Search planetdan:


Wednesday, March 05, 2008 :::

Job Offer

I recently received an email which offered me the opportunity to submit articles for publication in the upcoming Girls Gone Wild magazine.

I'm not kidding.

I'm not so sure that "plentiful circulation in such areas as 7-Elevens nationwide" is an effective enticement.

At first I thought the email was just a marketing ploy, and that some smart marketing executive at GGW headquarters was emailing job offers to bloggers across the country in hopes that they would blog about it, therefore providing free word-of-mouth advertising about the new publication's launch. In which case: mission accomplished.

Then I thought that maybe it was just regular old spam or a phishing attempt... some sort of sneaky way to improve circulation. Of course, there's always the possibility that someone actually finds me entertaining, in which case I'm incredibly flattered, but I don't really understand how my animated GIFs and embarrassing gym stories would translate to Girls Gone Wild in print. Still, if the author of this email is still out there, I can only thank you for your kind offer and flattering words.

Having said that, my eventual reply stated: "I don't know much about drunk chicks or tits. Not to marginalize your business or anything."

Was that inappropriate?

::: posted by dan at 5:48 PM :: [ link ] :: (15) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

15 previous comments:

I think you probably know a lot more about tits than you give yourself credit for.

By Blogger PrincessMax, at 4:22 PM  

I loved your response to them. Honestly, you can write about anything - no one will be reading the articles. Write them an article about your locker room escapades. I bet they pay. Isn't that GGW guy on his way to a federal prison for tax evasion? Maybe you shouldn't mix it up with him and his buddies.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:47 PM  

I am not so certain you should be all too flattered by this offer. Seriously, he is suggesting that the same demographic inclined to purchase a GGW magazine would appreciate your writing. Seems more like an insult to me.

By Anonymous DCDEFA, at 9:15 AM  

Gosh - I'm so bummed I didn't get an offer from GGW.

I agree, it's very hard to tell if it's spam or genuine. I find your blog entertaining, yet the GGW audience is very different from me. I suspect.

By Blogger Bob, at 10:06 AM  

question: would GGW get the answer to your gnomes and that hats?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:22 AM  

My personal favorites are the very professional phrases "pump out the work" and He's "always down with talking about style". This cat is extra groovy Dan, I say go for it.

By Anonymous Noelle, at 12:20 PM  

So, Joe Francis is finding time to expand his empire in between getting fistfucked by his cellmate in federal prison? Impressive!

By Anonymous june, at 3:29 PM  

I'm also bummed that GGW didn't offer me a writing spot. So now I'm shamelessly posting a comment here so that when they come back to this blog and see their own letter reproduced here, they may by chance stop by my blog and read my stuff, and, despite the fact that I too know very little about drunk chicks or tits, may very well offer me a free lance gig as well.

By Blogger Dennis!, at 4:02 PM  

Hi Dan and Dan-fans,

Elijah Bates here, the author of that email I sent to you in hopes that you would want to write for the magazine.

To all others, no, it was not spam and, yes, we are looking for other freelancers. If you're interested, drop me an email (

Seriously, this isn't spam. Why would someone spamming (if people even spam at this point) concentrate his evil strictly on a select few bloggers, specifically potential freelancers? Maybe the answer makes more sense to the fans at Planetdan, but not to me. What does make sense to me is earning a paycheck and that's what my email was all about (not a get-rich-quick scheme of any variety or any sort of penis enlarger).

Even more seriously, all writers who would like to get paid for their words and their work should get in contact with me, so long as you know how to construct a basic article. Poetry, screenplays and short stories are not articles, so if this is your forte, perhaps you're better off commenting on random posts at barely-read blogs.

Lastly, for the record, I really did like Planetdan and I only sent out that email to a select few people (maybe 10-15, tops).

Yours truly,

Elijah Bates

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:19 PM  

Maybe Master Bates has a position for you with Guys Gone Wild instead Dan.

By Anonymous August, at 8:37 PM  

it's your bitchin book and movie reviews that got you noticed, planetdan.

By Blogger whaat?, at 12:04 PM  

Thanks Elijah! When you didn't respond to my reply I figured you were either a phony or offended. Since neither seems to be the case, I'm flattered.

By Blogger dan, at 12:21 PM  

Maybe you should consider it. Granted, the GGW series is a lot of drunk chicks with tits. But, you could be the one to write something that engages their other head for a change.

By Blogger otimak, at 4:42 PM  

The 'photos' section of your site suggests you do know something about drunk chicks - dudes, too!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:13 AM  

Hmmm, that's a good point actually.

By Blogger dan, at 11:36 AM  

< Back to Blog

planetdan home
planetdan blog
dan's pics

Real Life v. Politics
Animated Friday (Drinking Problems Edition)!
Get Smart
The Brave One
Animated Friday (Dance Dance Revolution Edition)!
Loose Screws
The Return of Animated Friday!

jason mulgrew
beware of the blog
nyc babylon
sista c
b stacy b
trek geek scott
second toughest
and far away
chez lynne
the big lug
little voice

the superficial
boing boing
golden fiddle
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder



some ads