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Wednesday, September 28, 2005 :::

A Halloween Tragedy

I was going through some old photographs at my mama's house the other day and I realized that I don't exactly have the most successful record when it comes to dressing up for Halloween. There are some gaps in the history, and I really have to swallow some pride by setting this loose on the internets, but I almost consider it a public service announcement for all you parents out there.

So for your enjoyment and for my public derision, I present:

Planetdan's Halloween History: A Tragedy in 15 Acts

::: posted by dan at 5:45 PM :: [ link ] :: (49) comments Social Bookmark Button

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49 previous comments:

This guy is serious

By Anonymous shawnp, at 3:56 PM  

OMG!! Those pictures are awesome!! And next time leave the Mullet, and call it a Bressant.

By Blogger jeremy, at 4:22 PM  

1988 - at first i thought, "damn! dan makes a pretty hot chick. then i realized it was K-mack and you were the grandma." Damn! K-mack makes a pretty hot chick.

By Anonymous hubs, at 4:42 PM  

Oh man, I've never cried and laughed so hard at one time. So good. The first picture with the black nose is my favorite, and I love the one with the kangaroo in brown brogans. Love that.

By Blogger Elle Marie, at 5:04 PM  

The first year was a gopher. We all had to wear that costume.Originally it had a mask. You were the cutest gopher tho.

By Blogger Colleen, at 5:14 PM  

Dan, bet your Uncle Ray is jealous! Glad you got over your famale impersonator phase, although you did make one hot babe.

By Anonymous billthecatlives, at 6:50 PM  

My favorites are the dracula one and static cling... those made mt laugh so hard i cried... love the denim jacket on the dracula one!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:12 PM  

Oh. My. God. Still laughing. PLEASE post photos of you 'Reigning Purple' this year...

By Blogger zeppgoddess, at 7:30 PM  

I see from last year's photo that the ingenuity of your costumes wasn't the only thing that "developed" over the years. Ssssssssssssssssmokin'!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:14 PM  

Dan, you are definately my hero as of right now.......

By Blogger Carlo, at 8:56 PM  

OMG!!! I sat here laughing so hard, I just about pee'd my pants!! LOL! The photos are awesome, but it was the commentary that totally got to me:) Halloween has always been A BIG DEAL in our family, so I'm gonna pass this one on to my adult(?)kids. They are a demented duo and will love your stuff!

By Anonymous miss kimmers, at 10:18 PM  

Oh. My. Gawd. You are so cute. Mmm hmm hmmmmmmm.

By Blogger slaphappyannie, at 11:09 PM  

Ahhh yes...brought back many similar memories of mom's creative costuming. I vividly remember one halloween when she made me and lil' bro caveman costumes...which consisted of long wigs, some kind of sackcloth tunic thing, and a "club" made of scrunched/rolled up newspaper, taped up, and spraypainted brown. Superb.

By Blogger pierre, at 12:10 AM  

I think the first costume is supposed to be a bear, since it appears to be a bear on your shirt. What a funny way to create a costume -- just stick a picture of what you're supposed to be on your chest. It's better than my first Halloween costume -- I'm wearing antennae, the requisite warm jacket, black tights, and rain boots. I have no idea what my mom was going for.

By Anonymous Zoe, at 12:29 AM  

I had to laugh at the plastic tunic in the first one. They are still making those darn things - only now they have Hello Kitty or some other nonsense on them. And of course, no masks for the little ones anymore - they finally figured out that walking in the dark with something over your eyes was a bad idea.
I actually think the robot WAS quite excellent - especially the candy "deposit". And I will always love the oompaloompa.
Go Dan - Halloween rules.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:15 AM  

Dan you look so happy dressed as a girl.

At least YOUR mom didn't come up with the "brilliant" idea of mixing green food coloring with foundation make-up, and subsequently slathering every exposed part of your body (yes, including your face) with it the year you were a witch.

I had to go to school green for like a week because the tint wouldn't wash off.

Your homemade costumes look so much better than my hideous elementary school creations - the fruit-of-the-loom grapes guy, a sea nymph caught in a net with all kinds of ocean debris hanging all over the place, a unicorn, and an army recruiter in a mini-skirt - don't even ask.

By Blogger stsundown, at 9:39 AM  

Tears are streaming down my face I am laughing so hard...and I love you for not posting my rock star costume...
you and Kris look like sisters when you are in drag...did you notice how much you looked's odd...

By Blogger Stacy, at 9:47 AM  

I love that you're too vain to post the picture of you in full mullet. That's half the fun. This post is awesome. I wish I had enough pictures of me in my pathetic halloween costumes to make a timeline as well. My most pathetic year was probably when I wore my first communion dress and said I was a fairy. No one knew what I was. And I hate how costumes were always ruined by coats! Damn weather.

