planetdan

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 :::

OMG SUPER DRAMA, LAKE SUPERIOR STYLE!

While sitting on our luxurious ocean-view deck on Lake Superior this weekend, I kept hearing the desperate squeal of an obnoxious sounding woman:

"Willy! WILLY! WILLY! WILLY?!??!?!?? OHMIGOD WILLY??!!!!?"

I thought some god-forsaken child was dying-slash-drowning, but it turns out some super-smart-slash-super-stupid mutt named Willy was trying to escape its obnoxious owner, and was willing to swim to Canada if that's what it took.

Seriously, the dog was pretty far out into the raging sea, and it didn't seem to care two whits about the crowd on the shore who kept screaming its name. Nor was it interested in the boat that came to save it from certain death by drowning.

I was certain is was going to drown and ruin my weekend, as things are want to do, but it just kept on swimming, like Dori from Finding Nemo or Forrest Gump sans leg braces. Either way, I figured it probably had plans of living wild in Canada, away from certain political atmospheres and owners in awful sport-bra ensembles. It probably was desperate for release, remembering all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while it could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way... to the EFF-BEE-IIII.

Okay, that was a non-sequitur digression that will probably not be properly appreciated, but I can tell you that the drama on the shore of Lake Superior this weekend was fully appreciated by everyone. Except for Willy, who after being rescued by a not-so-inspiring boat, was only eager to get back in the water and make another break for it.

Unfortunately, he was eventually thwarted from his escape attempt by his shrill owner. Free Willy, indeed.

In honor of the attempt, I present to you: Little Willy as lip-synced by the original band, who were fashion forward enough to don your mother's hairdo and crocheted sweater-vest ensemble decades before she was.

::: posted by dan at 6:49 PM :: [ link ] :: (2) comments

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2 previous comments:

Fly, fly, little Starling. Fly, fly.

By

Anonymous, at 12:25 PM

Its not an ocean view deck if its attched to a house that overlooks a lake.

By

Michael, at 8:59 PM

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