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Saturday, July 09, 2005 :::

Amazing Celebrity Sightings!

There were TWO celebrity sightings at Calhoun Square this afternoon:

Celebrity Sighting #1: Lindsay Lohan
Walking through the atrium of Calhoun Square, I heard the repetitive "ohmigod-ohmigod-ohmigod" shriek of an effeminate gay man, also known as the "Lindsay Lohan alarm", so my radar immediately went up. I found the source of the telltale shrieking and then followed his gaze to see that, in fact, Lindsay Lohan was shopping for glasses in a nearby store. So I snapped a bad picture with my camera phone and then bravely entered the shop, with impressive nonchalance, and stood next to her for the next ten minutes while I pretended to shop for eyeglass frames. Forget the fact that I don't wear or need glasses and that I totally took advantage of the poor saleswoman by pretending I was interested in the $650 frames she was hawking... I got to stand next to Lindsay Lohan for ten whole minutes. It was a lot less exciting than I was imagining it would be. She never acknowledged my presence and then she took off to eat sushi, but at least I can check her off my list. Now if only I could bump into Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep while they are still in Minneapolis. What's funny is that last night I was really bored, so I created a mental fantasy which involved me taking Meryl on a site-seeing tour of Minneapolis where we ate Juicy Lucy's and she offered to buy my house for a million dollars because it was just "too damned cute". It wasn't one of my most satisfying celebrity friendship fantasies, but it managed to pass the time.

Celebrity Sighting #2: Me
I know I'm no Lindsay Lohan, but prior to stalking her in the eyeglass store, I got recognized in real life by a planetdan reader for the first time ever. It was frequent commentor Jake, a.k.a my new best friend. It caught me by surprise and my awkward lack of social graces eventually took over, but I have to say it was quite enjoyable. I could stand to get recognized more often. Lindsday Lohan, watch your back. Anyway, now that my big head has deflated a little bit, I can say thanks, Jake, for saying hello. You seemed like a really nice fella. And you confirmed the fact that visitors to planetdan are better than your average joe. I always figured as much.

Here's that Lindsay pic:

I know I know, it's just looks like a mess of bleach-blonde-covered skin and bones, but trust me, it's her.

::: posted by dan at 4:26 PM :: [ link ] :: (20) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

20 previous comments:

LIAR! That picture is horrible and your story only proves you are a very creative writer...

By Blogger brent, at 7:09 PM  

"Juicy Lucy" was the name we gave our corpse in gross anatomy-they had filled her a little too full of the preservative fluids.

She was 93 years old, but her name wasn't really Lucy.

By Blogger Erik, at 8:31 PM  

Well I'm thru eating Juicy Lucy's now, since I'd rather not picture a bloated corpse next time I bite into a cheese filled burger patty.

By Blogger dan, at 8:39 PM  

LOOL! Don't really care too much about Lohan but it's awesome how you're becoming a celebrity :PP

By Blogger Roba, at 9:55 AM  

Oh. So you're seeing other guys named Jake now.


By Blogger Jake, at 10:03 AM  

Wow, I wish I was a local celebrity. In my city, the fake tanned tv weathermen and radio hosts seem to have a monopoly on the position.

Also, was Lindsay Lohan all emaciated and crack addicted as people say. Didnt you just want to run out and buy her a muffin. Or a cheeseburger.

By Blogger emalea, at 12:50 PM  

shit, lindsay's the one who needs a Juicy anyway, i'm surprised someone vocally freaked out on her. i always thought nordic restraint was one of the pros of making films here. no razzi, no bother.

By Anonymous diana, at 7:18 PM  

You guys are just two of many jakes.

As for Nordic Restraint, he was respectfil enough to shriek his omigods from behind a store window and out of earshot of Lindsay. Either that or she was just really good at pretending not to notice him.

By Blogger dan, at 7:34 PM  

Dan: Is that you in shorts and boots on the right side of the picture?

