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Tuesday, January 16, 2007 :::

Worst. Photo. Ever.

Whenever I come across forgotten childhood pictures, the resulting feelings are usually that of deep mortification and regretful sorrow. I dream of one day finding some seemingly normal photo of myself as a nine-year-old, perhaps wearing a baseball jersey, or maybe even a shirt with sleeves. This continues to be my dream. Here is, by far, the worst I've yet to see:

I don't know what makes me cringe worse, the purse around my elbow, the baby doll in my lap, or the fabric bag worn as a bonnet. I guess I can find a little solace in the fact that at least I had enough shame to keep my shirt on, unlike my scrawny older brother. My cousin Linzee was kind enough to scan and send this photo to me. She is pictured here in the middle. I'm positive her intention was to embarrass me with the memories, so I'll return her the favor by telling a true story: this very same day at her house in Pennsylvania, she was having so much fun playing dress up with us that she literally wet her pants. Okay, so she was probably at the age where wetting her pants wouldn't seem as strange as, say, a nine-year-old boy carrying a purse and a baby doll, but I just thought I would mention it.

Anyway, thanks for the memories, Linzee.

::: posted by dan at 10:44 PM :: [ link ] :: (25) comments Social Bookmark Button

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25 previous comments:

Oh. Dear. Lord.

By Blogger slaphappyannie, at 11:14 PM  

Ditto that, slaphappy.

I don't think it was a matter of shame with Scott. I think he was trying to show he was a boy amid all the gender confusion going on in that scene.

By Anonymous Sissy, at 12:32 AM  

It's Hedwig & The Angry Inch!

By Anonymous August, at 4:33 AM  

was that your tribute to the "amish" while in PA? Although I've never seen the Amish with handbags. If you look lose enough you can spot the fact that you were wearing underoos.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:04 AM  

i like the crotch shot. i'm hoping those are super short 80's shorts and not your panties, cause hanging out in your underwear with a doll and purse is just that much worse...

By Anonymous sarah, at 8:55 AM  

See, the problem I have here is that there was some adult who took this picture. Y'all were being silly kids, playing dress up, but some freaking adult thought, 'Awww... I'm going to take a picture of this so we can laugh at these children at a future date! I mean that what they're here for, right? To laugh at when they do silly kid stuff?'

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:19 PM  

Said it before, and I'll say it again: you are a brave, brave man.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:24 PM  

Consolation prize? Your brother has a doll too (and no shirt, as you pointed out).

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:33 PM  

And not only does your brother have a doll (not to mention the mouse ears), but for one terrifying second I seriously thought he was naked.
Don't feel too bad about the cross dressing thing Dan. I have pictures of my brother doing a pirouette in one of my dresses and frilly hats and we still tease my cousin about pretending to be a superhero named Vicky when he was little (his sidekick was our great-grandmother).

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:08 PM  

yes, what happened to your pants? between you and your brother, this is practically child porn. naughty dan!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:52 PM  



Oh I cant breathe.

By Blogger Colleen, at 8:54 PM  

I'm wearing shorts you pervs. Jeesh.

By Blogger dan, at 10:55 PM  

lol. being a perv is fun, though.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:55 PM  

It's not just that you're holding the doll - you're cuddling it.

It is nice of you to give everyone in those senior pictures a chance to chuckle back :-)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:16 AM  

Why does this photo remind me of the movie "Pretty Baby"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:01 PM  

I'm surprised no one has said anything about the girl sitting next to your brother. She looks like an adult--or at least a teenager. She probably instigated the whole thing--"wouldn't it be funny to dress Dan up as a girl?" Anyway, she's the one who should be held responsible.

By Anonymous lola, at 11:01 AM  

I mean...damn!

By Blogger Monkey, at 8:55 AM  

It is amazing, that anytime Dan finds an embarassing picture of himself, that I am also in the picture and in many ways it is more embarassing to me. Why do you keep doing this to me? I have enough emotional problems right now.

Oh, sweet Lord! I had to check to be sure I wasn't naked.

By Blogger Trekgeekscott, at 9:36 AM  

Dude. I can totally see your lady business.

By Blogger Jake, at 9:42 AM  

I think it's a fabulous photo! we've all got a picture like that somewhere - it's called being a kid!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:08 PM  

Wow, what a funny look at the past.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:56 PM  

I find this picture deeply disturbing. Dan you know what might be weird to put on planetdan?? A childhood picture of you dressed as a boy. :)

By Blogger Nate Dogg, at 3:07 PM  

I don't have any of those.

By Blogger dan, at 4:03 PM  

Dan, your outfit is very Little Edie in "Grey Gardens!" Which means that you're *totally* fashion-forward in an eccentric-reclusive-socialite way.

Love it!

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 10:04 AM  

What can I say, Dan? Hanging out with family is so exciting it make me pee. Well, at least now I'll have my own kid to humiliate soon, so I won't have to send you more pics.

By Blogger Linzee, at 10:45 PM  

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