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Monday, January 10, 2005 :::

Going to the bathroom, Deutschland style.

A couple years ago when K-Mack and I visited Germany, we were both caught off guard by their creepy toiletry. The basin of their toilets had a weird dry shelf that you couldn't avoid pooping on. I think K-Mack was even moved enough to journal about it. This is a cross-section of a German toilet, so you can see how it could easily be considered the opposite of user-friendly:

Anyway, this image comes from a site that describes the German toilet in detail, with just as much skepticism as I had, and even goes as far as to theorize that Germans are a more healthy people, who therefore like to examine their own feces, for purely health-related reasons. Hence, the shelf merely facilitates the examination.

Man. Germans. What will they think of next.

::: posted by dan at 11:09 PM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments Social Bookmark Button

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12 previous comments:

I think it's to stop the water bouncing back and chilling your bumhole!

But they haven't thought about just dropping a couple sheets of TP in the bowl before unleashing the fury! Oh well, that's ze Germans for you!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:25 AM  

Ah yes - the poop shelf. Or as the Germans fondly refer to it - der Scheiss Fach.

By Blogger Robert, at 7:30 AM  

It actually is there for health reasons! As it was explained to me by an Austrian (practically a German!) the typical german diet is rather meat-heavy, and in the "olden days" PARASITES were a big concern! Even grosser - in most bathrooms you will still find a dull knife (that looks like a cheese spreader) that was used to, um...facilitate the search for said parasites.

Pass the bratwurst, mein Herr.

By Blogger Angela, at 8:28 AM  

Oh this is wrong on so many levels for us females since many of us suffer from "bashful-bowel syndrome" wherein we find it, um, a little embarrassing to use a public restroom for "those" moments. My girlfriend nearly had a stroke last week at work when she left a little reminder on the bowl that she was there and -no lie- purchased a tampon from the wall - extended it as far as it would go and proceeded to remove the offensive "markings". She has since resolved to hold it come hell or high toilet water. Recovery has been slow.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:53 AM  

Holy crap on a platform, Herr Batman!

By Blogger Jake, at 10:52 AM  

Do you and K-Mack knock boots or what? Just a locker room question for you since she is referenced with great frequency.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:46 PM  

"Knocking boots"? Hmmm. No, there's no knocking boots going on there. Nor are we "bumping uglies", "hitting skins", or "making the beast with two backs".

By the way, she's on the market, if there's any takers out there.

By Blogger dan, at 4:59 PM  

Wait a minute! I thought Planetdan was married(?)and I 've been coming to this site for months.

By Blogger Anonymous, at 5:14 PM  

I prefer the new-fangled Japanese toilets myself, they actually wash and dry your bottom for you, with nice warm water and air (adjust temp to your personal preference). A pink button for girls and a blue boy button puts the water in the correct spot (glad I didn't have to do the research on that one). Then you've got the traditional Japanese toilet, a real challenge to the average couch-potato westerner, as a deep kneebend is needed while simultaneously keeping your clothing from touching the floor. See this link for the proper instructions on using it...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:39 PM  

What's worse, the German toilets which I've seen, or the "toilets" I saw in Kuwait that consisted of a hole in the floor with a ceramic base you squat on? There was a small hose next to it to wash your hand off with once you were done wiping.Yes, wash your hand for they don't use TP in that stall. Luckily, I never had to use it, there were other normal toilets in the same bathroom. Then there was the urinal wall I saw at the airport in Ireland. It was this green marble looking wall with water flowing over it. I'd say it had to be thirty feet long by five feet high. I think that's enough bathroom stories for now.

By Blogger stapler, at 6:54 PM  

Hmmm...I don't remember the baffrooms in England & Scotland...they must be "normal" like ours. The new Japanese toilets kind of sound like a bedet (sp?).

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 10:06 AM  

Why aren't you knocking boots? I'd be all over that.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:26 PM  

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