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Monday, August 01, 2005 :::

9 to 5

I made myself a T-shirt this weekend featuring the whole clan from 9 to 5. I don't know why, I just did. I get a happy wave of nostalgia every time they play 9 to 5 on the television, so I figured why not make it into a shirt and wear the happy around all day long?

So I wore it out on Saturday night, and I was impressed that my friend Trevor recognized the image from twenty paces away. But that's where the recognition stopped. One person asked if it was "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas". On the way to the bathroom, another random person asked "Hey, is that Klute?" Now, I've never seen Klute but I can bet that Dolly and Dabney aren't in it. Whatever, as long as I know what it is, that's all that matters.

But what I really want to do is buy some cheap colored T's at Target, then create a whole set of absurd T-shirts featuring something ridiculous or pointless, like my big face, and then sneak them back into Target (with the price tags still on), and slip them onto a store rack as if they are regular merchandise. It'd be an interesting social experiment to check back daily to see if they've been purchased or removed, and maybe if I'm really lucky even see one being worn on the street someday. Heck, half the people who purchase those Che Guevara T-shirts don't know who he is anyway, so why can't it be my beeming face instead?

I can't work out how to get the Target hangers I would need for the quick switcharoo, though. Hmmm.

::: posted by dan at 12:38 PM :: [ link ] :: (29) comments Social Bookmark Button

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29 previous comments:

Sometimes they will give you the hangers at Target if you ask nicely. What a hilarious idea!

By Blogger katie, at 1:51 PM  

Sadly, 9 to 5 was one of my favorite movies as a child. Along with Nadine, which no one ever saw. There's a T-shirt for you.

By Anonymous Dollface, at 1:54 PM  

Greetings from Rhode Island, Dan! Longtime reader ... first time commenter (sp.?)

You should consider selling some of your wares on I know I'd buy your stuff and so would your other fans, friends and well-wishers.

By Anonymous Leo, at 2:29 PM  

9 to 5 is one of the best movies EVER! I would buy a shirt!

By Blogger elcynic, at 2:36 PM  

you could sell your shirts right next to the noodly appendage shirt!

By Blogger locomocos, at 3:15 PM  

how do you make your t-shirts? is it just the iron on paper? or do you have somewhere that can produce better quality graphics?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:23 PM  

I second Katie's comment - they will often just give you the hangers. Which Target would you hit?

By Anonymous Sarah, at 3:27 PM  

Hi Dan.
I came across your blog by accident, and I've been engrossed in your world for the past hour or have definitely got one of the best sites I've ever seen...long may you continue! Love the 9-5 T...

By Anonymous pete, at 3:58 PM  

What would really be funny is if you got caught trying to put the merchadise back on the rack. What would you call the opposite of shoplifting?
I also (heart) 9 to 5.

By Blogger omo@the rock, at 4:33 PM  

Yeah, I tried to think of any legal consequences of said scheme, but what could they possibly charge me with? Target, after all, would be making DOUBLE the money on any shirts that actually sold, since I would have already bought them once. Hmmm.

By Blogger dan, at 4:38 PM  

Oh, and I just use the crappy HP Iron on Transfers that you can buy at the computer store, but they honestly have come a long way in quality, as I've washed my shirts plenty of times and they never peel or fade or nothing.

But then none of the shirts I've made were actually built for heavy use. And I have no interest in selling them, so the quality doesn't necessarily need to be that great.

By Blogger dan, at 4:42 PM  

Seriously, I want that shirt. I also want one of Drop Dead Fred and Big Business. Especially Big Business. I would want it to be of the scene where she comes out from behind the mirrors dancing. YES!

By Anonymous duane, at 6:15 PM  

What the? Klute?! Jane Fonda plays a hooker with a shag haircut and high heeled fuck me boots in Klute, not a career gal with bow front office blouses and owl glasses! God dang!

By Blogger Elle Marie, at 6:51 PM  

Buy them, leave the tags on, iron on the image, and return them. Do you really think the target return folks will notice the difference? Go for it!! And then publish your results in a scholarly paper so that you can travel the world and invade OTHER targets!!

By Anonymous Cath, at 10:30 PM  

"I thought it was Skinny N Sweet!" Violet is awesome.

