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Thursday, March 16, 2006 :::

I think I'm going to shower at home from now on.

You'd think there would be only so many ways to embarrass yourself in the gym locker-room. Especially while naked. I've done them all. Or so I thought until yesterday, when I accidentally snapped a guy in the back with my sweaty underwear.

I hesitated about telling this story, just because it forces one to imagine me naked and in awkward positions. And then I remembered that I have no shame. But anyway, I was removing my drawers after a particularly grueling and sweat-inducing run. That's when the elastic around the legs of my boxer briefs caught my toe, so I yanked, perhaps a little too hard since I was in a hurry to make the nude portion of my locker-room visit as short as possible. I lost my balance, my foot fell, my arm lurched, the elastic gave, and the man a few lockers down from me got a surprise snap in the back. Not hard enough to sting, mind you, but hard enough to make him turn around to see what was going on, only to find me standing naked with a pair of sweaty underwear.

My way of dealing with the situation was to avoid eye contact, pretend it never happened, and rush off to the showers, where I stood and worried about what it must've seemed like from his point of view: some strange naked guy snaps him in the back with some sweaty undies and then turns and runs off to the shower. Real nice.

::: posted by dan at 9:47 PM :: [ link ] :: (21) comments Social Bookmark Button

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21 previous comments:

Actually buddy, it did sting, and it still does.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:25 PM  


That's classic, Dan, and the reason I started reading and continue to read your blog.

By Anonymous Darcy's Twin, at 10:35 PM  

That's a funny story. Stuff like that would surely drive me to drink!

By Anonymous The AA Guy Everyone Loves to Hate, at 10:36 PM  

Wouldn't it have been hilarious if he would have replied...

"How you doin'?"

The thought just makes me sniker.

By Blogger BigDubb, at 11:30 PM  

OMG.. That is hilarious!! I really refuse to take a shower at the gym. I am just not comfortable walking around a bunch of naked men, never have been. Luckily the gym I go to is less than 5 minutes from my house, so can just come home and shower.

By Blogger TracyD, at 7:07 AM  

Oh shit Dan. That is so funny and so totally horrible at the same time.
Somewhere out there is this guy who suffered the underwear trauma writing a blog about the crazy underwear snapping man at his gym.

By Blogger elizabeth, at 8:35 AM  

I once watched a guy put on someone ELSE's underwear after getting out of a lockerroom shower. The look on his face was priceless when he took them off and handed them to their rightful owner.

By Blogger Jake, at 9:45 AM  

That is hilarious. I accidently took someone elses towel on my way out of the shower and didn't relize it until I got to my locker. The key attached to the towel wouldn't open my locker. Wrong key and wrong towel. So I walked back to the shower and in order to find out whos towel it was made an anouncement, "I took someone's towel by mistake. Who has locker 110?"

By Blogger Nate Dogg, at 10:10 AM  

I am laughing out loud right now, and people at the office are giving me evil glances.

By Anonymous Irish Goddess, at 12:00 PM  

So there ARE even worse things I could do to embarrass myself at the gym. Something to aspire to. Thanks guys.

That wrong underwear story is the worst, by far. So fantastic.

By Blogger dan, at 2:57 PM  

awesome story, dan. you rock!

By Blogger Honey Bunny, at 2:57 PM  

omigosh, i was laughing so hard at that one. thanks for brightening my friday.

By Blogger aisy, at 3:08 PM  

It's been a while since you've regaled us with such stories of your life.

I chuckled to myself yesterday when I saw a Minnneapolis PARK Police at the scene of an accident and thought, "Yup, park police ARE real police."

Thanks for the stories...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:25 PM  


Planet Dan, I love your blog so much!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:25 PM  

You and I should combine our club stories we could totally write a book.Something ridiculous like that happens to me everytime I am there.

Did I tell you about how I got sat on and stranded in the steam room the other day.I was on the top step and as the steam grew thicker and thicker I realized I could no longer see the step in order to get out.I started breathing really shallow and almost started crying because I thought for sure I would become stranded in there never finding the door.Then I realized the steam shuts off after awhile...saved! The only reason I had moved up to the top was because a 85 year old woman with a skirted suit and flip flops sat on me when I was on the bottom near the door.I even coughed as she enter to alert her where I was.I did not work.

By Blogger Stacy, at 4:54 PM  

it did not work...not I.

By Blogger Stacy, at 4:56 PM  

Dan I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you. You crack me up every day - I came very close to actually wetting my pants with this one. Tears were streaming dowm my face pitureing the whole thing. Priceless.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:48 AM  

fantastic. I would have died.

By Anonymous duane, at 1:01 PM  

and where's the camera phone picture of THAT???

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:04 PM  

Oh my god, after this I feel like Queen of Gym Elegance. Thanks for the laugh, Dan! (I wish you had thought to say, "Hey man, don't worry... I'll get those.")

And someone got SAT ON in the steam room?! LOL!

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 8:10 PM  

Can't get enough of that story. It's hilarious.
You poor bugger, how embarrassing.
I don't know what I would do if something like that ever happened to me. Probably run for it and piss myself laughing.

By Anonymous MischievousFairy, at 7:53 PM  

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