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MOVIES
I watch movies. On DVD, at the theater, via cable TV. Sometimes I want people to know what I think about the movies I watch, regardless of whether or not they care. I promise I will make my reviews short, but I won't be ashamed to throw around cliches like "beautiful cinematography" and "post-modern irony," so be warned.
 


Sunday, September 23, 2007 :::

Year of the Dog
Rating:

Why I saw it: Because the director Mike White and I are best friends, even if he doesn't know it.

What I think about it: Molly Shannon's life goes into a tailspin after her dog, Pencil, accidentally dies. In her grief, she slowly becomes insanely obsessed with animal rights (and the unconditional love of a pet that she's never been able to replicate from a human), until she eventually devolves into an animal herself. Figuratively. Although the plot synopsis and the presence of Molly Shannon might suggest otherwise, this is actually a very subtle movie with nuanced humor and identifiable characters. Laura Dern, in particular, creates one of the most indelible characters of her career. So it's not just about Molly. It's about how her and everyone around her are so obsessed with their own existence that they can't see the forest for the trees (I really hate that idiom, but it fits here). The plot meanders a bit and seems to avoid trying to make an actual point, but as with all Mike White movies, it's really about inventing a specific character with specific traits, putting them in an unusual situation, and then letting that ride itself out to its natural conclusion. The performances and the art direction are pitch perfect, and the subtlety and depth of the humor are revealed only after multiple viewings. It's the kind of movie that might not overly impress you at first, but it manages to stick with you until you eventually and suddenly realize that you NEED to see it again.

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::: posted by dan at 9:18 AM :: #
 


Thursday, September 13, 2007 :::

The Ten
Rating:

Why I saw it: I learned to love Wet Hot American Summer

What I think about it: The Ten is a scatterbrained absurdist comedy that is loosely (and when I say loosely, I mean barely) based on the Ten Commandments, with each specific commandment getting its own devoted skit. It's funny, profane, vulgar, blasphemous, odd, daring, stupid, and a lot of it falls flat on its face, just like the filmmakers' previous work, Wet Hot American Summer. It's not exactly deep, and I wouldn't call it relevant when it comes to incisive satire about religion or the Bible, but it's still a worthwhile experience to watch those guys take "scatological" to a new level. If you've seen Wet, Hot, American Summer, then you know what to expect, and you probably won't be disappointed. I think my favorite skit features Winona Ryder humping a ventriloquist's dummy in a cheap motel room, if that helps you understand the maturity level of the humor.

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::: posted by dan at 11:45 AM :: #
 


Sunday, September 09, 2007 :::

Zodiac
Rating:

Why I saw it: why not?

What I think about it: Piecing together the true story of the infamously unsolved Zodiac Killer mystery from case files and personal recollections, Zodiac plays like a detective drama without a car chase, a gun fight, or even a final act denouement. It's all very from-the-book and just-the-facts-ma'am, describing the crimes and the subsequent investigation with clarity of detail and thoughtful reasoning. It was as if I was watching Oliver Stone's JFK only without the sensationalism or the whack-job conspiracy theories. And even though that makes it sound boring, it was actually fairly informative and entertaining. It even managed to create a few moments of well-earned suspense, aided in no small part by its straight-forward style in storytelling. It isn't flashy or in your face like Fincher's previous movies. It's thoughtful, meditative, and well-balanced. The trouble is that thoughtful, meditative, and balanced movies won't exactly blow you away. But it is nonetheless a worthwhile movie to watch, and a fascinating depiction of an intriguing historical period.

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::: posted by dan at 7:18 PM :: #
 

Hard Candy
Rating:

Why I saw it: Sounded intriguing.

What I think about it: I was afraid that the prey/predator role reversal that the story hinges around would be too gimmicky, or that the nature of the pedophile predator topic would force the movie into preachy territory, but I was mistaken. A lot. Although Hard Candy is indeed based on gimmick, and it is indeed exploitative, and it is indeed almost painful to watch at times (one scene in particular that you may have read about but whose intensity you still won't be expecting), it's also fascinating, thought-provoking, and thankfully unwilling to tell you what to think. Both characters in this two-character thriller/drama are troubled, to say the least. Neither one can really be called the "good" guy. Yet both play out their roles exactly like they should, and the resulting cat and mouse game is pretty riveting. The movie is clever in the way it reveals information. You know the information you're waiting for and the questions you need answered, you're just never sure how they are going to deliver it. The most amazing thing about the movie, though, is Ellen Paige's portrayal of the 14-year-old Internet "nymph". She's incredible from the very first scene to the very last. Finally, it's an unforgettable star-making performance inside of a worthy movie, which is a combination that doesn't come along too often.

