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Wednesday, February 25, 2009 :::

A Turning Point

I mostly work from home. I have a lot of client meetings during the week but there are often long stretches of consecutive days where I just don't have any need to leave the house. Generally on these days, I wake up and begin working immediately. It will be a couple hours before I bother to eat breakfast. A shower is rarely taken prior to 5pm. I'm lucky if I even remember to brush my teeth at all. From an outside perspective, it's probably pretty grody.

I've been telling myself for months - nay, years - that I should recreate my morning routine to start with a cleansing shower and a typical prep schedule. Because honestly - even though I clean myself up good and proper every early evening - if anyone were to stop by my place unannounced during the day they would be appalled at my personal hygiene. For some reason unfortunately, I've never had the motivation to change my wicked ways.

But today I think I've had a breakthrough, by way of General Mills. I happened to catch a glimpse of myself when passing by a mirror this afternoon and noticed a dark blotch on my neck. It was too big to be a spider, so I was able to avoid any momentary panic, but when I looked closer I realized it was a Golden Graham.

A good six hours earlier, I had indeed eaten a bowl of Golden Grahams for breakfast, and apparently a soggy one had slid down my cheek to rest on my neck. I don't remember attacking my bowl of cereal like the Swedish Chef or the Cookie Monster, but somehow I had been sloppy enough to lose track of a graham or two. And by at this point in the afternoon the lone Golden Graham had dried and formed a sugary bond with my skin:

I studied myself in the mirror: unwashed, unshaven, uncombed, wearing yesterday's clothes and this morning's breakfast. I realized that I had sunk way below my own minimum standards for personal upkeep.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't make one of my typical runs to the bank or to pick up lunch before taking the time to actually look in a mirror ferchrissakes. So tomorrow I turn over a new leaf. Before I begin work in the morning I will shower, put on fresh undies, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth like a normal person.

Or perhaps in light of today's events I should save the shower until after breakfast.

::: posted by dan at 5:42 PM :: [ link ] :: (14) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

14 previous comments:

AAAAAHAHAHAHA! Did you eat your cereal laying down in bed?! Without a spoon?

I like your tacks.

By Blogger Katebits, at 6:28 PM  

Haha wow! thats good stuff! you by far have the best blog ever.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:13 AM  

Thank you thank you for the middle of the night can't sleep pick-me-up. Laughing tears rolling down face now.

I second the likey of the pin pattern.

By Anonymous Amy D., at 1:41 AM  

unshaven, unwashed, uncombed.


plus a snack.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:55 AM  

Well, did you turn over a new leaf this morning?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:55 AM  

No. :(

Tomorrow, though! I'm sure of it!

By Blogger dan, at 12:43 PM  

status update, please. clean? covered in granola?

By Blogger Radha, at 10:19 AM  

Wow... only Dan would admit and give us examples of this.

I still love you, unshaven and sticky.

By Anonymous sarah, at 10:21 AM  

What if it had been a spider?!

By Blogger me, at 8:58 AM  

Dan, your level of WIN far exceeds that of most mortals. You so rawk.

By Blogger Patent Absurdist, at 3:21 PM  

You are hysterical. I hate to admit this, but I have been off work from my regular job for over a month now, and frequently experience the same thing as you...I am a freelance writer on the side and when I get up in the morning, before any other activity, I go straight to my computer. The only problem, I usually stay there most of the day without combing my hair, dressing, eating, brushing my teeth or doing anything hygeinic for myself what-so-ever. My husband must think I am a slob. But, I am so glad that this behavior is experienced by someone else. I thought I was the only one. So, congratulations, and never change your ways, as you are marvelous just the way you are!

By Anonymous Deborah L., at 3:29 PM  

hmmm... I'm guessing you don't have kids, do you?? it'd be tough to manage the early-morning routine plus bus stop without actually putting clothes on...!


By Blogger Lisa Jo Rudy, at 4:19 PM  

I love full circle blog posts...

I had a maple/brown sugar life stuck to my robe the other day... I was thinking if that happened every morning by months end I could skip the trip downstairs and just eat breakfast off my robe...

By Blogger Stacy, at 12:42 PM  

I have to admit that I recently ruined a bedroom slipper at the gas station. I wore them to drive my son to school, then realized I was about to run out of gas. Fortunately, I'd put on sweats that morning instead of pajama bottoms.

I vaguely remember that I used to shower first thing in the morning. Seems downright weird now.

By Blogger Adrienne, at 5:29 PM  

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