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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 :::

Mad Skillz

I am awesome. My friend Homer-J just got a brand new job, and they took his picture at orientation. Another friend who happens to work at the same company saw it on their intranet and forwarded it to me. As a stupid joke, I photoshopped an open fly with a protruding shirt onto the front of his trousers, and emailed it back to Homer-J with the following message:

How embarrassing for you on your first day!
Did you walk around like that the whole time????

Apparently my photoshopping skills are completely awesome and utterly convincing, because upon receiving the picture, Homer-J panicked and called his brand new HR department to inform them of the embarrassing picture they were posting to the intranet, and then proceeded to have a confusing conversation with them about whether or not his barn door was open. It took a few minutes before it occurred to Homer-J to doublecheck the actual image on the intranet and realize he'd been hoodwinked. It may be an almost cruelly embarrassing thing to happen to a guy on his first week at a new job, but I am more proud of inciting this confusion than of anything I've done so far in 2006. I rule. Yay for being the cause of embarrassing mayhem.

::: posted by dan at 5:36 PM :: [ link ] :: (30) comments Social Bookmark Button

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30 previous comments:

You are pure evil Dan. Poor Homer J.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:39 PM  

Dude. Well done.

By Blogger The Bourbon Samurai, at 4:53 PM  

I just laughed for 10 minutes straight. You are so hysterical - plus an awesome photoshopper! Thank you Dan, everyday you make me laugh

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:54 PM  

To quote Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, "I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... *awesome*!"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:59 PM  

So funny, but I hope I'm never in the position to have you do this to me.

By Blogger Laura, at 5:29 PM  

He looks like he's about to be attacked by faceless corporate zombies.

You are a bad man Dan.

By Blogger Lubin, at 5:32 PM  

H-I-larious! One of the best things I've seen all day.

By Blogger Michelle, at 7:25 PM  

A coworker of mine did a similar thing with a photo that was supposed to go in our gay-ass company newsletter...he made everyone in the photo have fucked up googly-eyes. I literally fell on the floor and hyperventilated when I saw it. Brilliant. But your is more real and more subtle. Almost made me pee my pants. Almost...

By Blogger Karla May, at 9:33 PM  

You make me laugh every time I visit...but kinda glad we're not friends. But it's pretty darn funny!

By Blogger Kimmy, at 9:37 PM  

you could have been really extreme and made him wear tighty whities with a little yellow pee stain showing can use that idea for another friend.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:11 PM  

ironically, all the photos of my brother from my WEDDING have him with his shirt sticking out of his fly. no joke.see??

great photoshop job though, dan. rock it.

By Blogger Honey Bunny, at 7:31 AM  

Dude - you are my new favorite blog.

I love it when jokes like yours goes so well.

Long after Homer-J is gone from his job, the HR people will continue to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:03 AM  

Planet Dan...seriously. HILARIOUS.

By Blogger RAS, at 9:42 AM  

That is hys-freakin-stare-ical! Oh he has a new label in HR - I can only imagine what it is. See, I am so evil, I would totally get the mutual friend at the company to bring someone from HR around to casually 'bump' into Homer somewhere, introduce them, and then have the HR person 'recognize' him - crotch check him - give him a 'knowing smirk' and then just walk away. That way Homer would continue to feel the pain that only PlanetDan skillz can perpetrate.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:39 AM  

freakin' AWESOME! Dan you are my role model..

Beware the Photoshop!!!

By Blogger pixelala, at 11:26 AM  


By Blogger Elle Marie, at 11:42 AM  

Poor Homer, but he is a CUTIE!

By Blogger Spider, at 12:53 PM  

I work for that same company and that is hilarious. I hope he works in the same building as I do so, when I see him I can tell him that he should have zipped up his pants before thaking that picture.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:26 PM  

Now I have a new level of cruel absurdity to aspire to.

By Blogger elizabeth, at 4:36 PM  

You doubt. Bravo.

By Blogger Elle, at 7:27 PM  

Awesome job.

Let us know how he gets you back.


By Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings, at 7:43 PM  

Teach me Evil-1-Kanobi! Your skillz are indeed MAD!

By Blogger alliekazam, at 10:16 AM  

Dan - get Homer to weigh in. I"d love to hear from him.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:04 AM  

Good God, I needed that laugh! Hahaha! Didn't it scare you a bit to know it was that easy? Maybe you are getting too good at your craft?... At any rate, keep it coming!

By Blogger AmyD, at 12:31 PM  

That is quite hilarious. I LOLLED heartily!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:45 AM  

cruel, so cruel. and yet, so brilliantly funny. is this guy still your friend? were you the kid who stuck "kick me" post-its to the fat kid's back and giggled as, unknowingly, he walked down the school halls?

By Anonymous lola, at 3:43 PM  

I laughed, I cried, I hurled. 42 stars!!!

By Blogger minijonb, at 11:42 AM  

` That whole post actually made my pants even more humid than usual.

` Um.

` ...Never mind.

By Blogger S E E Quine, at 12:56 AM  

fuck all that. who is the girl with the big tits in front? Can i get her number?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:57 PM  

Is anyone else reminded by the blurred out faces of the masks those kids wore in 'The Wall'?

By Blogger Liz, at 5:03 PM  

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