Search planetdan:


Thursday, April 26, 2007 :::

Avid Enthusiast

I've been thinking about my epitaph and the typical two-word descriptive structure of modern day obituary writing, such as "Devoted Husband", "Avid Sportsman", and "NASCAR Enthusiast" (none of which am I). It would appear that brevity is an important factor in obit/epitaph writing, especially if you want enough room left over for a nice big face picture, which I certainly do.

So I started a list of possible two-word obituary-style descriptions of myself, just to prepare for the inevitable:

• Avid Gilmore Girls Viewer
• Decemberist Enthusiast
• Devoted Misanthrope
• Yardwork Avoider
• Prolific Jaywalker
• Energetic Spectator
• Backup Singer Wannabe
• Ethusiastic Fist-Pumper
• Subpar High-Fiver
• Disingenuine Crusader
• Eminent Apologist
• Amature Pop-locker
• Moustache Virgin
• Celebrated Animated-GIF Collector
• Uncelebrated Christmas Song Composer
• Anti-Skydiver
• Mad Genius

But I think it would be better to be enigmatic and intriguing and just go for something all-encompassing like "Avid Enthusiast". That could mean anything, which is what makes it particularly attractive. In fact, I almost don't want to wait until I die to unveil that one:

Also, I want to be cremated. And I want Lily Tomlin to eat the ashes. So at the risk of sounding like a bad frozen pizza commercial, what two words do you want on your tombstone?

::: posted by dan at 6:04 PM :: [ link ] :: (36) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

36 previous comments:

Just Married!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:22 PM  

Bush Lied!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:23 PM  

I Died?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:24 PM  

Hell IS Hot.

By Anonymous Robert, AZ, at 8:27 PM  

pop-lockers. lame. :)

By Blogger Daniel Stout, at 9:15 PM  

what bus?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:39 PM  

holy crap dan, i never think you can do it again but you did...i almost peed i was laughing so hard at this post! i want to wear some of those on my own t-shirts! hahaha keep it up

By Anonymous Haley, at 2:49 AM  

Two Words

By Blogger Kevdogg, at 8:04 AM  

My Tombstone

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:26 AM  

better me, huh?

By Blogger angie, at 9:12 AM  

Largely Ceremonial.
Wait. Those are the two words I'd like to see in my job description...


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:15 AM  

Compassionate Bitch

By Blogger Stacy B, at 12:20 PM  

Almost Clever.

By Anonymous sarah, at 12:22 PM  

Well Hung

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:46 PM  

Back Soon

By Blogger CampBlood, at 1:46 PM  

Occasional bed-wetter

By Anonymous Noelle, at 2:38 PM  

Happy Scoundrel

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:48 PM  

Poutine eater.

By Anonymous Ryan, at 6:49 PM  

Dan -- regarding Gilmore enthuiasm, you are SO right that they're back in the game! That haybale maze was GGs at their best. It's like LIFE is like a MAZE ... that's made out of HAY. Get it?! Yay, they're back!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:54 PM  

What the...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:17 PM  

bye bye

By Blogger Trudy, at 11:53 PM  

Smarmy McBitchslap

By Blogger Tae, at 7:28 AM  

Test it out??

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:57 AM  

size 4

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:08 AM  

This post has been removed by the author.

By Blogger tcarole, at 12:03 AM  

<== I'm With Stupid

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:03 AM  

Bad at counting words

By Blogger Jake, at 11:51 AM  

Gubernatorial Comptroller


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:54 PM  

When I read obits I always notice that people die after "a corageous battle with cancer." Personally, I know I would whine right up to the end and bitch a lot. I would want my obit to reflect that. " her ass kicked by cancer. Finally, her friends have some peace and quiet."

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:05 PM  

Trans Fat

By Blogger Flip Washington, at 4:17 PM  

For me:
Beloved by Self

For you:
Blogger Extraordinaire

By Anonymous lola, at 4:51 PM  

Did Timberlake

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:39 PM  

What's ridiculous is you made a pun that only film editors would get...

By Blogger Mr. Your On Fire Mr., at 9:34 AM  

Obvious alcoholic.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:42 PM  

avid musician

By Anonymous Richard, at 5:24 PM  

Smoking Kills

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:03 PM  

< Back to Blog

planetdan home
planetdan blog
dan's pics

The Dangers of Drug Interactions
Animated Fridays
Nobody likes a clown.
The internet has ruined me.
Case Closed
T.G.I.Friday and Animated
Everyone is gay.
Seeing Stars

jason mulgrew
beware of the blog
nyc babylon
sista c
b stacy b
trek geek scott
second toughest
and far away
chez lynne
the big lug
little voice

the superficial
boing boing
golden fiddle
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder



some ads