Search planetdan:


Monday, June 14, 2004 :::

Playground Taunts

This is apparently old, but I missed it the first time-around. Wonkette has collected a few suggestive quotes implying that Bush bats for both sides, or at the very least is oddly obsessed with attractive male faces:

Kinda like grade-school taunting at the playground, but also kinda funny.

Which kind of reminds me of a dark period when I was in the fourth grade and walked home from school every day. My begging-for-trouble friend Cory taunted a menacing eighth-grader, David Stay, from across the parking lot with a chorus of "Gay Stay! Gay Stay! Gay Stay!" Since David Stay was a good deal older and faster than us, he easily caught up with Cory and pounded his face into a snow bank. I abandoned my friend without a second thought, and sprinted away in a desperate act of self-preservation, as Gay Stay yelled after me, "I'll get you later!" So for weeks after, I bolted from school the minute the bell rang in order to avoid his wrath, until one day he finally got wise and gave chase. I'd had a pretty good head start on him, but the problem was that it was winter, I was in the fourth grade, and Moon Boots were standard issue. My little padded legs just couldn't keep pace and I ended up ditching face first onto the pavement. When he caught up to me, I defensively turned on the water-works and balled "I'm telling!" before he even layed a hand on me. He simply said "I didn't even do anything yet," and walked away, sparing me. I never wore Moon Boots again, but I can still feel the burning shame like it was yesterday.

::: posted by dan at 2:38 PM :: [ link ] :: (2) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

2 previous comments:

Come one- you have to have more of these stories. This one definitely ranks right up there with the "kick me" sign in gym class. Too funny...

By Blogger hot babe, at 12:40 PM  

Yes, I tend to get favorable responses for stories that involve personal humiliation or any type of traumatizing event. Your interest in my pain is appreciated.

By Blogger dan, at 1:13 AM  

< Back to Blog

planetdan home
planetdan blog
dan's pics

Supreme Court Pussies
Cursed at Birth, Vol. II
Baked. The bad way.
And I thought lucky rabbit's feet were inhumane.
Dan's new best friend - not you.
I rubbed my eyes, but it's still there.
Wet Hot American Masterpiece
Game 4
Come and gone.
Tonight's the night.

jason mulgrew
beware of the blog
nyc babylon
sista c
b stacy b
trek geek scott
second toughest
and far away
chez lynne
the big lug
little voice

the superficial
boing boing
golden fiddle
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder



some ads