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::: posted by dan at 7:06 PM :: #
 

The Holiday
Rating:

Why I saw it: It was a group thing.

What I think about it: I'm not sure what anyone saw in the concept, or the script, or even the casting that made them want to make this movie. It's not romantic. It's not clever. It's not funny. It's not realistic. It's not interesting. But here's what it is: boring, long, derivative, repetitive, cliched, ridiculous, trite, an insult to women, and mindnumbing. The story revolves around two women who arrange a holiday house-swap in order to get away from their respective man troubles. The resulting contrivances will make you want to barf. Of course they both fall in love unexpectedly. Of course they both learn life lessons. Of course they exchange cheezy lines of dialogue that are way beyond laughable. They throw every romantic comedy cliche into the mix and the resulting syrupy goo is practically unpalatable. I can't even get into the details because it will just anger me. For instance: guess what happens to the character who repeatedly mentions that she hasn't cried since she was 14 and tries multiple times throughout the course of the film to induce fake tears? You know the answer. Please avoid.

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::: posted by dan at 6:57 PM :: #
 


Monday, September 03, 2007 :::

Music and Lyrics
Rating:

Why I saw it: No good reason.

What I think about it: Except for the inspired 80's music video parody that plays over the opening credits, not a single moment of this ham-fisted romantic comedy rings true. It takes the romantic comedy formula to new lows with ridiculous setups, unlikely plot devices, and a leading couple that is absolutely devoid of any onscreen chemistry whatsoever. A lesser problem is that the movie hinges on the quality of Hugh and Drew's supposedly brilliant collaborative songwriting talents, and yet the actual music in the movie utterly sucks, especially the insipid Back Into Love song that the movie is supposed to revolve around. But sadly, even with a brand new soundtrack written by people with actual talent, this movie would still be a big load of drooling, boring pap. If you took twenty teen-aged girls into a focus group and made them discuss the perfect movie, and then actually made them write the screenplay, this would be the result.

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::: posted by dan at 5:45 PM :: #
 


Saturday, September 01, 2007 :::

Superbad
Rating:

Why I saw it: I'm a fan of Michael Cera.

What I think about it: It's a funny and endearing movie about a couple of loser buddies trying to get drunk and laid. It falls prey to some of the same old movie conventions of the past (hot teen-aged chicks do not have charming or accepting personalities, nor do they date loser guys, regardless of how warm-hearted they are deep inside), and it's also far too long and meandering. But on the plus side, the dialogue is sharp and funny, the acting is spot on, and the resulting smile on my face was well-earned. I think best of all, it's sincere, and far more genuine than other recent teenage-sex comedies, like the entire American Pie series.

It's exceptionally vulgar and profane though, so don't bring granny.

Learn more about it.


::: posted by dan at 4:44 PM :: #
 

Stranger Than Fiction
Rating:

Why I saw it: The concept was intriguing.

What I think about it: Although I have a recently acquired aversion to Will Farrell movies, I made an exception. It's unfair to categorize this as a Will Farrell movie, though, since there is an unusual amount of talent elsewhere in the picture. The plot, about a man who suddenly hears his life being endlessly described to him by an unseen narrator is intriguing, and the developing story is actually quite sweet and touching. The only real problem is the filmmakers' remarkable cop out at the end, which I felt completely went off track just to provide the audience with a feel good finale. Even in spite of that, the movie works on most levels, regardless of Will Farrell's involvement.

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::: posted by dan at 4:05 PM :: #
 

Babel
Rating:

Why I saw it: It was nominated for stuffs.

What I think about it: Bah! Another movie that thinks it has a lot more to say than it actually does. The main message of this movie basically boils down to: "People who speak different languages and have different cultural practices might have a hard time communicating, which could lead to some difficult situations!" Duh. Get over yourself, Innaritu. And it would have helped a tad if the movie was even remotely entertaining to watch.

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::: posted by dan at 3:20 PM :: #
 

Live Free or Die Hard
Rating:

Why I saw it: I dunno. Sometimes I like ridiculous action movies.

What I think about it: Time has made me realize how bad the second and third Die Hard movies are. The second was long, bloated, and took itself way too seriously. The third was boring, derivative, and pointless. The original is still a classic of the genre, but this new version mostly makes all the right steps, never taking itself too seriously and completely disregarding any sense of reality whatsoever. In my opinion, if you are going to ask your audience to suspend their disbelief, you might as well go for broke, and Die Hard 4 does it in spades. The plot is not worth explaining, and some of the dialogue is groan-worthy, but I can't say that I wasn't completely entertained. There are some lame moments where characters say silly things or recite forced speeches as if the screenwriters were trying to make the movie more meaningful, but those moments are thankfully few and far between.

