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Tuesday, February 01, 2005 :::

If I Ran Hollywood

All due respect to Kevin James (now there's a phrase I never thought I'd utter), but there are some things that just aren't funny in movies anymore. Such as:

1. Men getting their backs waxed.
2. White men dancing badly to hip-hop, even if it's Usher.
3. Swollen-face food allergy jokes.
4. Will Smith

::: posted by dan at 11:47 PM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments Social Bookmark Button

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12 previous comments:

This has nothing to do with Kevin James or his upcoming movie, but other things Hollywood should learn aren't funny:

1. The Wayans Brothers
2. Positioning women as desperate spinsters (Bridget Jones, that new Debra Messing movie)
3. Tommy Lee Jones

By Blogger Biglug, at 7:40 AM  

And Kevin Costner - Mm-wwa-hahahaha!!!

By Blogger MommyT, at 8:44 AM  

I think maybe we need to note that nobody has ever considered Tommy Lee Jones funny. Or Kevin Costner.

I agree with you Dan. Did you see Hitch or are you just turned off by the adds.

Will Smith needs to work his way back into more serious roles. He ins't that bad of an actor (yet).

By Blogger Trekgeekscott, at 9:32 AM  

I wouldn't in a million years see Hitch. Not a million billion trillion years.

By Blogger dan, at 10:05 AM  

I am not even going to comment
Just for the record though,sometimes you like someone enough to see a movie because you like the actor enough.

Although I have never seen king of queens Kevin James stand up routine is super funny.

It could be possible that he is not funny enough to warrant sitting through will smith kicking someone off a jet ski.
Is it just me or was this post slightly directed at me?
Plus, was a man getting a back wax ever really funny?
I do have to say a little goofy usher dancing can be funny.

By Blogger Stacy, at 11:04 AM  

Urggg, and how bout:

Guys getting their dick or balls caught, stuck, or pinched in something.

People breaking into spontaneous lipsynching in public places when they hear a popular oldie being played

Jackie Chan "hilariously" faux butchering American slang

By Blogger Anonymous, at 11:44 AM  

I am very tired of the endless sexist, racist, homophobic "humor" in most movies. Blech.

By Blogger Will, at 12:56 PM  

Waxing is not funny, it's painful.

By Blogger Kristina, at 2:04 PM  

I must admit: I'm a big Bridget Jones fan; I want to see the new Debra Messing movie (I *am* one of those spinsters, so I relate to the situation & then am able to find humor in my pathetic life rather then be continuously brought to tears because of it); I find Will Smith extremely attractive; I think the Wayans brothers are capable of being funny; I like politically incorrect humor- just because the joke is "wrong" doesn't mean its not funny; & I, too, feel this post was directed at me.

By Blogger hot babe, at 2:57 PM  

I think the spinster girl thing is getting tired, but I do like those movies anyway - who am I kidding? I liked Bridget Jones (the first one) b/c I like Colin Firth. Is that his name? He's so sensible. So you can strike my spinster comment. Though I still think I'd never see this Will Smith movie. I have seen king of queens and damn if Kevin James isn't funny sometimes.

By Blogger Biglug, at 7:55 PM  

Colin Firth is dreamy. The 1st Bridget is basically Jane Austen's Pride & Predjudice, so its hard *not* to like it. And at her age, I find it hard to call her a spinster. Her eggs aren't all dried up yet.

By Blogger hot babe, at 10:35 PM  

As long as you're running Hollywood, Dan, could you make sure that we are never again subjected to the "Let's Spontaneously Dance Around the Bedroom Singing Into a Hairbrush" scene? It's de rigeur in those heart-warming flicks like "Stepmom" and "Mrs. Doubtfire." *gag*
Also, I don't know if you all saw "Saved" but they briefly mock those exploitative cancer-survivor-Lifetime-Channel type movies in a brilliant scene with Valerie Bertinelli wearing a turban and sad eye make-up.

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 9:26 AM  

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