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Wednesday, August 17, 2005 :::

Mac Attack

After reading this article about the recent riot in Virginia over $50 Mac laptops, there was one line that stuck out for me and got me pondering:

...A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday, with people getting thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and nearly driven over. One woman went so far to wet herself rather than surrender her place in line.

I would never even consider wetting myself in public for the opportunity to buy a crappy four-year-old iBook. But I would be happy to wet myself in public for the following:

  • Front row tickets to a Beatles concert, with a resurrected John and George.

  • Unfettered access to this WB party, which was literally bursting with Gilmore Girls. [thanks jeremy]

  • The opportunity to tour as a back-up singer with Sufjan Stevens. C'mon, Feel the Illinoise!

  • A time machine to go back in history to kill Joe Cocker before he has a chance to record that You Can Leave Your Hat On song.

  • To be granted the superpower of invisibility.

  • Any amount of money over $10,000 (which I've recently decided will be the official asking price for my dignity).

  • Just for the sake of doing it.
What would it take to get you to wet yourself in public?

::: posted by dan at 8:09 AM :: [ link ] :: (38) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

38 previous comments:

a hamster, and then a ride on a rollercoaster, and then a 50% off coupon to the Sushi resturaunt.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:22 AM  

Are you kidding? I do it all the time.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:38 AM  

A dare, teasing, or any loud noise. :)

By Anonymous Karis, at 11:58 AM  

So I clicked on Karis' name...big mistake! I feel dirty

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:11 PM  

I've gotta agree on the beatles tickets, the time machine and I'd swap the invisibility for morphing but $10,000? You're dignity is going cheap apparently. I'm personally asking at least $50,000.
And I suppose it would all depend on the where/when factor - like if it's gonna be on TV, the rewards would have to be pretty awesome.

By Anonymous Jay, at 12:19 PM  

shit, you guys must be much more financially stable than me. i'd do it for $100, as long as i got to go home directly afterwards.

By Blogger Gina, at 12:29 PM  

World peace? NO…no wait, I take that back. Free airline tickets!

By Blogger Kristina, at 12:49 PM  

I really want the new coldplay CD,and although I seem to have missed the boat still want the new beck CD.Totally worth peeing a little bit in my pants...I have done it several times before without the incentives.Somehow,the walk into the bathroom tricks me into thinking I can pee before I am actually ready...does that happen to guys?And if it does is it o.k. to disclose on a blog?Or am I really piggy and gross today for thinking you remotely care about any of this?

By Blogger Stacy, at 1:58 PM  

yes,after re reading my comment posted,I am determining I am gross for the details...

By Blogger Stacy, at 1:59 PM  

Somebody must have told the crowd the laptops had those cool pop-out cup holders.

By Blogger ptw, at 2:32 PM  

Oh, wait I get it now you're gay? & I thought that Kristina Chick was your girlfriend

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:53 PM  

All it took for me was an ice storm, seven 7&7's, and a loong walk home at three in the morning. True story. My pants were frozen to my legs. Thank god it was so late out that no one saw what I did to myself.

Uh...until now I suppose.

By Blogger Elle Marie, at 3:06 PM  

I'd do it for a shiny new car, preferably a Mini Cooper

By Blogger Aliecat, at 5:02 PM  

We're not surewhat their doing with them but we are sure that the school district lost a quarter million by not selling them on eBay.

Stupid School District Tricks

By Anonymous Insider, at 5:09 PM  

i think it's hard to will oneself to pee... but i would likely do it for an ipod and $500.

i wonder what fergie did it for...


By Blogger aisy, at 8:00 PM  

Really, all you need to do is have a baby or two and sometimes it just happens when you sneeze. Or laugh. Or cough. Or think about peeing. Like Stacy, I also share too much info.

But I'd probably will myself to do it for a slow dance with Dan. But instead of Angel Eyes, I think I'd like We Are the Champions by Queen.

By Anonymous dani, at 8:34 PM  

Beatles tickets - for sure.

We actually had a kid shit himself in class the other day. 9th grade. The teacher came back into the staffroom at the period's end complaining of the stench - she said someone had farted. We could smell it wafting through the cloisters. Noone was in there the next period, and we could still smell it at the end of the day. Opened the door, and there's two small pieces of shit on the floor.

feral kids.

he didn't win anything, as far as I know.

By Blogger alivicwil, at 1:30 AM  

To make Stacy feel better, I'll tell an embarrassing pee story. I was once busting to pee, pulled my pants down and sat, and started going. Then I realised I hadn't taken my underwear down.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:32 AM  

One thing: A planetdan T-shirt.

By Blogger stapler, at 6:54 AM  

Random note-- did you know that people have found your page by searching for "whacking off", "trying to fit in", and "accidental nudity"? I heart Sitemeter

By Blogger J-Money, at 7:12 AM  

It depends on what I've been drinking. If I've spent the past 4 hours drinking water, then I'd do it for a cute girl's phone number (although I assume that after I've relieved myself, she won't be answering).
If I've been drinking coffee, then nothing short of time travel will do it for me. Coffee pee is fierce.