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::: posted by dan at 3:14 PM :: #
 

The Simpsons Movie
Rating:

Why I saw it: I love the Simpsons. Who doesn't, though.

What I think about it: Not the brilliant comedy I was hoping it would be, and not even as funny as the South Park movie was (which for some reason I was hoping and expecting it would top), but still funny enough to sustain its longer running time and to justify paying for something you can normally get for free in daily reruns. Really, it was like an extended good episode. But it's just a cartoon so let's not even attempt to add any depth to the discussion.

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::: posted by dan at 3:09 PM :: #
 

Talladega Nights
Rating:

Why I saw it: I don't know.

What I think about it: Painfully unfunny in that way that most other Will Ferrell movies have been painfully unfunny lately. It's as if he thinks people like watching him run around saying stupid things that don't make sense as long as he is in his underwear. It's mediocre at best, and boring as hell at worst. There's very little that's redeemable here, and even less that is genuinely funny.

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::: posted by dan at 3:06 PM :: #
 

The Fountain
Rating:

Why I saw it: I like the director's other movies.

What I think about it: I admit I shouldn't have liked this movie so much since I'm not even sure I understood it at all, and I generally hate movies that attempt to be vague, but there is something about the director's ability of combining startling visuals, realistic performances, and a churning, heart-pounding musical score that elevates it beyond your typical movie-going experience. I think with a little more focus and some plain old exposition, this movie could have been a classic, but as it is, it's just a riveting sci-fi dream.

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::: posted by dan at 3:02 PM :: #
 

The DaVinci Code
Rating:

Why I saw it: Hype

What I think about it: A derivative, repetitive book is made into a derivative, repetitive movie with bad hair. I have no idea why, but I was expecting more.

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::: posted by dan at 3:00 PM :: #
 

Knocked Up
Rating:

Why I saw it: I'm a huge fan of 40-Year-Old Virgin

What I think about it: It's amazing that such raunchy humor can be so effortlessly combined with warm fuzzies, but the filmmakers of Knocked Up manage to do just that. The humor mostly comes out of the banter between the characters and the wit of conversation, which would make me predict that it won't exactly hold up as a true comedy classic as the years progress, especially since it has such a lackluster plot. But it's clever enough and entertaining in its characterizations. I personally thought the climax was a let-down, but I guess how can you really make an on-screen birth scene exciting or original anymore?

That being said, I prefer The 40-Year-Old Virgin for many reasons, including the fact that it avoids similar problems by climaxing with a 5th Dimension sing-a-long.

Learn more about it.


::: posted by dan at 2:53 PM :: #
 

Notes on a Scandal
Rating:

Why I saw it: For the performances.

What I think about it: It's an engrossing story about a twisted relationship and some bad student/teacher relations that manages to rack up a fair amount of tension. And although the performances are pretty amazing, the plot doesn't exactly ever surprise and the point ends up getting lost in the shuffle. I'd recommend it for Dame Dench's performance alone, but this is not a movie that would require or inspire repeat viewings.

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::: posted by dan at 2:46 PM :: #
 

Casino Royale
Rating:

Why I saw it: Curiosity

What I think about it: The only, and I mean ONLY, James Bond movie I've ever actually enjoyed. Perhaps it's a tad too long and slightly predictable, but it's got energy and a realistic portrayal of action and character, which makes it miles beyond the melting ice-castles and pointless explosions of other recent Bond movies. If they keep with this style in the future then I might actually have to stop writing off the entire franchise.

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::: posted by dan at 2:42 PM :: #
 

Pan's Labyrinth
Rating:

Why I saw it: Reviews were good.

What I think about it: It's a creepy, inventive, brutal fairy tale set during the spanish civil war that doesn't pull any punches. It's even grimmer than Grimm and darker than your average movie staring pixies and children, but it never ceases to entertain. But it's definitely for adults only. My only real problem with it is the vague ending, which wants you to make your own decision about what you believe happened, which I tend to hate. I'd prefer that the filmmaker had the balls to decide for himself what he wanted to say.

When all is said and done, it doesn't have much of a point, or the emotional resonance of a movie like Children of Men, but that's doesn't really diminish its power too much.

Learn more about it.


::: posted by dan at 2:37 PM :: #
 

Children of Men
Rating:

Why I saw it: Heard it was good.

What I think about it: Man, it's been a while since I reviewed any movies. I'm going to have to make the next few reviews short and sweet...

By far the best movie I've seen in a long time. Small in scale, but epic in execution, Children of Men is a near-future scenario about a world that is no longer fertile, and it starts out with a bang (literally) and never stops piling on the tension. Some of the technical feats of the production are astounding, and the climax is riveting and seemingly important. So much has already been said about this movie so it's pointless to expound further. Just see it soon.


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::: posted by dan at 2:23 PM :: #


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