Tuesday, January 08, 2008 :::
Add me to the list of the millions of people who went to the gym for the first time in months this week, united in our common New Year's Resolution to quit being lumpy fatsos. I kind of soured on the gym after it gave me mono, stole my pants, and humiliated me in every possible way. But I figured that real results are achieved through pain and sacrifice, so it's back to the Bally's I go.
This time I was humiliated by my own arrogance and susceptibility to flattery. It happened after I had just completed my jog on the treadmill. Sweaty and panting, I was straining hard while stretching on a mat when a Bally's Trainer approached me and said:
"People are going to think you're a Trainer!"
I was immediately flattered. Clearly I didn't look as flabby as I thought I did. The Bally's Trainer obviously could see the enthusiasm and effort I was putting into my workout. I must be looking good. I could barely hold back a proud smile. I practically screamed "Thanks!" and continued on with my workout, only now I stood a little bit taller.
A while later, during my cool down, I caught a glimpse of myself while passing a mirror and realized that my red T-shirt and black wind pants were a direct match for the Bally's Trainer uniform. Rather than being impressed with my physique and workout stamina, the Trainer was actually just making a remark about my outfit, and how it so closely resembled his own. Suddenly, my ethusiastic reply of "Thanks!" seemed entirely inappropriate, and downright awkward.
I should have known better. You don't wear a red sweater to Target, and you don't wear the Bally's brand colors at the gym.
I hate the gym.
::: posted by dan at 11:43 AM :: [ link ] :: (7) comments
7 previous comments:
I always have the weirdest urge to go to Target when I wear my red t-shirt and my khakis. And boy do I pay for it.
By Raechelle, at 11:29 AM
That's why I never go to the gym. There are two main issues I have with the gym, obviously the first one is "exercise", and the second one is "public exercise". Hopefully those are things that will never happen in my life. Anyway, great story, and great picture, I was laughing out loud, at work, in a silent office with other people, which was quite embarrissing.
By Joshua, at 11:54 AM
dan, you have the best adventures. Seriously.
By duanemoody.com, at 1:44 PM
That stung Dan. I almost wept when told us about your realization.
By , at 2:41 PM
I went to the gym today & saw a guy shaving his ass in the shower. It one thing to shave you face/chest/arms (the gym houses the largest in California) but your ass? dude do that at home. This guy was a bit old to be training for the olympics
By , at 11:10 PM
That should be the gym houses the largest natatorium in California
By , at 11:12 PM
Oh no! Yet another proof that you need a home gym.
By Richard, at 7:53 AM
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