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Saturday, October 22, 2005 :::

Vacation Update

As punishment for rubbing my Hawaiian vacation in all of your faces, I've contracted something called "Swimmer's Ear", which is technically just an ear infection, but feels more like a hot poker being jabbed repeatedly into the side of my head. I spent three hours and $140 today to drive to the nearest urgent care in Kona, Hawaii. The good news is that I was given Vicadin to ease the pain, so let's get this vacation started again!

Our current location is a resort in Wiakalea that is the fanciest place I've ever stayed. One of my travel companions keeps repeating to herself "Who do I think I am, staying at a place like this?" And I concur. This place is way to good for me. There is a rumor going around that Jackie Chan is somewhere on site, so I've constantly got my camera on the ready, in case I can manage a papparazzi-style skin shot of him on the beach to sell to the Chinese tabloids for millions of yen, which from what I understand is like fifty bucks.

I read that people were expecting some skin shots of my own when I return and post my vacation pics, so here is a sneak preview:


P.S.: Oh, and the wedding that this vacation has been based around has come and gone, and now my good friend J-Wack is married. But the problem is her J-Wack nickname is derived from her maiden name, and if I apply a similar formula to her new married name then I come up with "J-Balls", which sounds a little filthy, so I may have to rethink this. Anyway, congrats J-Balls.

P.P.S or P.S.S. or whichever one is right: This expensive/fancy resort that I am too good to stay at charges $5.00 for 10 minutes of internet access, making this the most expensive. blogpost. evar.

::: posted by dan at 9:42 PM :: [ link ] :: (25) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

25 previous comments:

Hey Dan, if you need some cash to continue sharing your world with us, I'm sure al of us would be more than willing to donate to a PayPal account or something. I read your blog first thing ever day with my cup o' joe, and I'd hate to see you go down for lack of blog funds.

Best. Blog. Evar.

By Blogger civilwar, at 11:32 PM  

well then i guess the least i can do is comment...that ear infection serves you right biotch, it was 34 deg. when i woke up this morning.

By Anonymous diana, at 11:33 PM  

It's PPS, for post- post-script

By Blogger alivicwil, at 4:22 AM  

Re: ear infection. When swimming/diving/whatever in tropical water, my diving instructor taught me to rinse my ears with clean water. it is supposed to prevent ear infections.

i never had one, either. wheter that is because of the rinsing or pure dumb luck, i dunno

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:51 AM  


Would you believe Uncle Ray got swim ear while surfing the Internet? Did you know his nickname in college was J-Ray? Or was that Ray-J? Anyway, he stayed at a fancy hotel once. They even had two toilets, but one kept squirting water up his rear!

By Anonymous billthecatlives, at 6:34 AM  

If you guys are at the hilton there's free wifi in the lobby bar ...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:58 PM  

after swimming in the pool or ocean, drop 4-5 drops of alcohol (rubbing alcohol, not mai tais) in each ear & let it swirl around there for a minute. the alcohol--which is essentially what the over-the-counter solution called "swimmers ear" is made of--dries out any water left in the canal. the mai tais are for the pain.

mahalos accepted.

By Anonymous dgm, at 5:41 PM  

This totally gives me the urge to send you a picture of my boob also!

By Blogger molly, at 6:54 PM  

I can't believe you actually went swimming in the ocean with all the aquatic animal pooh. How brave you've gotten. And yet you won't come over if I don't get rid of all the spiders first...hmmm

Sorry 'bout your ear, that bites. Hope the vicadin helped.

Oh, and I can't wait to see more skin shots of my baby brother.

By Blogger Colleen, at 8:30 PM  

The advise on swimmers ear would have been useful to him - yesterday...Notice the "V" on the Vicodin pills is the same "V" on the MN Vikings football field - discuss.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:46 PM  

Man! I've gotten swimmer's ear, like, a million times and no one ever gave me so much as a Tylenol! WTF.

By Blogger Angela, at 9:01 AM  

nice tan

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:16 AM  

That 'skin' picture looks like a red-headed 14 year old checking out his freshly self-pierced nipple in his parents bathroom. Radical.

By Blogger Elle Marie, at 6:13 PM  

Um, more skin shots please.

By Blogger slaphappyannie, at 10:37 PM  

How come no one ever asks for skin shots from Uncle Ray?

By Anonymous billthecatlives, at 4:47 AM  

OK, actually, will the REAL uncle Ray please stand up!? Boy I sure hope Dan posts some new stuff soon. Damn him for having a life!!!

By Blogger slaphappyannie, at 7:00 AM  

You are dreamy, Dan.

By Blogger RAS, at 3:20 PM  

Oh I feel your pain I got a bad inner ear infection in both my ears a couple of months was pure hell. I hope you feel better.

By Blogger Michelle, at 6:57 PM  

O.K. You've been back for a whole 5 hours. That's enough time to relax from being on vacation. Where are the picks?!?!

By Blogger Colleen, at 7:28 PM  

So many Uncle Ray's, so little time. To add a touch of class, perhaps the real Uncle Ray is Christopher Walken in the movie, "Excess Baggage" [Columbia Tristar, 1999], where he plays a malicious Uncle Ray, weird as ever and with a strange red tint in his hair (like the dye job in Last Man Standing, and a variant on the weird yellow hair he had as the Bond villain in A View To A Kill).

By Anonymous billthecatlives, at 9:20 PM  

ooops I mean 'pics'

By Blogger Colleen, at 7:05 AM  

wait, wait I got this one...Uncle Ray is too busy looking at them for dan to post them. Sorry Billthecat! Move on. The cat's dead. If only you paid as much attention to the cat as Uncle Ray, he may still be here.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:17 AM  

Dan, Dan
He's our man
We want pics
And only he can!

By Anonymous billthecatlives, at 8:20 PM  

We love Dan
He's our hero here
We hunger for his pictures
We feel his fear
We laugh at his jokes
We post good thoughts
We don't know his last name
Fill the rest in with dots...........
Ok I've done better sorry
Uncle Ray Uncle Ray
You are so elusive yes
I imagine you there typing
In your flowered house dress
....Ok forget it

By Blogger slaphappyannie, at 8:47 PM  

why it's dan "the man" miller, of course.

By Blogger callmekidd, at 3:36 PM  

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