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Friday, December 01, 2006 :::


Yay! The day after Thanksgiving marks the earliest possible date when it is socially acceptable to listen to Christmas music. I have actually been listening for months already, gathering tunes and making the selections for my sixth annual KICK ASS XMAS MIX CD, this year dubbed as "The Kickassiest" (for reasons that will be made obvious), which has the following official playlist:

1. Jingle Bells - Bing Crosby & The Andrew Sisters
2. Get Behind Me, Santa! - Sufjan Stevens
3. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Aimee Mann
4. Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming - Feist
5. Sleigh Ride - Herb Alpert
6. Over the River - Danny Kaye and The Andrew Sisters
7. Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy - The Berlin Symphony
8. iPod xMas - Hello Saferide
9. Greensleeves - Sarah McLachlan
10. A Christmas Song - Jethro Tull
11. The Ice Storm - The Go! Team
12. Calling on Mary - Aimee Mann
13. O Holy Night - Sufjan Stevens
14. White Christmas - Esquivel
15. Santa Claus’s Party - Ferrante and Teicher
16. Port Starboard Sox - Kate and Anna McGarrigle
17. Winter Wonderland - Chet Baker Quartet
18. Jing-A-Ling, Jing-A-Ling - The Quincy Jones Orchestra
19. Back Door Santa - Clarence Carter
20. Deck the Halls - Bobby Timmons
21. Jingle Bell Rock - Pas/Cal
22. River - Sarah McLachlan
23. Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance! - Sufjan Stevens
24. Santa Claus is Coming to Town - The Ray Conniff Singers
25. The Kickassiest Christmas - Planetdan
26. An Auld Lang Syne Adios - Esquivel

I can't offer them for download or disseminate actual CDs since that would infringe on copyrights and such, but I think I can stream low-bit versions without any worry, so feel free to listen to the mix on my holiday jukebox, which shall be made available to you throughout the celebrating season on the right hand side of my site. Take a peek, it's there already.

You'll notice that there is another xmas surprise as well: the first ever planetdan original xmas tune. It's the official title track to the album, in fact, and since I wrote, composed, and performed this already-classic song myself, I am legally entitled to offer it as a free download. You can get your own copy by right-clicking on its title above. It's an unassuming little ditty, created only with a wonderful little program called GarageBand and my own free-wheelin' penchant for go-for-broke brilliance, that slowly builds to an incredible climax that is not unlike an orgy of aural delights. Listen to it and your world will be forever changed. No hyperbole intended. I have given you the gift of auditory perfection. Enjoy.

::: posted by dan at 10:30 PM :: [ link ] :: (41) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

41 previous comments:

I'd like to hear more about this 'Back Door Santa'. Is he a cowboy in the off season?

Not that there'd be anything wrong with that.

By Blogger ntrudr, at 5:57 PM  

Dan -
Thought you weree a Mac hater? Yet I hear a ditty worked up in Garageband..
Can we expect planetdan to go to an iWeb template soon ?
Whats next .. a one-button mouse ?

Welcome to the bright-side.

By Anonymous Karl, at 6:01 PM  

That was just the Kickassiest!

By Blogger Colleen, at 9:37 PM  

Wow. Now my New Kids on the Block-heavy mix just smells of disappointment and shame. Much like Jordan Knight.

P.S. Could your word verifications be any longer? I just typed a paragraph in Klingon.

By Blogger J-Money, at 9:58 PM  

rock you hard this christmas - the dan band

(yes the dan band is a real bad)

By Anonymous Sonya, at 10:19 PM  

Dan... your tune totally freaks me out... the creepy monotone vocals makes me think of a flock serial killers banded together to go "a caroling" and then feasting on the unsuspecting victims that open their doors.... but ONLY after they have sung The Kickassiest Christmas.... I think it may lull them into a trance so that they can be overtaken without screaming... yet... I still love you Dan... TRULY!!!! ;)

By Anonymous Frightened, at 10:24 PM  

wow, cool song! it sounds more like a theme song for a james bond spy movie than a xmas song though; 007: The Spy Who Was Kickassiest. the lyrics are hilarious too . . . "tinsel made out of angel crap", "blinking lights that give you seizures"! thanks for the download & the laughs.

By Anonymous August, at 10:24 PM  

Wow--very cool. Kind of reminds me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory--what Oompa Loompas might sound like if they release a Christmas album!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:30 AM  

YAY!!!! One of my favorite parts of the season is back - the planetdan Christmas mix!!!! I have been anxiously awaiting it's arrival. Thanks Dan!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:19 AM  

Dan, that was the Kickassiest X-mas song ever! I will be putting this into rotation during the X-mas season. Thanks for helping us all to have the Kickassiest X-mas this year!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:19 PM  

Finally some audible Dan after years of only visuals. I'm assuming you did much of the vocals yourself..?
Still trying to understand your Sufjan obsession. Do you know the band personally, or something? "Get Behind Me Santa" is a catchy tune, but other than that, I guess I don't get it.
Otherwise, great playlist!

By Blogger KTG, at 10:36 PM  

holy jesus, that song rocked.

By Anonymous sarah, at 2:03 PM  

Yay! Dan, you just made my Christmas wish come I can read planetdan AND listen to Christmas music, too!
But, the Kickassiest Christmas IS a little creepy. It's those minor keys, right? and it sorta reminds me of the Oompa Loompa song...maybe no coincidence because I know you love those Oompa Loompas...

By Anonymous lola, at 10:31 PM  

YIKES Dan, i friggin love yer ass but I have to agree with the serial killer analogy, that song made me wanna lock my doors and hide my mistletoe.

