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Friday, February 02, 2007 :::

Dan Murray

Last night I dreamt that I was preparing myself for a formal event when I noticed my hair was wildly out of control (which was probably just a subliminal aftershock from seeing that crazy bride video the other day), so I ran to my usual stylist to get a quick trim.

In waking life, there is a man-stylist at the salon who is always giving me dirty looks. My innate insecurity has led me to believe that he thinks I'm just not good-looking enough to be frequenting such a high-scale salon, which is probably true. Apparently my fear of him has invaded my subconscious, because in my dream I saw him pull my stylist aside and hand her a big wad of crumpled up cash and whisper, "I'll give you all of my tips from today if you give him a Meg Ryan. No wait, give him an Anne Murray." To my surprise, my stylist smirked and pocketed the cash, and I started to sweat through my tuxedo.

I carefully confronted my stylist as she was trimming my hair: "You know, I heard what he said, and I saw you take the cash." But she just demurred, saying "Oh no, we were just joking around. He owed me that money for a sandwich," but of course when she turned me around to face the mirror I looked something like this, only without the hoop earrings:

For the sake of comparison:

Obviously, I freaked out but then somehow the dream changed into something else where my hairstylist was a television reporter and she was interviewing me for an exposé about adoption scams and that's where all logic falls apart.

But when I woke up I was intrigued about what I'd look like with a Meg Ryan. It's much better:

Then I got a little photoshop crazy imagining what other nasty celebrity hairdos they could have inflicted upon me:

Dan as Steven Wright

Dan as Thom Yorke

Dan as Phil Spector

I had a Dan as K.D. Lang all mocked up, too, but it was just too hideous.

Oh, and while I was mocking up the Anne Murray photo, I inadvertently adjusted a transparency setting in Photoshop that gave me a startling vision of what Miller/Murray offspring might look like, and it's really not a pretty picture:

It definitely looks Canadian, though. Anyway, I have better things to do than to fool around with Photoshop all night.

::: posted by dan at 12:32 AM :: [ link ] :: (27) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

27 previous comments:

That hardly looks like you as Meg, did you steal her neck too?

I think I'd be playing around with Photoshop all the time!

By Blogger Trudy, at 2:32 PM  

Wow, you need to stay far from the Fro look.

By Blogger Dooce Fan!, at 5:02 PM  

These pictures are my favorite things on the internet.
You are the radicalia.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:47 PM  

your couldnt be any more queer

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:33 PM  

i totally just peed in my panties.

By Anonymous melissa mcgee, at 6:37 PM  

I'm wiht Melissa - the "Dan Murray" had me choking. Plus, who even THINKS of Ann Murray anymore? She hasn't been in my thoughts since the 80's

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:27 PM  

Dan, I have read your blogs for quite some time now, & I must say you have made me pee & / or spit beverage on a consistent basis. Bless you & the work you do ! If you ever make it to St. Peter ( yes, Minnesota ) check out our Irish bar, we will treat you very well. We love you !

By Anonymous Helga, at 8:48 PM  

Is it just me or do you look like a strange Robert Downey Jr. look a like in the Meg Ryan shot?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:56 PM  

Oh, my. Thom Yorke is my favorite. Inspiration for your next Halloween outfit, maybe?
We must be channeling the same thoughts, Dan, because I have been on an Anne Murray kick lately. There is something so 70s-fabulous about Anne Murray (really her best work was in the 70s). Danny's Song? Who doesn't love it? Have you heard Me First and the Gimme Gimmes' version? Complete Awesomeness.

By Anonymous lola, at 12:56 PM  

do your parents know your a drunk gay?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:42 PM  

I hate you for your photoshop prowess. One day, dan,you'll have an email of ME photoshopped onto YOU. Thankfully it'll take about 3 years, but till then... wait

By Blogger Alicia, at 10:12 PM  

You are a very, very odd person. Oh and that crazy video bride is a fake:

Why oh why is everything on the Net a lie.

By Anonymous Ricky, at 11:24 PM  

I'm interested to hear what your idea of "looking Canadian" is.

By Blogger Gwenhwyfar, at 10:37 AM  

dan, i have loved your blog for a long time, but please lighten up on the post about you showing you. there's more to you than your mug, isn't there?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:29 AM  

Dan does look like Robert Downey, Jr. it's the eyes. Mr. Downey has the dark eyebrows, which help.

By Anonymous toddbee, at 8:52 AM  

The one of Thom Yorke looks more like Rod Stewart. Great work!

By Anonymous Yolel, at 10:49 AM  

Hahahaha!!!! Dan Murray almost made me pee....

By Blogger CampBlood, at 12:54 PM  

Dan .. I'm with Helga regarding "If you ever make it to St. Peter...."
And I loved Anne Murray when I was a little girl .. true confession. ;)

By Anonymous Schenn, at 3:12 PM  

the Meg Ryan one looks like David Spade, dead on. aint really seeing the Downey, just the Spade. And thatīs the only picture that isnīt DISTURBING.

By Anonymous Richard, at 4:29 PM  

actually, all the pictures are disturbing... not to put down your photoshop skills or anything, but your face looks better (just more natural) on your head. and that other one does look like Rod Stewart.

By Anonymous Richard, at 6:55 PM  

Those photos are too creepy!

I had an inkling that wedding vid was fake.

By Anonymous August, at 9:28 PM  

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your chinese friend!

By Anonymous ????, at 1:58 AM  

Is it me, or does the pic of Dan with Meg Ryan's hair look like David Byrne? Mind you, David Byrne has never rocked that hairstyle, but something in that pic makes me think Dan could pull off a wicked David Byrne next halloween.

By Anonymous Matt, at 11:48 AM  

I'm not sure what's going on in your life that has let to the absence of posts, but I can assure you that nothing is going on in my life and the one bright spot in my day is to read your blog. PLEASE post. I need my daily dan fix.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:49 PM  

Yes, please post something new...Dan Murray is really starting to freak me out!

By Blogger Trudy, at 10:11 AM  

Danne Murray looks strangely like a 1985 Joe Piscopo. Weird.

By Blogger NonDairy, at 4:22 PM  

I love the comment about your blog needing to lighten up on your face, oh my gosh it is a DAN blog, I love to see him or him photoshopped or whatever. who should he blog about....YOU?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 PM  

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