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Thursday, June 30, 2005 :::


Crack makes you constipated. Love makes you blind. Mix the two together, add a little Bobby Brown, and you got magic. Via a Time Out New York interview:

INTERVIEWER: You and Whitney are so intertwined in the public mind. Does it bother you that some people call you Mr. Whitney Houston?

BB: That doesn't bother me, because that's my wife and I'm proud of her.

INTERVIEWER: Evidently, you're very close. There's a moment in [your new reality] show when you describe helping Whitney with constipation by using your, uh, hand. Were you kidding?

BB: Oh no, I had to. She couldn’t go boo-boo. Sometimes, when people are constipated, you gotta help them out.

INTERVIEWER: I don't know if I'd do that for my wife.

BB: Why not?

INTERVIEWER: I don't think she'd let me. But I'm glad you guys have that type of relationship.

BB: Yes, we do.

::: posted by dan at 2:11 PM :: [ link ] :: (22) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

22 previous comments:

I knew it! That show is going to be crap-tastic!

By Anonymous Holly, at 2:30 PM  

Oh God I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady...I don't know which

By Anonymous grow-a-brain, at 5:09 PM  

Frank Zappa. Nice.

By Blogger dan, at 5:15 PM  


I thought he was off the crack? 'Parently not. Cuz you'd have to be on crack to resort to "that" to help relieve constipation. Freak.

By Blogger Colleen, at 7:01 PM  

I guess that's "his perogative." and "he can do what he wants to do."

WAH WAH WAH. Get it? God damn, I'm hilarious.

By Blogger brent, at 8:23 PM  

Just make them stop. Stop being together, stop being paid attention to, stop grabbing each other's "boo boos", stop acknowledging them, stop following their jail/drug/boo boo exploits, stop it, GAWD JUST PLEASE STOP IT!!

They haven't had a hit between the two of them in 10 years. How long does it go on before someone (god, the entire United States, Motown, their friends or intergalactic aliens) perfoms the "mother of all interventions"?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:31 AM  

A manual Evacuation is a part of life for those who don't eat their greens!!

By Blogger Trinity, at 4:46 AM  

I love you Brent!
My plan was to say the exact same beat me.Wow your lucky to have such funny friends Dan.

By Blogger Stacy, at 7:08 AM  

Back at'cha Stacy! I was surprised it got to 5 posts without it ...

Of course I watched the show and it was terrible. I am more interested in seeing Whitney all crazy. At one point she does a rousing rendition of the Gilligan's Island theme in a limo. PS Arista, remix that by Shep Pettibone and you've got her next hit. She is one crazy bitch. (with a voice sent from the heavens or whatever she believes in now.)

By Blogger brent, at 7:58 AM  

Is it possible that maybe he just rubbed her tummy or something?? You know, with his hand. I guess I don’t understand how someone would, *ahem* relieve their spouse of constipation with their hand. Does it involve scooping?? I’m gonna have to take a visit to WebMD for some clarification on this do it yourself home remedy.

By Blogger Kristina, at 8:57 AM  

Dude, that's just...
I mean...ew.
Manual evacuation?
Ew. I never wanna have THAT close a relationship with ANYONE.

By Blogger Karla, at 9:23 AM  

A certain nurse I know said you can use a finger to scrape it ("boo-boo") out. Make sure you have plenty of lube Kris. Don't want to scratch inside butt.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:37 AM  

two words:
anal stimulation.
it makes ya poop.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:04 PM  

I didn’t want to know how to do it so that I could have it done, I was just wondering what was involved for informational purposes only.

I bet you’re happy to have a trained professional on hand in the event you are ummm…stuck…in a situation like that.

By Blogger Kristina, at 12:14 PM  

I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink
But lean a little bit closer
See that roses really smell like boo-boo
Yeah, roses really smell like boo-boo.

That's just Ludicrous. Why can't she press on her own taint?

By Blogger Michelle, at 1:08 PM  

Crack actually tends to stimulate the bowels.

For a fairly accurate and colorful account of manual disimpaction you can go to:

By Blogger Erik, at 1:35 PM  

I don't think I really need to follow that link - knowing that there is a domain called is enough for me.

By Blogger Christine, at 9:31 PM  


i guess i'm wondering if erik googled the subject and found the poopreport site, or if he got it from his favourites

or maybe we're better off not knowing


By Anonymous fifi, at 10:02 PM  

oooops my bad... erik's in the medical profession

sorry erik, thought maybe you were just boo-boo obsessed

if anyone's interested, i checked and the domain name is available!


By Anonymous fifi, at 10:14 PM  

Woah. That poop report story almost made me pass out.

By Blogger dan, at 12:12 AM  

That poo poo thing is what many parents have done for their infants (2-5) as most of the little blighters dont drink enough water and definately dont eat enough roughage, mind you I think they now wear gloves! fellahs ask your parents and it's not soemthing they'll talk about openly. mind you my mother told me about it!

Hey if thats what Bobby needed to do then so be it, I wonder if it stank much as she doesn't eat does she, just snorts coke (not crack!) all day!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:51 AM  

hey enough but sex can kill to birds with one stone

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:16 PM  

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