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 10:49 PM  

I don't want to be a party pooper, because the shirts are cool and I appreciae my yearly free one...but making t-shirts is the equivalent of scrapbooking in the design world. Everyone does it and it is borderline craft fair. There are hundreds of sites that feature one-of-a-kind designs and one site allows people to vote on it and the one with the most votes gets sold. Plus, when Ryan Seacrest and Paris Hilton start jumping in on a craze, it might be time to cool it for a while. And isn't the fun of it making something no one else has and that you thought of. Kind of takes the uniquness out of it if everyone has one.

Klute is an awesome movie, just because I like the name, her outfits and hairdo. I really don't remember much else about it. I've always loved the cover/poster to Big Business. It's a classic.

Lastly, I wouldn't try that Target thing because if you got caught it's probably considered fraud not shoplifting. Who knows, they put little kids in jail for less. You could just make a shopping cart on your site and allow people to buy planetdan merch like every other chain restaurant and store on the planet.

By Blogger brent, at 11:05 PM  

well, brent's a party pooper today, isn't he?

I dunno that it's fraud if you PAY for shirts, then sneak them back in, and they RE-SELL them.
Only if you get a refund for returning them.

And yeah, there are hundred of places that make t-shirts, but so what? Always room for another in any over-crowded market. Trust me - I teach Business Studies to High School students! ;p

By Blogger alivicwil, at 12:59 AM  

Another idea: buy the shirts, make them "dan-cy" (instead of fancy) and return them to the actual customer service counter!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:20 AM  

OMG, that is so great. If you were in New York you could see it on the big screen this Thursday night at Chelsea Cinemas.

By Blogger Bewareoftheblog, at 1:33 PM  


I'm in Canada so I don't know what Target is, but i'm assuming if they have shirts, they would have change rooms? Just do the old switcheroo in there, put your shirts on the hangers and leave the original shirts in the change room (the ones you brought in to try on).

By Blogger fizzy a.k.a. fifi, at 3:12 PM  

Geez, Brent's a killjoy.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:52 PM  

This reminds me of Mitch Hedberg (rip) trying to get his comedy CD into Strawberries, by bringing a copy in and telling them to alphabetize it.......

Grumpy Brent rants aside, I think Leo's (fellow Rhode Islander, I see) cafepress idea is pretty great. I personally know several people who would love a Dan Miller original. And if you're not interested in the income, you could donate any of the money you make to a worthy cause, like the Campaign to Bring 9 to 5 to DVD.

By Blogger Angela, at 4:03 PM  

9 to 5 is on DVD! I actually scanned the picture for this T-shirt from the DVD's cover.

By Blogger dan, at 4:07 PM  

Jeez, sorry I was grumpy. I guess everyone on planetdan is all sunshine and buttercups all the time, 24/7 - bitches.

I realize I was a tad harsh, but I still stand by my Target warning. I have a feeling they wouldn't take to kindly to anyone messing up their men's fashion assortment.

By Blogger brent, at 4:57 PM  

1) there is a good chance the service desk WONT notice that the shirts are different. service desks have been known to take back old navy, gap, and YES even WALMART merchandise. this is industry wide. i would imagine that stuff that comes packaged would look more out of place in a hanger (like packaged fruit of the loom - on a hanger).

2) an even less...intrusive, shall we say - method would be to just leave the shirts in a pile on the fitting room floor. if they put them on hangers and tag them, that's their deal.

3) keep in mind that every square inch of every target store except the actual bahtroom and the actual fitting room stalls are on camera. all of this footage is recorded and saved. and yeah, they can piece together what happens in the fitting room w/o having cameras in there. i'm guessing there are discount retailers around with looser security.

so yeah, which target would you hit up?

By Anonymous diana, at 9:21 PM  

Can we start putting requests in?

By Blogger stapler, at 10:12 AM  

i'd totally wear your face on a t-shirt. Make it!

By Blogger jamesdamian, at 1:27 PM  

Duane, you're officially my favorite person of the day. I thought I was the only one left who not only remembers Drop Dead Fred, but likes it. (But then I think I'm one of only 3 people who actually have a thing for Rik Mayall)
"Dishes. Relationships. Wind. This guy breaks everything."

By Anonymous Moira, at 5:44 PM  

Haha, you seem to have a thing for the 70's.. You actually crossed my mind the other day while I was at a Boney M concert(not sure if they ever got famous in the US, but they're a disco band).

By Blogger Roba, at 8:20 PM  

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