Tuesday, February 27, 2007 :::
Remember when I had a goatee? Yeah, I don't either. I had it for a total of two weeks nearly six years ago until one day I decided I looked like a reject from a Kevin Smith movie so I shaved it off. I just don't think I'm a facial hair kinda guy. I don't have the personality to back up whatever it is that a goatee represents. Plus the thing was a pain in the poopka to maintain.
I think this is the only surviving picture of it:
Yes, I know it was trendy to sport a goatee back then. Here is a short list of other fads I may have participated in:
First Grade: Anything Star Wars
Second Grade: Anything E.T.
Third Grade: Anything Transformers/Go-Bots (Robots in Disguise)
Fourth Grade: Police Academy Movies
Fifth Grade: Garbage Pail Kids
Sixth Grade: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Seventh Grade: Rolling and pinning jeans, concurrently
Eighth Grade: Armitron watches; Turtlenecks; Memorizing Ton Loc lyrics
Ninth Grade: Mullet and sidespike, concurrently
Tenth Grade: Adding the word "not" to the end of a sentence as a negating declarative, a'la Wayne and Garth
Eleventh Grade: Long-haired alternative haircut and skateboarder clothing, regardless of the fact that I didn't own a skateboard or know how to ride one; Memorizing Vanilla Ice lyrics
Twelfth Grade: Nirvana
Speaking of lackluster facial hair, this is my favorite exchange on The People's Court, evar*:
*Actually, there was a People's Court episode that K-Mack and I viewed once that I may have enjoyed more, where a kid was sued for throwing a rock and damaging an automobile after having to endure a chorus of "blondie-butt" taunts. And I also appreciated the episode where Divine Brown's pimp tried to sue her for not giving him his cut,** but that may have been Judge Judy now that I think about it.
**Isn't it the awesomest thing ever that Divine Brown has a Wikipedia entry?
::: posted by dan at 5:15 PM :: [ link ] :: (19) comments
19 previous comments:
You're still a sex pot!
By , at 5:38 PM
You are still very sexy. I don't like facial hair anyway.
By Sarah, at 6:31 PM
By , at 7:39 PM
yeah dan...good choice shaving the goatee, it's just not your look.
so, where would you fit in the word 'choice'(as in awesome) for everything?! Or am I too old for that?
By Trudy, at 8:15 PM
Did you eat those babies twink? or did booze get caught in your stache'
By , at 9:53 PM
There is a weird baby-shaped paper weight on your furry arm.
By , at 7:32 AM
I like the goatee. Its a very nice color. Breaks up your face, which is pleasant, albeit kinda large and white. It also helps your lovely, but prominant, eyes to recede visually.
you are SO trying to hook ladies who will fawn when they see that wee one asleep in your arms. I don't know how people (FATTY) can question that you're straight.
By , at 8:35 AM
My favorite People's Court was the one where a roommate was suing his ex-roommate because they left the place a mess when they got kicked out and painted "an offensive word" on the wall. The word in question? "Mullet". Admitted with embarassed sighing and eye-rolling to the guy who does the interviews afterwards.
By june, at 1:11 PM
flava sava city ho mo
my word verification was rycummie how fitting
By , at 1:15 PM
Please dan, look up that poster's IP address and ban them. This is getting really annoying.
By , at 2:15 PM
That weird baby shaped paper weight referred to on Dan's arm is his nephew, my son. and he was quite cute then.
By Trekgeekscott, at 2:54 PM
I think the goatee looks fine. Dan... hot as always!
By CampBlood, at 3:08 PM
Trekgeekscott - Since the weird baby-shaped paper weight "was cute then." When did he stop being cute?
By , at 3:17 PM
This isn't cool or interesting but I must note that all of your interests were mirrored over here at the same time in Calfornia...like a childhood completely ruled by one national marketing scheme after another....
By , at 4:27 PM
Personally, I like a guy who isn't afraid to experiment with facial hair styles. And besides, I think that look worked for you. You should try it again. Just don't try the mullet again. It doesn't work for anybody (not even you).
But I'm curious about one thing. Turtlenecks? I know we're about the same age, Dan, and I know that turtlenecks were definitely not in style in eighth grade. I guess it's a Midwestern thing?
By , at 6:31 PM
I am one of few that think that you look hot with it, hot all the time actually. If I wasn't married with 3 kids, and lived too far away, I would stalk you.
By , at 8:43 AM
Hey I think you looked great with the goatee --though Im curious what personality you think should back up the look. Ive had mine for almost 10 years and am guessing I dont have what it would take to back it up! :-)
By Scott, at 9:33 AM
I, too, like the goatee. However, I do understand the pain that goes along with facial hair. It's itchy, too!
By Bob, at 8:40 PM
Actually, that's not a goatee. That's a VanDyke. A goatee is without the mustache - just the chin. You know, like a goat because goats have that long chin hair. Try out a goatee now that you had a vandyke, maybe you'll be more comfortable with that, but probably not. The vandyke looked pretty cool on you btw.
By Richard, at 1:46 PM
< Back to Blog
I'd rather slit my wrists...
Art in Reverse
Return of the Animated GIF
Your two-month taxes-due countdown reminder.
In Yer Face
Planetdan, now in 3D!
Using Netflix to Spread the Joy of Dan
beware of the blog
b stacy b
trek geek scott
and far away
the big lug
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder