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Tuesday, February 15, 2005 :::

Dan's Unfortunate Future

When I was working at the QP (worst.job.ever.) making 16 cookie-cutter websites per day (per quota), I'd get calls from small-time psychics who were hoping to expand their business through this wonderful new thing called the World Wide Web. Of course, none of these psychics were gifted enough to foresee that the QP was basically a phone-bill slamming sweat-shop whose real expertise was taking advantage of small business entrepreneurs like them, but whatever.

One psychic gave me a free reading over the phone while I was taking her website order (a process that was remarkably crude and similar to ordering a meal at the McDonald's drive-thru). Anyway, she told me a few startling things: a) I would have kidney problems, b) I drink too much soda, c) I needed to watch out for my legs below the knees, and d) my lifeline was short, which I thought was completely rude and pretty ballsy considering she obviously couldn't see my palms and that she had just basically given me the right to charge anything I wanted to her phone bill.

I don't believe in psychics, of course. I'm only telling you this because if I happen to get diabetes from drinking too much soda and they end up amputating my lower legs which somehow leads to an early death due to kidney failure, then everyone can be like "woah" and I will trust one of you to track her down and ask her if Michael Jackson really masturbated in front of that boy, because that is totally grody and I'm dying to know if it's true. But I guess I'd be dead so nevermind.

I tried to track her down for you, just to make your life a little more bearable after my untimely and devastating death, but I only found Wendy The Psychic's Psychic, which is a Quikpage site I remember working on back in the day. The only reason I link to it now is because it documents my early days as a prolific web designer. Yeah, I know it's total crap. I ain't proud of it. But in my defense it was 8 years ago. How many websites were YOU making 8 years ago? It wasn't 16 a day, I can bet you that.

::: posted by dan at 6:23 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

9 previous comments:

Great earrings Wendy.

By Blogger Tsering324, at 9:37 AM  

I wasn't making 16 pages a day cause I was happy with the status quo of 12 pages per day, which left me enough time to surf the internet and write scathing emails about my supervisor. Gawd that place sucked...

By Blogger brent, at 9:46 AM  

Dan, it's mental meanderings of yours like this one which prompted me to short-cut your blog to my desktop. You crack me up!

By Blogger annie, at 2:58 PM  

Well, you *do* drink too much soda.

By Blogger hot babe, at 4:27 PM  

Whatever became of Quick Pages? sounds horrid. Also, are they still hosting sites like Windy, SuperPsychic®? You click on the link, and the quick pages site does not open. hmmm...

By Blogger Robert, at 7:45 PM  

I was reading this and kept hearing physic in my head, thinking why would Dan say phsyic rather than physicist?

Then I got tot he pic.

Oh pSYCHic.

Aparently I have no powers of vision. I should have seen that one coming.

By Blogger BigDubb, at 1:25 AM  

I think the QP started to go under, then changed it's name, then got bought, and now it is just a shadow of what it used to be. Good riddance. I think all the the sites they still had running were purchased by another company, so I'm sure TONS of my old work is still floating around out there unfortunately.

By Blogger dan, at 10:24 AM  

Oh, and brent is right, 12 pages a day was the quota. 16 pages a day got you a quarter more per hour on your paycheck. It was quite and incentive.

By Blogger dan, at 10:27 AM  

so were any of her predictions correct????

By Blogger lafoften, at 8:45 PM  

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