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Sunday, July 16, 2006 :::

Fifi is Batshit

I went to the Fiona Apple concert on Friday. That girl is bonafide batshit crazy. She performed well, but spoke with little coherence and often ran to hide under the piano and beat herself. It almost felt more like watching an exorcism than a concert. But I guess that's why I love her. I was a total rebel and snuck in a camera to snap some pictures:

You kinda have to be crazy when you are as brilliant as Fifi, though. She revealed during the concert that she wrote her ballad Slow Like Honey when she was 15 after a boy she liked made fun of her. FIFTEEN. Seriously, check out these lyrics:
You moved like honey, In my dream last night
Yeah, some old fires were burning
You came near to me, and you endeared to me
But you couldn't quite discern me
Does that scare you? I'll let you run away
But your heart will not oblige you
You'll remember me like a melody
Yeah, I'll haunt the world inside you
And my big secret: gonna win you over
Slow like honey, heavy with mood...

It's not that I think these are the most amazing lyrics ever put to paper, in fact they definitely smack of lovelorn prepubescence, but in comparison, here is some of my own poetry that yielded me an A+ in my highschool creative writing class when I was around the same age as Fiona:
There once was a singer named Milli,
Who sang with this brother, Vanilli,
Gyrating their hips,
Not a sound left their lips,
At least they could dance, well not really.

And nobody has ever offered ME a record deal. I guess we can't all be sullen, self-flagellating geniuses. In fact, I am seemingly way behind in the genius curve lately, seeing as how I had to break into my own house after I lost my keys in the concert hall:

Thanks for the boost, Kwatts.

::: posted by dan at 8:35 PM :: [ link ] :: (26) comments Social Bookmark Button

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26 previous comments:

long time fiona fan. i read about her first album before its release, and had to be there PRECISELY when the CD store opened (lo those many years ago) to purchase it. wore it out. am on my 3rd copy.

then i saw fiona as the musical guest on SNL when she was performed a song from her 2nd album, and watching her perform made me feel as if i needed to take an antispasmatic medication to continue watching. i was embarrassed for her, but like any good train wreck, i couldn't look away. i now listen to fiona apple while envisioning carly simon or joni mitchell - artists who barely moves while on stage. batshit is correct, sir.

By Anonymous melissa mcgee, at 9:14 PM  

Nice white socks.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:34 PM  

i heart fiona. every text message i get plays the chorus to criminal... speaking of, at least no one called the cops on you. And now we all know which window to use to break in.

By Blogger the other sarah, at 11:21 PM  

that poem is a brilliant piece of literature, long live the limerick. i have not a clue about fiona apple, but i have an aversions to emotional trainwrecks. that's why i listen to power-pop.

By Blogger Ems, at 3:30 AM  

Cool shoes.

By Anonymous Jill, at 6:21 AM  

I dig your limerick style. You crazy limerickin' sonovahbitch...

By Blogger Jay, at 9:41 AM  

every time I saw an interview with her, she talked about high school. I hate it when people who are OUT of high school focus on high school. it was a miserable experience that we all have to go thru, big deal. we hated it and moved on.
so I hate her.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:24 AM  

I touched Fiona after the show. And then I cried tears of happiness.

My photo is here.

By Blogger Amy, at 10:39 AM  

That limerick is awesome. My poetry teacher in college said we should all have one piece of poetry memorized - and that is now my one piece.

By Blogger Biglug, at 11:01 AM  

I once saw her on Regis when he was still with Kathy Lee. Long, LONG ago. She was talking about her CD and a lot of what she was saying was pretty provocative.

Kathy Lee looked completely confused and weirded out.

I have loved her since. I love anyone who can make Kathy Lee Gifford squirm...

By Anonymous Darcy's Twin, at 11:31 AM  

i saw her a month ago. since i'm a hardcore fan i call it her idiosyncrasy. but her performance of "slow like honey" was amazing.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:04 PM  

Great limerick, Dan! I remember that Milli Vanilli thing. I actually listened to them!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:12 PM  

That last one was me.

By Blogger Georg, at 5:16 PM the song Shadowboxer really about masterbation?

By Blogger molly, at 1:11 AM  

i bet you took some skin of your belly using that b and e technique

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:20 AM  

The break in is sooo James Bond of you - done with style Danny - pure style. (Does Fiona Apple look like those twins with the eating disorders or is it just me?)

By Blogger elizabeth, at 9:58 AM  

Speaking of bizarre performances...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:55 PM  

Three things;

1. Fifi is crazy. That's what makes her hot. Does anybody else remember her in the tub in the Criminal video? h. o. t. HOT

2. That is the best limerick ever dan. Don't sell yourself short.

3. Are you wearing pink socks?

By Blogger n8 b, at 6:32 PM  

Oh, she does look a bit like one of the Olsens, doesn't she? Amy: wicked cool you got a photo of her. But I can't decide if that t-shirt you're wearing is a bold statement of your individualism or something no one over the age of twelve should be wearing. Not that it's any of my business.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:09 PM  

since when do we have to type in the word we see if we want to post a message? I hate those things.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:09 PM  

I thought Amy's shirt was,... uhm... an odd choice, also. Ima google the "Criminal" tub video.

By Anonymous toddbee, at 10:29 AM  

omigosh! the "word verification" is handicapped accessible.

By Anonymous toddbee, at 10:30 AM  

Just this week, I started getting a brazillion robot comments on old posts, and they started creeping up and up to the current pages, so I had to put that stupid word verification thing in. Sorry, I hate it too.

By Blogger dan, at 1:07 PM  

For you color-blinded out there, Danīs socks are clearly beige - you know, to fit the brown shoes...

By Anonymous Richard, at 11:27 AM  

[definitely beige]

By Blogger dan, at 12:31 PM  

my shirt is from the smithsonian natural history museum. i work at a natural history museum. therefore i like it and it fits. sometimes i feel like i'm still 12, anyway.

By Blogger Amy, at 4:02 PM  

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