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Thursday, September 23, 2004 :::

Minor Indiscretions

I wasn't drunk at the work party last night. Not even close. I had maybe four beers in the course of five hours. But now that I look back on my behavior during the evening, certain akward phrases and some obnoxious utterances stick out. For instance, I remember at one point practically shouting "No! Girls have hoo-has and boys have ding-dongs." Which I know is pretty low on the scale of embarassing vulgarities, but its tackiness is still making me wince a little this morning. Even more perplexing is how this phrase somehow came out of a debate regarding which Dukes of Hazzard brother was portrayed by Tom Wopat.

Oh well. I'm no stranger to making a fool of myself. I just get over-excited being around so many people. Much worse things have happened at work parties, so I should just be grateful.

::: posted by dan at 9:35 AM :: [ link ] :: (19) comments Social Bookmark Button

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19 previous comments:

First question:
What type of work do you do?

I find that different office enviroments are more forgiving of indiscretions that others.
Funeral Directors -party animals
Lawyers - nuts
Bankers - know how to let their hair down and party hardy

Second question:
Were there people there more drunk than you?

If the answer is yes, than they were too drunk to remember today what happened yesterday OR they were more vulgar and laud than you were - and in that case no one noticed your "hoo-has and ding-dong" comment.


By Blogger TasselledAce, at 11:32 AM  

i remember when at one office party were there were several women trying to fondle me because of some rumor that was spread.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:16 PM  

At the very least you weren't the girl in the bathroom cring, I think she comes standard with office parties. You know used to go to junior high with her, she was the one crying at all the dances.

By Blogger Kristina, at 1:29 PM, that's crying, crying in the bathroom.

By Blogger Kristina, at 1:39 PM  

Daniel, no worries. That's absolutely nothing in my book.

By Blogger hot babe, at 1:47 PM  

ladies contain yourselves when drinking around anonymous.

By Blogger ceclipse26, at 2:17 PM  

hey they dont call me randy johnson for nothing

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:24 PM  

It could be worse, there could be photos. There are photos out there of me...damn tequila.

By Blogger amy leigh, at 3:25 PM  

I'd say my worst was at the first company Xmas party. My co-worker and I tried to swing dance to most songs...we were called Fred & Ginger the whole next week.
Also, read some of the comments on the link you posted. What does "snogging" mean?! I think making an 8th grader. Those cooky Brits...

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 3:53 PM  

I was privy to a management level memo that circulated prior to a holiday party detailing what was and wasn't appropriate manager behavior.

Item 1 - accepting lap dances from subordinates.

This has to be stated? People have to be told?

By Blogger LA, at 4:19 PM  

I should clarify. Accepting lap dances from subordinates was listed as inappropriate behavior. You'd think that was evident, but as they put it in a memo, clearly it was not.

By Blogger LA, at 4:46 PM  

What happened to the senior pictures? they were hilarious. Can you put them back up?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:04 PM  

Sometimes when we drink
We often fail to think
But, minor indiscretions
Are better than vomiting
In the bathroom sink
Or, the toilet for that matter

What matters, Dan, is that you had a good time.
And, it sounds like you had a good time.
Tis better to drink and be foolish than to do nothing at all.

Have you ever noticed the subliminal images on most Coke vending machines? The vending machines with the Coke can and ice have several subliminal images. Take a good look and you'll know what I'm talking about.

By Blogger Malden, at 5:33 PM  

Company parties: Will never ever attend another one. If I don't make an ass of myself, I'm embarrassed for the rest of the office personel who do.Especially that girl who loves to swing from anything hanging from the ceiling and wrap her hoo-has around any male's face that's available.

Tom Wopat: Luke Duke- My personal favorite

Senior picts: Wanna know what happened to them? Visit But be warned I'm mad and I swear. You will get mad and find yourself screaming "What a bunch of ding-dongs and hoo-has!"

By Blogger Colleen, at 6:08 PM  

Remember one thing my friend, those who judge live boring lives and deep down, they are tragically jealous! Take it from me, everyone always hates the life of the party.

By Blogger SeattleCityGirl, at 6:50 PM  

Nicely put and well recieved Seattle. I'm still very angry though. Dan is so calm. I just want to pull my big sister card and go kick the shit out of these people.

By Blogger Colleen, at 8:58 PM  

Snogging is definitely cooky brit slang for kissing, as I've learning from watching The Office on BBC. I've definitely had worse drunk embarassing moments than last night, but the sad thing is that I wasn't drunk.

By Blogger dan, at 11:20 PM  

And if you can't accept lap dances from subordinates, then how about a superior?

By Blogger dan, at 11:21 PM  

While it's surprising that managers need to be told about the lap dance thing, I'm more surprised that anyone needed to be told about the difference between girls and boys... but hey, I don't know where you work. :-)

And to tie this post with one from a few days ago... did you know that on the Gilmore Girls set, the exterior of Lorelai and Rory's house is the same one they used for Uncle Jesse's house on the Dukes of Hazzard? At least, that's what it says in IMDB.

Wow, now that I think of it, Amy Sherman-Palladino must have a real thing for the Dukes. Think about it:

Lorelai's house = Uncle Jesse's house
Daisy drove a Jeep, wore revealing outfits, and often looked like she'd left the house without washing her hair - Lorelai ditto
In both shows, Luke is the strong silent type, preferred by many discriminating viewers over the smooth, brash one (or ONES, in the case of GG)

The signs are there, my friend. And now you've got something with even MORE potential for embarrassment than hoo-has and ding-dongs to bring up at the next office party!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:26 AM  

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