But merry fuckin Xmas anyway you knucklehead.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:05 PM  

U know, the beginning of this sounds like the theme song from some 1970s cop show.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:13 PM  

Hey, Dan -- According to Faust Gertz on this blog post, your Kickassiest tune was played on the radio today. Looks like it made it onto the air around 3:30 p.m. was on KWLC 1240 AM in Decorah, Iowa. There were tens, maybe dozens, of people listening I'm sure.

By Anonymous Dan S, at 11:25 PM  

Holy crap, I'm broadcast! Sweeeeet! Thanks listener Dan.

By Blogger dan, at 7:42 AM  

Oh, and PS:

1. I'm still a Mac Hater. But I'm a GarageBand lover. The two can be exclusive.

2. Is the Dan Band that guy from Old School? My mom might not like that addition to a christmas mix CD...

3. Sufjan is a genius. I only WISH I knew the band. The guy has never written a bad song. AND he just released an xmas boxed set of FIVE CDs so expect his xmas songs in my mixes for YEARS to come.

By Blogger dan, at 7:48 AM  

Awesome awesome awesome.

By Blogger Robert, at 8:57 AM  

No mention of The Decemberists on Letterman last week? Or was it a rerun?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:22 AM  

cool that you put up an xmas jukebox again - that marks one year of me visiting your blog - i really liked the music last year and i´ll probably like it (only up to song 6) this year too! and about your song - don´t quit your dayjob...

By Anonymous Richard, at 10:57 AM  

I know you collect pictures of kids scared of Santa. Here's my niece from this year.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:22 PM  

i mean that i was only up to the sixth song while writing that comment and i didn´t listen to the rest yet...

By Anonymous Richard, at 4:22 PM  

Sounds alot like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I can see Johnny Deep tapping his fingers to your song.

By Anonymous Yolel, at 6:30 AM  

I agree with the creepy monotone serial killer comment until about 2:20 in...then it takes a sharp turn and reminds me of the original Batman series!

Bam! Biff!

By Anonymous Rebecca, at 11:31 AM  

Wow! Your song made it on the radio! Wow, it followed five songs by "Air Force Band of the Midwest"! You've made it, Dan!
Seriously, it is cool in a wacky, 'planetdan' kinda way. You rock.

By Anonymous lola, at 10:19 PM  

I wouldn't have it any other way.

By Blogger dan, at 10:46 PM  

Love the song as well but I really don't understand why you hate the mac - without the mac you wouldn't have the kickassiest Xmas. The really cool program you used to compose your song is only available on a mac. Don't be a hater and show a little respect!

Perhaps what you haven't realized yet is that with your mac you could, if you wanted, actually make a music video to accompany your Xmas hit rather easily.

I'll be waiting to see the video.

By Blogger Malden, at 10:53 PM  

When you do the video you MUST dress up as an Oompa Loompa. Ahhhh--Can you see it? Creeeeeeepy!!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:14 AM  

Gosh, I'll be streaming this at my upcoming kickass party, and forcing my guests to sing along with Kickassiest Christmas! Thanks Dan and have a holly jolly.

By Anonymous deb, at 12:44 PM  

Can I get the lyrics? Or are they posted somewhere else already? Wonderful holiday fun--two thumbs up!

By Blogger Stacy B, at 1:28 PM  

Yah Dan.... even though I am creeped out... I totally want the lyrics... can't quite make them out! So please post them!!!

By Anonymous Frightened, at 8:42 AM  

So don't know me, i don't know you...i'm a frequent browser because of you witty wit (har..yikes) but i'm a recent post grad who is intrigued...anyways...though it funny my dad forwarded me a link from your site! mind you, this is middle of nebraska, middle 'o nowhere....good for was..... for you

By Anonymous brewback, at 12:09 AM  

Hmmm, maybe I altered the vocals a bit too much, but here are the lyrics:

All Christmases are not the same
Prim and tasteful are a boring shame
Come December I'll asure you this
This Christmas you won't want to miss

We don't want the classiest Christmas
We want the kickassiest Christmas

Plastic trees
and garland wreaths
and blinking lights
that give you seizures
lots of gifts
with mismatched wrapping
tinsel made
from angels crapping
jingle bells on
all doors
drunken guests on
all fours
singing santa
more wine
why not

We don't want the classiest Christmas
We want the kickassiest Christmas


Kickassiest / Kickassiest

By Blogger dan, at 8:58 AM  

Thanks for posting the lyrics Dan. I thought I heard the word "seizures", and now it has been confirmed. You're the best!

By Blogger Stacy B, at 9:54 AM  

How embarrassing, I’ve been singing “drunken guests on floors” instead of “drunken guests on all fours”. I bet people have been making fun of me this whole time. I’m SO embarrassed!!!

It’s just like when I was six and my older brother would make me sing my lyrics to Hall & Oats “Private Eyes” which I thought were “Friday nights I’m watching you” instead of “Private eyes are watching you” to all of his friends. “Hey Kris…sing that song for Grant”. What a jerk!

And of course there was the incident with “Our Lips are Sealed”, but I think most everyone had that problem.

By Blogger Kristina, at 12:22 PM  

awwwww come on dude. Burn a couple of those and send them out to your fans. I'm definitely passing on your original tunes to my friends.

By Blogger Shumpy, at 2:32 PM  

Seriously should think about burning a bunch and selling them...I'd fer sure buy one! How many other takers?

By Blogger ntrudr, at 12:40 PM  

not to whine, but can you [Dan] PLEASE post something new?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:02 AM  

Maurice and I loved the CD; thanks for sending the x-mas cheer down under.

Now if only I could pry it out of his sweaty little hands. . .

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 AM  

Dear Dan,
Do you happen to know who the original composer of "Jing-a-ling Jing-a-ling" was. I bought some old sheet music and believe I have the original rough draft on staff paper. Was it Stuart Hamblen or Redd Harper?? Someone from that genre?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:42 AM  

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