By Blogger Biglug, at 10:29 AM  

Anyone else notice that K-Mack's '88 wig showed up on Cleopatra's head in '89, complete with the weird gold beads?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:07 AM  

K-mack as Claire Huxtable is my favorite haloween costume ever. She did look pretty "urban" that year.

I thought the same thing Stacy did, you and Kris could be sisters.

By Blogger brent, at 11:19 AM  

Maybe pictures should be taken JUST before the coats go on. I dunno.

By Blogger Kristina, at 11:20 AM  

These are friggin hysterical. Who or what is with you in the Cleopatra picture? I'm scared.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:18 PM  

I almost peed my pants at the clown "wig!"

By Blogger katie, at 12:43 PM  

I'm just impressed that someone else remembered the big inflatable head costumes. There are several pictures of me at the school halloween parade in my little devil costume totally obscured by big green heads.

And one big advantage to Halloween in Southern California, no winter coats. *L* That's just awesome.

By Blogger elcynic, at 12:50 PM  

absolutely priceless. you are the cutest little dracula ever. i can't wait to see what you pull together for this year. I agree, you should have left the mullet on. It would have completed the static cling outfit. Hilarious, oh man....

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:11 PM  

Great history. You have inspired me to do one, although I might not be able to post the worst costume I have ever had to wear - bacon and eggs (courtesy of mom).

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:43 PM  

I demand that you shop the mullet back in! It's what planetdan is all about.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:14 PM  

I too did the robot, but you took it a step further with the Pringle can sleeves. The next year, I used the same box, without the tin foil and just went as a box. I scared the crap out of people, because they'd open the door and there would just be a box sitting on their doorstep, then I'd move a bit to get their attention and make sure that they didn't skimp on the candy.

I also think you look a bit like Bob Hope in the Oompa Loompa pic.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:31 PM  

your oompa loompa was awesome! I fear the plethora of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonkas we'll see this year.

Here's a scary costume (not safe for work):

Scariest thing is that this is my husband and this photo as migrated around the web to an amazing number of sites.

By Blogger vespabelle, at 2:36 PM  

"Giant inflatable head costume"

My mom refused to buy me a Kooky Spook costume too!

By Blogger norts, at 2:44 PM  


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:24 PM  

Oh. My. God. You crack me up!

By Anonymous discoqwene, at 3:32 PM  

Yes, photoshop your mullet back is equal to how they took the twin towers out of movies and photos because they were afraid we would all be photshoping out your hair, you let the terroists win...

By Blogger brent, at 4:46 PM  

Your poor brother. He is just helpless when it comes to photo too sacred or humiliating to be plasterd up for all to see.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:09 PM  

There is an oompa loompa in the last picture? I didn't see one?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:01 PM  

ooh, please, please, we want to see the mullet!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:01 PM  

your costumes are awesome and so what if hindsight is 20-20, you had a great time each year, no? so what's the big deal. All parents should be so liberal-

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:50 PM  

Now those are my kinda tits. Totally rad!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:27 AM  

Was your mom MaryEllen - the helpful hints lady? I love her resourcefulness.... I can't believe no one mentioned the kangaroo outfit in 1977 -- I love that there was a pouch that also served as a candy bag.... ingenious!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:38 PM  

This post is GOLD! I loved it. My favorite one was the repurposing of the cape from dracula and how lame your magician costume must have been. Please find that picture I would love to see it.

By Blogger Adam, at 2:13 AM  

1980 totally reminds me of Max from "Where the Wild Things Are." Just a thought.

And yes, I did notice that the headdress in 1988 migrates over to 1989.

Excellent montage!

By Blogger Dennis!, at 10:35 AM  

I have absolutely no idea who you are and i randomly stumbled on this from a friend's aim profile, but you are hilarious, which is amazing.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:19 PM  

It's okay. I had a mullet in 1990 as well. Don't be ashamed! Embrace it!

By Anonymous Devin, at 11:07 AM  

This is hysterical! OMG! I am cannot stop laughing!!! And I love the ooompa loompa costume! My sister is a big fan of them! Where did you get this costume????

By Blogger Joan, at 7:46 PM  

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Joan, at 7:47 PM  

"KOOKY SPOOK" !!!! I never got one of those blow-up heads as a kid either and haven't been able to think of the name since 1979 !

I picked one up at a yard sale about five years ago but couldn't remember what the hell they were called !


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:31 PM  

What guts! What memories! What potential post traumatic stress! I feel like a bad father, but in a good way. Now, I'm gonna post a montage of my kids and see how long it takes for the Internet to reveal it to them......

By Anonymous Evar Swann, at 7:37 PM  

What are you doing this Halloween? Need a costume? I think this would suit you well

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:48 AM

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 PM  

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