world's a singalong to me, and in my head it sounds as good as Bette. My kids are constantly amazed that I can sing along to everything from ABBA to zydeco; including "Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man," but much prefer "It's Only Make Believe."
By Nick, at 9:47 AM
I can justify singing along to most anything except really melodramatic love songs like anything Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, or Air Supply ever sang. I also hate it when people sing to songs they don't know the words to- like Lady Marmalade (Patti Labelle or Christina Aguilara versions)- and they just stick in their own words or sounds to compensate.
By , at 11:03 AM
First time commentor... and this was just too good to pass up. I had a similar experience. I used to use AOL, and someone IM'd me out of the blue. A man who lived local... so what the heck, I'll bite. We talked back and forth for a few hours... .really seemed to "click". He sent me a headshot, and I was floored. He was really good looking. Since I've always been the slightly overweight chick, I have had to compensate with wit and sarcasm in order to get people to converse with me. So, I made a feeble attempt at humor. His name happened to be Rusty, so I told him one of my favorite jokes.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves??
There was a long pause...
Finally he writes...
"Funny you should mention that. I actually have a prosthetic leg."
I felt like the biggest ass on planet Earth. I mean really... what are the friggin odds???? I met him in person. He really did have a fake leg.
Note to self: never.tell.that.joke.again.
By , at 12:15 AM
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