planetdan

Thursday, July 12, 2007 :::

My Tragic Childhood

Every time I find a new stack of forgotten photographs in a box or a hidden envelope, my self-esteem takes a hit. Let's zoom around in time, shall we?

1987:
It would be another twenty years before The White Stripes would make this look cool. I can't pull this look off now, and I couldn't pull it off then. To make matters worse, I'm fairly certain that the red shirt was a hand-me-down... from my sister.

1990:
Either the shirt was way too long or the shorts were way too short. Or both. Sadly, the naked-from-the-waste-down look never caught on. Who wears short shorts? Dan wears short shorts. And black ankle socks with white tennis shoes. And a mullet. And in public.

1984:
I've posted this picture before, but I'd just like to point out the tight black T-shirt with the rolled-up sleeves tucked snugly into the belted black jeans. Never mind that the shirt says "Truckin'" in a sparkly silver font face. Do I see pleats?

1988:
I'm not sure which is worse: the fact that you can see my nipples and ribcage through my thin white pocket-T, or that my huge head is actually wider than my torso.

1985:
Sleeveless mesh and blow-dried hair. :(

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. For an entire year I actually had to wear a silver cap on a front tooth as some experimental technique to straighten out my choppers. It was very bling. I'd like to think that I outgrew that decade-long ugly phase, but I'm sure ten years from now I'll probably think differently.

::: posted by dan at 12:29 PM :: [ link ] :: (14) comments

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14 previous comments:

kudos on matching Jessica Rabbit's supermodel knee bend.

By

Anonymous, at 1:38 PM

Yeah, check out them gams - on Dan.

By

Anonymous, at 2:04 PM

If I had computer know how my cyber show ugly phase would blow yours out of the water

except for the no shorts one...

By

Stacy, at 3:19 PM

dan - dan - dan.... you have more courage than anyone i know.

are those platform sneakers that you're wearig with Jessica Rabbit???

By

Anonymous, at 4:37 PM

"wearing"....

By

Anonymous, at 4:38 PM

Am I rockin’ that’ Camp-Asaurous t-shirt or what, I’m surprised you didn’t learn a thing or two about fashion from me. Well, you’ll always be thinner than me, so there’s a bonus!

KMack

By

Anonymous, at 5:08 PM

Guess which one does not match with the others...?

It's the 84 one. It's just grand. Man, what movie stars!!

By

European Dream, at 3:22 AM

I think the school picture from '87 is sweet.

By

PTW, at 6:07 PM

Those are awesome.

By

Jason, at 11:19 AM

The 1990 pic of long shirt & short-shorts (or no shorts) wins hands down!!!!

Flash a little leg FTW!!!!

By

CampBlood, at 12:00 PM

` Nice legs, whoo! Now I'm strangely relieved that someone stole all my childhood photos!

` I also don't feel so alone in my braveness! (Of course, I have also posted multiple pictures of myself washing dishes while naked, but that's a different story.)

By

S E E Quine, at 1:54 PM

Holy Shit, I have that same photo of me with Jessica Rabbit. I may have to post that too.

By

Bewareoftheblog, at 7:03 PM

I think you look cute - especially the 1987 photo. Your Mum must have been very proud!

G'day from Australia!

By

Teresa, at 2:00 AM

i can totally relate to the silver cap. guess that kind of ruined the allure of becoming a giant rap star and getting gold fronts huh? poor us and our silver front teeth. awwww. :)

By

Anonymous, at 8:15 PM

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