By Anonymous JCStar, at 11:23 AM  

A date with Dan...dreamy he is.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:05 PM  

ewww, yoda wants to do dan

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:52 PM  

Reunited Smiths tickets, and then, during the following show. Of course I have already offered the god an appendage for that same privlige, so I would be a lopsided pee covered mess. But watching The Smiths live, so it all sorta evens out for me.

By Blogger elcynic, at 7:26 PM  

dancing lessons from the woman in your video blog yesterday!

By Blogger fizzy a.k.a. fifi, at 10:09 PM  

I don't think I could whiz on myself if I wanted to...Too much anxiety. Especially if other people were around.

By Blogger Monkey, at 10:36 AM  

What would it take to get me to wet my pants in public?

A fifth of vodka and a gallon of cranberry juice!

By Blogger platkat, at 4:34 PM  

A friend's sister was stuck in terrible traffic after work, and ended up doing a #2 sitting there behind the wheel, all dressed up in her designer suit. Makes me laugh when I think of it, is that mean?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:09 PM  

Though I haven't decided on a price tag for my dignity...I'd do a lot of humiliating stuff just to get with your wife (assuming she's bi)...she's pretty cute should be careful about posting all those pictures (or have her button a few more buttons)


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:17 PM  

Kmack ain't my wife. She can unbutton as many buttons as she wants and she is encouraged to do so.

By Blogger dan, at 6:52 PM  

If someone will buy my four year old tangerine Mac laptop for $150 I'll wet myself.

It's in excellent shape.

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 12:40 PM  

Apparently, it doesn't take much for Fergie....

By Blogger tcarole, at 11:49 AM  

Hope you weren’t offended Dan. I meant it as a compliment to the person I thought was your wife…that’s what I get for thinking. But I am comforted to know that she is encouraged to unbutton those buttons…that thought will keep me smiling today. Anyway…I didn’t want to be too much of an enigma to you. Basically, I found your website one day at work…and well, I’ve enjoyed the hell out of it. I have turned a bunch of my workmates on to it…and we’ve developed this sort of planetdan subculture. Our motto…quite simply, is that planetdan rocks!

Anyway, Kmack is hot…that was the point, that and I love your site. Peace from California…

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:24 PM  

to Stacy, no you are not gross for sharing the details
I would do it for a mac powerbook with OSX on it

By Blogger tom p, at 9:31 AM  

For the superpower to stop time, all expense paid tickets to Austrailia, or just cause I felt like it.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:08 PM  

Ok, this is a true story. A few years ago Mariah Carey was booked to appear at our local shopping centre (Miranda, Sydney Australia).

My girlfriend Britany and myself, being huge Mariah fans, arrived about an hour early.

We were sitting right in front of the stage and graually this huge crowd filled up behind us. Being very bored waiting, we gradually drank this 1.25 litre bottle of lemonade between us.. and I drank most of it!

It was time for Mariah to show, and I was absolutely busting for a pee, and still she was nowhere to be seen. But I just kept sitting where I was, 'cos I didn't want to miss her.

Finally, about 3/4 of an hour late, she turns up. She did about an 40 minute set, during which the whole time I was so desperate to piddle I had my hand between my legs.

Finally the concert finished and I said to Brit that I was absolutely hangin' for a wee. We got up and bolted for the toilet but of course, all the people behind us had got in ahead of us and the queue for the toilets was so long it came right out into the main part of the mall!

I said to Britany, "I can't wait that long!" So we bolted for the toilets in Grace Bros.. only to find a queue just as long there.

We then rushed to the lifts, at which point I was so desperate I said to Britany "I'm going to wet myself."

Thank God no one was there as I couldn't have waited any longer! There was a potplant by the lift, and while Brit kept a lookout I pulled up my skirt and pulled down my knickers and peed in the pot plant.. the relief was unbeleive-able.. and thank God, just in the nick of time!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:16 AM  

I'm famous amongst my mates for wetting my knickers in public 'cos I'm the only one with the bottle to do it for a dare.
It's worth it for the stunned look on the faces of any people around,and gives us all a right scream! ZOE.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:14 PM  

Stacey (and others):

Yes, it happens to me a lot, thinking the toilet is there when its really my pants and panties...well, 'thinking' is not exactly it, my body just 'knowing'. And there's no controlling it.

I don't know what my price is since its usually for free, so I guess it would be low.

Mostly its just dribbles and a small spurt or two and nobody is the wiser for it, except my panties. But sometimes its much more, and its pretty obvious and embarrassing, and its happened in the damnest places, from a party, to work, to school, at a mall, you name it, and of course at home. My brother used to tease me about wetting my pants all the time.

Give me liquor and, well...forget it, we're not talking spurts, but major wettage, as in totally soaking myself in public (bars, the street, etc). I try to be careful, and usually that works, but sometimes....

OK, I should get paid.....

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:35 AM  

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