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I watch movies. On DVD, at the theater, via cable TV. Sometimes I want people to know what I think about the movies I watch, regardless of whether or not they care. I promise I will make my reviews short, but I won't be ashamed to throw around cliches like "beautiful cinematography" and "post-modern irony," so be warned.

Sunday, February 20, 2005 :::


Why I saw it: There was nothing good playing and we wanted to see a movie.

What I think about it: It's good when a movie tries to create its own universe to exist in. That's usually a sign of creativity or originality or something. But not in this case. This movie creates all these stupid rules but doesn't always abide by them and basically abandons consistency right from the get go. For instance, apparently if you are psychic you can put your feet in water and stare into a cat's eyes and you will be temporarily transported to hell. Except sometimes you don't need the cat, and sometimes you have to have your whole body submerged, not just your feet. And sometimes it has to be a used electric chair that's facing east. But not always. In my opinion, if you bother to take all the time to invent a universe where visiting hell requires a foot bath and a some cat eyes, then stick to it for the rest of the movie. And that's just one of a billion examples. But I'm being picky, because really even without the inconsistencies this movie would still be a whole pile of stupid. I couldn't even summarize the plot if I tried, except maybe to say that god and the devil have a bet over the fate of the world to see which way humanity will go if left on its own: good or bad. Interesting enough premise. Bad execution. The only really redeeming thing about this movie is Tilda Swinton as the archangel Gabriel. She's really cool no matter what crap she's in. But as for the rest of the movie, the most accurate review I can give it is that if I happened to flip to it on cable some random night, I would turn it after five minutes.

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::: posted by dan at 9:49 PM :: #


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