planetdan

Sunday, January 18, 2004 :::

Dirty Country

I'll say. My coworker's brother-in-law's friend is an aspiring filmmaker who is making a documentary about an old country singer who's got his mind in the gutter, to say the least. Anyway, you can go to his website to hear a sound clip and watch the trailer. You can even dontate money to aid in the production of the movie, which would make you thisclose to being a porno movie producer. Make sure you watch the trailer to hear a lot of his music - but not at work.

Check it out: Dirty Country Movie

::: posted by dan at 7:59 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Thursday, January 15, 2004 :::

Top Five Wacky Warning Labels

According to M-LAW, a group that lobbies against lawsuit abuse:

On a bottle of drain cleaner:
"If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

On a snow sled:
"Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

On a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact disks:
"Do not use as a ladder."

On a five-inch fishing lure which sports three steel hooks:
"Harmful if swallowed."

On a smoke detector:
"Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire."

Past winners are here.

::: posted by dan at 1:08 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Friday, January 09, 2004 :::

It's like a poor episode of CSI

So now there is speculation that Elliott Smith was murdered by his girlfriend. Sounds a little too much like urban folklore to me, but the Smoking Gun has the police report and the autopsy results, which have some pretty interesting details. If you are morbid you should read it.

Also, the B-side to his last single is awesome. It's only available on vinyl, so the MP3 of it is rather poor, but here it is anyway, for anyone who wants to hear it (right-click to download):

A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to Be Free

::: posted by dan at 12:42 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Thursday, January 08, 2004 :::

Was it a miracle or just a sign that god hates you?

Mel Gibson is making that Jesus movie, where apparently being struck by lightning is considered more of a righteous miracle than it is a bad thing. This is Gibson's spin on the whole being-struck-by-lightning issue, from MSNBC:

... Gibson as well as other people involved in the film The Passion of Christ, are convinced that miracles have occurred on the set. Two workers were reportedly struck by lightning and survived and Gibson has told people that people’s illnesses have mysteriously healed and losses of hearing and eyesight were reversed. Gibson’s rep wasn’t available for comment.

Turns out, it was the actor who pays Jesus that was struck! Hmmmm. Now, maybe I'm a cynic, but I think I would take that as a BAD sign from god:

Jim Caviezel, who stars as Jesus in Mel Gibson’s “Passion,” was struck by lightning during the filming. Assistant director Jan Michelini was also hit – for the second time during the shoot. A worker on the set told Variety: “I’m about a hundred feet away from them when I glance over and see smoke coming out of Caviezel’s ears.”

It's all how you spin it, I guess.

::: posted by dan at 9:34 AM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Wednesday, January 07, 2004 :::

Water Buffaloes? Seriously?

Gives the doggies something else to lick, I suppose. From Wired:

Some pet owners are wracked with feelings of guilt and, apparently, inadequacy after having Fido neutered. But plastic surgery has gone to the dogs -- or come to their owners' rescue. Gregg Miller spent more than two years and $500,000 to develop "neuticles," polypropylene or silicon implantable balls that allow precious pooches to look the same after being castrated. Some owners are even going for a more well-endowed look, ordering neuticles that are too big for the dog. Miller's business is so popular that he is being asked to provide implants for other animals -- including water buffaloes and rats. "If I lost mine, I would want them to be replaced with the implants," said Miller. "It's a male thing."

And here are a couple quotes from satisfied customers:

"Baby Snow has all the benefits of being neutered-Neuticles are just a whole lot nicer."
Stephen Samual
Redcliff, KY

"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane
Oak Park, Ill

Somehow, I bet Crooked Joe knows he's missing something. And with a name like Baby Snow, what good are balls anyway?

::: posted by dan at 4:16 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Ok, you've had your fun, now give me my eggs back.

No wonder she's got such a bad public image.

From MSNBC:
With all the woes Martha Stewart is facing, an Easter egg hunt has come back to haunt her. A new special edition of National Geographic carries a photo of a lavish egg hunt at Stewart’s Connecticut estate a decade ago. The photo is called “Ominous Bunny” because the person Stewart brought in to dress up as a bunny scared the egg-hunting children. “Martha presided over the entire affair, barking instructions,” photographer Joel Sartore notes in the mag . “I was more than a little scared of her. At the end of the day, the kids had to give some of the prettiest eggs back so Martha could decorate her house with them. It really bummed them out.”

I love imagining her running around yanking delicate painted eggs out of crying children's Easter baskets. Awesome.

::: posted by dan at 10:12 AM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

Monday, January 05, 2004 :::

Boy Gets Stuck in Stuffed Animal Game Machine

I'm actually impressed the kid made it all the way in there. I bet he thought he'd died and gone to kid heaven.

You can read about his harrowing adventure.

Update: pictures of the kid.

::: posted by dan at 4:20 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

The Wedding Singer

Wedding singers rule. Debra Lee and her band, Loose Change, dominated the Twin Cities wedding scene in the 90's. Or so says her website anyway.

Check out some of her publicity photos, if you are interested in witnessing the best of the best. I think my favorite is this record cover from her "Vegas years." Razormaid. Sounds sweet.

::: posted by dan at 3:52 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

What a saint/idiot-manchild.

So he's hoping that by finally admitting what he did, that they will reverse the ban they placed on him for doing what he would never admit he did in the first place? Warped logic. Good thing I already hate baseball and sports figures.

HOLLYWOOD (Reuters) - Notable quotes from the news:

"It's like I died and, and they knew I died and they didn't want to bring me back. They were just going to let me rot."

-- Baseball's all-time hit leader Pete Rose explaining to ABC why he recently admitted to gambling on baseball in hopes the sport will reverse its lifetime ban imposed for Rose's gambling activities while he was manager of the Cincinnati Reds in the late 1980s.

::: posted by dan at 3:36 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments