Monday, December 19, 2005 :::
This is the worst picture of me ever, at my company's recent holiday party, as the boss' wife ties a shiny gold ribbon in my hair.
Sadly, I wasn't drunk. Just starved for attention.
::: posted by dan at 9:58 PM :: [ link ] :: (22) comments
22 previous comments:
FINALLY, now you know what it feels like to have someone wait until you make a "lazy, eyes half closed, eating, and drinking" face to take a picture. Doesn't feel so good now does it?
By brent, at 8:14 AM
Since I can't see her ears, I cannot tell if she is an elf, pixie or a halfling.
I can only tell that she is less than one-third your size.
Maybe that gold ribbon is a minus one of picture taking?
(I feel like I should make some apology for this post, saying something like, 'I have no idea what a halflings ears look like, I am just being funny' but that would be a lie.)
By Erik, at 8:22 AM
Well, festive red blazers or not - you do resemble a semi-retarded cirque du soliel trapeze artist taking five after the new year's show at the MGM Grand.
Or something like that.
By Elle Marie, at 11:40 AM
This is one of those things that leads to more questions - Whats up with the red blazer? Why is she tying a ribbon to your head? Are you eating olives? Pepperoncini? What the hell is going on?
By Biglug, at 11:51 AM
Why is she so tiny!? Why are you so huge? Have you been watching the Lord of the Rings DVD extras? What in the hell is up with the perspective in this photo?
By , at 1:32 PM
I know what I want for Christmas... Dan in just the gold bow!!!
By , at 2:19 PM
I hope that anonymous is a girl. (For Dan's sake).
By elizabeth, at 3:47 PM
nope, I am the guy from the locker room.
By , at 4:03 PM
Okay Dan, please don't keep us in suspense! Even Uncle Ray wants to know:
1. What's with the ribbon on your head thing?
2. What the heck are you eating?
3. Why wasn't Uncle Ray invited?
We need answers before we all go mad!
By billthecatlives, at 4:43 PM
Anonymous is just one of Dan's drunken male lovers who likes to high five after washing each other's butts.
By , at 4:45 PM
I can only assume it's bad perspective because I think my boss' wife is actually taller than me in person. I'm just a little guy. It's just one of the things that makes this picture so terrible.
I am eating olives from a martini. The gold ribbon was from a gift box we all recieved that contained chocolate snowflakes. And I killed uncle ray last month.
By dan, at 6:03 PM
Dan--you usually look like Dr. O'Malley from Grey's Anatomy...just so you know. It's a good thing.
By molly, at 9:09 PM
It's weird you say that, because that dude from Grey's Annatomy is from Minneapolis. All short guys from Minnesota look the same...
By , at 10:18 PM
Wow - from that angle, I thought your boss's wife had a hook for a hand and she was attacking your face. You see, it looked like her watch was the base of the hook, and the shiny, metallic ribbon was the hook.
I guess we're all confused by this picture.
By Robert, at 7:20 AM
Poor uncle Ray, now maybe billthecat can move on. The whole uncle ray thing was getting quite annoying.
By , at 8:13 AM
It kinda does look like a hook attack. Weird.
By dan, at 10:45 AM
And the hook came down on the babysitter's face!
SCRAPE! SCRAPE! SCRAPE!
By dan, at 10:46 AM
THAT HOOK THING WAS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT!
It took me forever to figure out this picture. And then I thought the "hook" thing was just too crazy, so I didn't mention it.
By Colleen, at 1:02 PM
I don't know Dan - all things considered, I don't think you look half bad. If this is your worst picture you're doing okay!
By elizabeth, at 2:08 PM
RIP Uncle Ray, :-(
By billthecatlives, at 3:30 PM
why do i see the woman smalller than you? hmm.. a lil weird.. :P
By smashpOp, at 9:18 PM
I've always enjoyed reading your blog, but now that you've quoted one of the BEST movies ever I think you are offically my hero.
By , at 10:39 PM
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Punished for Being Shallow
Screw You, Face Recognizer!
A Fresh Start
2005: A Year In Review
Creationists be Damned
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and far away
the big lug
girls are pretty
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