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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 :::

Googling Jazz Hands

I googled Jazz Hands. I don't know what I was expecting, but I eventually came across this picture:

You may want to click for larger.

I shouldn't laugh. There are probably worse pictures of me floating around god knows where.

::: posted by dan at 10:15 PM :: [ link ] :: (35) comments Social Bookmark Button

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35 previous comments:

I just googled "Jazz Hands" fpr my own curiosity's sake and got this.....

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:47 PM  

HA- Not only does this girl look completely doofy, but, not to be gross, it looks like her feminine product is just hanging out... EW. Poor thing.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:52 PM  

This is a perfect example of why I have your site bookmarked.

By Anonymous C Glass, at 10:55 PM  

I had those exact same bug eye glasses in 8th grade. Man, I am so ahead of my time

By Blogger Colleen, at 11:13 PM  

Common give the girl a break, that photo is obviously from 1984 we all dressed like dorks then. In 20 years your kids will be looking at photos of you in 2005 thinking you dressed stupid

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:14 AM  

It's not a feminine product, it's part of the tights. I used to take dance in grade school and the tights always had this white crotch center because you weren't supposed to wear panties with tights and a leotard...
And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

By Anonymous Doll, at 8:17 AM  

I love you Rita. (That is the name I have given the girl in the above picture.) Her mom put her in dance classes at a young age to help her socialize with other, more popular girls her age. However, everyone was surprised when she excelled past all the other students due to her uncanny ability to spin, flap ball chain, and jazz hand all at the same. Of course her dreams were fully realized by her efeminant "straight" dance instructor named Daryl who gave her solos in the annual recital where she danced to slow Duran Duran songs. Oh Rita...

By Blogger brent, at 8:44 AM  

Bless her heart...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:03 AM  

Go Brent! Go find her! Don't spend another minute without her!

By Blogger stapler, at 10:22 AM  

I'm having a Welcome to the Dollhouse moment. Colleen! Me too with the glasses. I think Rita is probably closer to our age now.

By Blogger Christine, at 10:34 AM  

Where is Mary Katherine Gallagher when you need her...."SupaStar!"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:49 PM  

I also remember panty hose came in "Nude" color which in the 80's, was actually a hideous orange. And pardon me for noticing, but the rest of her has a normal skin tone, but the HANDS...the hands match her tights!?!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:06 PM  

Dustin Diamond in drag.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:31 PM

Look very closely at this shot of Tyra Banks - perhaps it is not her breasts people should be focusing on?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:07 AM

Tyra Banks - real breasts and real ???

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:08 AM  

Poor girl. It's bad enough that she has photographic proof of such a time in her life, but to then have it posted online, for all to see..
This is why I burned most of my pictures from age 12 to 16.
And also why I never wore hose.

By Blogger Karla, at 9:56 AM  

These are my favorite jazz hands -

By Blogger stsundown, at 11:03 AM  

The glasses explain the pantyhose slip-up and the make-up...but what can explain away the outfit?

In any event, she's an 80's icon in the making, that much is certain. And I am convinced that her name is Rita. Absolutely.

By Blogger Elle Marie, at 7:01 PM  

Rita, just like impending hurricane. Although it already looks like she's been hit by one.

By Blogger dan, at 7:05 PM  

Jesus' Jazz Hands are great. Chicken Jazz Hands are terrifying. Poor Rita.

But, everyone has ignored what, to me, is the obvious question: Why were you googling "jazz hands" in the first place???

By Blogger Michelle, at 7:12 PM  

jazz hands?? what the hell is that anyway? Poor Rita..Dan make a t-shirt of Rita...and send it to Brent.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:47 PM  

The thing is, I would have mercilessly cruel to Rita in 8th grade, because I was doing REAL theatre and she was just doing the Walter Schock Dance Class recitals.

Rita, I'm not tryin' to be mean or anything but anyone with even a passing acquaintance with Bob Fosse KNOWS that those are SO not jazz hands.

Quick, find me Ben Vereen.

By Blogger PeaceBang, at 8:44 PM  

I'm tending to bet, that Rita grew up to be drop dead GOR-GE-OUS. Went back to her 20 year reunion and just said "HEH! IN YOUR FACE!" and finished with a spin and jazz hands. (sans bug-eyed glasses)

By Blogger Colleen, at 9:35 PM  

I feel like Rita may have ended up a contestant on The Swan. You know when those women go on The Swan and their children are invited to “the reveal”? Don’t you feel awful for the children that looked just like Mommy before all the surgery? “I used to look just like my mommy. But she was so ugly, that she had her face smashed and put back together”

By Anonymous Kristi, at 11:41 AM  

I don't think her name is Rita. It's more like Chrissy.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:50 AM  

No way, she is obviosly part Latina.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:46 PM  

I'm sorry for her. And her hairy hands.

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 4:38 PM  

and now we know where the awkward dancing lady in red got her start....

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:52 PM  

OMG, look at her minipad. It must be one with wings.

By Blogger Suz, at 9:39 PM  

this has for sure made my day....and i thank you for that : D

By Anonymous Stereopijamas, at 6:43 PM  

At least she has pantyhose on !

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:36 PM  


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:16 AM  

I actually know this person tangentially. She grew up to be quite attractive.

By Blogger Erin Bradley, at 12:04 PM  

well i googled 'jazz hands' right now (not sure why...), and this page was the first that came up.

By Blogger David, at 2:10 AM  

Thank you for the GREAT LAUGH !!!
I wondered after hearing a commercial.. " What the HELL are Jazz Hands" Your picture speaks VOLUMES.. question answered!
HILLARIOUS> Im guessing we all have quality photos like this one out there somewhere! Its priceless
Then, the bonus was reading about the Maxi pad pokin out! I nearly pee'd myself.. Just Damn life is fun! LOL Thanks

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:51 AM  

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