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Monday, September 11, 2006 :::

Bad Decisions

My first experience with Karaoke was as a senior in highschool. Stacy and I sang a charming duet of Copacabana at our Senior All-Night Party that literally got the crowd off the floor and onto their feet dancing. We were the life of the party. We were an entire graduating class' second wind during a long night of underaged partying. Or at least that's how I choose to remember it, regardless of accuracy.

My Karaoke history came to a climax last Thursday, after a much deserved kickball victory, where there happened to be Karaoke at the neighborhood dive bar.

It's a somewhat sobering moment to look around the room while your belting out Meatloaf's vocals from all nine minutes of Paradise By The Dashboard Light to see a bunch of stumbling drunk teammates completely lost in their own worlds, a couple random pool games being played uninterrupted three feet to my right, a spattering of beer-soaked locals with eyes fixated on some televised sporting event, and not one single patron actually watching me sing. Which is sad, really, because I killed. But seriously, a more enlightened thirtyone-year-old karaoke-singing kickball player might have taken it as a wake-up call.

Before that evening, I had higher Karaoke aspirations. I had wanted to make my next Karaoke performance to be my own interpretation of ELO's Sweet Talkin' Woman, but the requisite falsetto has me spooked. I may need to practice that one a bit before I unleash it on the general public. It's going to be an attention-grabber for sure, I promise you that.

Just to be clear, I am really not a fan of that Meatloaf song, so I must have been feeling pretty loose. There are a few songs that have been completely ruined for me due to rampant overuse by wedding reception deejays. Paradise.. is one of them. You Shook Me All Night Long is another, just the thought of which makes my stomach turn sour. Rounding out that list is probably Stroke It, You Look Beautiful Tonight, Brown Eyed Girl, Shout, and The Electric Slide. There are, of course, many more where those came from.

The Chicken Dance hasn't quite soured on me yet, though.

::: posted by dan at 11:23 PM :: [ link ] :: (22) comments Social Bookmark Button

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22 previous comments:

don't forget Celebration by Kool and the Gang

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:11 AM  

I like how the chick on the right tried to gussy up her cooter uniform with a giant garter type thingy.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:18 AM  

I like how Dan has the pen ready and waiting to add more songs -

By Blogger elizabeth, at 8:57 AM  

I run away if they play "Macarena."


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:01 AM  

Oh My God - Strokin' -- I'm havin' a stroke just thinkin'about - that has redneck written all over it

By Blogger Bubbles, at 9:01 AM  

i used to have a "whore" job while i was in radio - i hosted karaoke every tusday night for nearly 5 years at a local karaoke bar. nothing like hearing drunk people massacre songs like "friends in low places", "brown eyed girl", and "stairway to heaven" for five years.

By Anonymous melissa mcgee, at 9:12 AM  

Why Georgia by John Mayer is my favorite. What the hell is a cooter, anyway?

By Blogger Scott, at 11:18 AM  

strke it? do mean "the stroke" by billy squire?

you look beautifull tonight? do you mean "wonderful tonight" by eric clapton.

i have a friend that had wonderful tonight as her first dance at her wedding. it's the bain of her existance.

By Anonymous hubs, at 11:36 AM  

Definitely "Wonderful Tonight". That song makes me wretch. Not sure about Billy Squire and I'm not willing to google it to find out.

By Blogger dan, at 11:54 AM  

I have a feeling the pen was for shot gunning beers...

By Blogger the other sarah, at 12:37 PM  

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger the other sarah, at 12:38 PM  

Here is a test of our friendship... do you know the song I would love, but am too scared about performing karaoke style?

I will give you a hint, the high note intimidates me...

By Blogger Stacy, at 1:57 PM  

It's gotta be something by Elton John.

By Blogger dan, at 4:49 PM  

I'm pretty sure he means "Stroke It" by Clarence Carter, which is an oldie beach song...or shaggin' music as we know it down south. And, shaggin' as in a type of dance, not as in grrrrr, baby, austin powers shaggin. However, the song is mainly about the grrrr, baby shaggin'. The first time I actually listened to and understood the words to that song I was dancing with my daddy at a wedding. It suddenly became all wrong & I couldn't dance anymore.

By Blogger Michelle, at 4:58 PM  

How wonderfullll life is when your in the world....
what a attentive and observant friend

By Blogger Stacy, at 6:34 PM  

How 'bout... "Lovin' yoooooooo is easy cuz you're beautiful..... (screm) Ah ah ah ah ah ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:02 PM  

Ewww, armpit sweat stain on the chick on the right!!!!!!!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:11 PM  

Don't even try to forget the world's most overused wedding song --- Mony Mony. Good lawd, how I hate that song....

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:41 AM  

Your teammate looks hot rockin' out with pit stains and some added boob support!

By Blogger Nate Dogg, at 2:44 PM  

I agree with Jason. Macarena: worst song ever.
Btw. Dan, Kickball is so not cool.

By Anonymous Georg, at 5:15 PM  

I'm thinking "Margaritaville" or "Sweet Caroline" in order to work the full room participation angle.
If you REALLY want to kill the room dead, go for "Piano Man" or something else that's like 12 minutes long. Then there's "Love Shack" or "Fat Bottom Girls" if everyone's drunk enough, but my most recent favorite is "Elevation" by U-2, 'cause you just get to plain scream like a banshee.

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 4:21 PM  

how tight are those girls trousers?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:56 AM  

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