Sunday, November 02, 2008 :::
There was a time a few years back when I put a lot of effort into my Halloween costumes. But the era of crazy costume parties has ended, and so this year I spent Halloween evening eating spaghetti with friends and playing "spooky" games, which basically means Yahtzee by candlelight, which is more my speed these days.
But I was thinking about how all those old costumes were just rotting in storage, completely disregarded after all the time and money I spent perfecting them. So I figured I may as well wear one to my friend's house for spaghetti and spooky games. I decided upon my Prince outfit (sorry, to avoid copyright infringement it's actually called a "Purple Reign Rocker" costume), because it's comfortable like pajamas but still flashy enough to make a statement, only this time without the hassle of the accompanying wig or face makeup.
The problem is that I had to make a couple of stops on the way to my friend's house, and for some reason it was even more embarrassing to be out in public dressed as Prince without the accompanying wig and makeup, because A) I had nothing to hide behind, and because B) without the wig and makeup I was basically just some dude in a creepy faux-velvet jumpsuit with lacy accents.
The line at the liquor store was longer than expected and I was getting a lot of strange looks. When I finally got up to the register, the older humorless cashier inquired "So what are you supposed to be?" I quietly said "Prince" and handed him my debit card. He looked confused and said "Aren't you missing something? Like hair and makeup?" So deciding to diffuse the situation with a lame joke I said "Oh no, I'm Prince William." He slowly looked me up and down and without cracking a smile he simply replied "Oh" and handed me my receipt.
Then at the grocery store, I noticed a family in the produce aisle. The dad and the kid were not dressed up but the mom was in full Cinderella regalia. She was really getting into the part, too, flittering around, making grand gestures and speaking in a creepy high voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her notice me in my purple ensemble and a regrettable amount of eye-contact was made. She must have thought we had some sort of unspoken kinship being that we were both dressed up, but she was mistaken because I am not at all a fan of Disney Princesses or people who dress up like them. Plus her voice was really creeping me out.
When she got close she did a weird royal gesture with her arm and squeaked "Hellllooooo!" But people were starting to stare and my wig was at home and I didn't feel comfortable enough to return her enthusiasm, so I said "Sorry, wrong kind of prince." She didn't get the joke and the awkwardness multiplied exponentially.
Note to self: always wear the wig or leave the purple jumpsuit at home.
::: posted by dan at 8:36 PM :: [ link ] :: (6) comments
6 previous comments:
The 1980s were an ugly, freaky time. I wonder why we all never assumed Prince was gay? Do you think that drummer woman he had "on staff" had a part in that?
By , at 11:24 AM
I sat and waited all week to see what you did this year, all for nothing. Oh well. =(
By , at 11:48 AM
Just as expected, a drunken gay dressin' like a midget homer sexual. I thought you'd be the princess, or maybe you were jealous of the other woman because you didn't think of it first you dumb pixie. Also you knew you had to run those errands, you could have done that before hand you attention starved fruit bat.
*****FATTY IS OUUUUUUT*******
By , at 2:31 PM
Kmack where are you???
We miss you!!!
Planetdan is not the same without you!!!
By , at 7:32 PM
Just commenting to offset the wonkey set of comments on this post...
By Stacy, at 8:31 AM
Don't you worry, it was Kmack's house that I was going to. Only her name is not Kmack anymore, it's C-Minus, and so it just gets all too confusing to name names.
By dan, at 8:47 AM
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