Wednesday, December 10, 2008 :::
I was at the mall doing a little xmas shopping last weekend when I noticed a man trying on some cashmere in the middle of the sweater department at Macy's. Apparently it was too much trouble to find a fitting room. Normally, I wouldn't complain, simply because I've done the same thing myself on occasion. Except I'm a little more discreet and a lot less obese. Fortunately he had a T-shirt on underneath, but unfortunately it got caught up in the ensuing struggle to remove the outerwear and it was subsequently lifted up to chin level, revealing his pasty white Santa-sized belly and hairy man boobs to the entire shopping crowd.
To make matters worse he seemed to get momentarily stuck and he tried to shimmy his way out of the situation. Initially I was caught off guard by the whole scene, as it was something that would normally happen to me and not to others. But eventually I came to my senses, and so it was a race with the clock as I frantically patted down my own pockets in a panicked search of my camera phone. I lost that race when the man's wife swooped in to manually lower his T-shirt to a respectable level. Little did either of them know that he was a mere moment away from Internet stardom. Sigh. You can't win 'em all.
To apologize for missing out on such an awesome opportunity, I will post this ass-crack picture instead. I didn't take this picture and it's not nearly the same caliber as what I personally witnessed, but it will have to do:
And here is a helpful graph:
::: posted by dan at 7:56 AM :: [ link ] :: (4) comments
4 previous comments:
you need to stop backdating your posts, and start actually posting things during the week.
By , at 1:48 PM
This post has been removed by the author.
By Stacy, at 9:36 AM
...the man was later arrested on felony crack possession charges.
Holy crap is your blog funny, man!
By Patent Absurdist, at 7:31 PM
His bohonkus is as big as her entire torso. Wow.
By Princess Sparkle Pants, at 10:09 AM
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A Kickass Xmas 2008
Animated Friday (Actually, It's Thursday Edition)!...
Juicy Turkey! Sumptuous Ham!
Animated Friday (My Favorite Things Edition)!
The Planetdan Oompa Trance Dance
CSI: The Experience
Animated Friday (When Animals Attack Edition)!
A Brush with Death
beware of the blog
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and far away
the big lug
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