I hate to tell you this, but I'd recognize you too if I saw you on the street. And I'd come running at you look an old friend.

Now I'm frightened.

By Anonymous L Man, at 7:50 PM  

Glad I could be recognized as the nice guy I am. In the interests of complete disclosure, I'll admit that awkwardness was felt on both sides. The exchange went (I'm pretty sure) like this:
JakeE: Dan?
Dan (turning): Uh, yeah?
JakeE (geeked out): Are you ... he?
Dan: Uh ...
JakeE (way lamely): Are you ... him? Um, from the website?
Dan: Uh, yeah, maybe ...
JakeE: PlanetDan, right? I love the site, just wanted to say.
Dan: Oh. Yeah. (Pause.) Who are you?
JakeE: I'm Jake.
Dan: Oh. (They shake hands.)
JakeE (still way geeked out): Yeah, I read it every day, I recognized you from ... [trying to think of so many things, but only able to come up with the most recent posting] ... uh, the Trailer Crashers thing.
Dan (slightly dazed in an out-of-context sort of way): Oh. Yeah. (smiles.)
JakeE (feeling WAY awkward and thinking he should just move on): Just wanted to say thanks and I love the website.
Dan: Oh, thanks. I'm just a little ... I've never been recognized in public before. From that.
JakeE: Really!? Wow! You're famous! That's really cool!
(awkward pauses and smiles from both)
JakeE: Well, have a good day. Bye.
Dan: Yeah, see ya.

I'll also disclose that I was wearing a funny straw hat (which I'm surprised wasn't mentioned), and that I can't take credit for being the 'frequent commentator' Jake--who by his photo looks way more hunky than me and I don't mean to horn in on whatever it is you two have going.

By Anonymous JakeE, at 12:19 PM  

I wore my Dan T to the store one day and someone recognized you. I told you you were famous!

By Blogger Colleen, at 12:44 PM  

Don't worry Jake, I was already aware that there were two jakes, just like in that awful Jack Nicholson movie, and I was pretty sure you weren't the one from Chicago.

As for the straw hat, seeing as how I was wearing a ratty Decemberists T-shirt for the hundreth day in a row, I couldn't be too judgemental. Although it would be interesting to hear why you were wearing a straw hat in the first place.

And as for your recalling of the conversation, you forgot the part where I did a weird hand signal and yelled "Wheeee-hew!" I can't remember the context but I certainly remember doing it.

The good news is that we have gotten all that awkward stuff out of the way for the next time we meet. As long as you aren't still wearing that straw hat. Kidding.

By Blogger dan, at 2:12 PM  

Dan must not have thought the straw hat was wierd because he didin't mention it...he did mention the wheeee hooooo - hand signal,which I thought was funny.I can't judge the exchange either though.I can't lift my eyes off the floor and always manage to say something odd when meeting someone for the first time.Good thing I have an obscure blog that no one reads...

By Blogger Stacy, at 3:31 PM  

I am like, so jealous. I love Lindsay. But I like busty Lindsay. I am seriously listening to 'Rumors' right now.

By Anonymous duane, at 12:07 AM  

I'm seriously watching the video in the corner of my screen as I type this. Who doesn't love Lindsey Lohan in a sexy club with verical lens flares? No one, that is who.

By Blogger brent, at 9:48 AM  

That was supposd to be "vertical" lens flares.

Oh yeah, and Dan doesn't think straw hats are weird, he owns two or three and wears them when he mows the lawn. Everyone knows he burns really easily. Which is also the reason he gives for swimming with his t-shirt on. Yes folks, Dan is one of those guys.

By Blogger brent, at 9:50 AM  

Brent...since when are you the type of person to reference Dan's blog readers as "folks"

Don't worry Dan,I too swim with a t-shirt is o.k. especially since you have that man boob issue...oops...was that a secret???Sorry

By Blogger Stacy, at 10:35 PM  

Since I've turned 30, I like to use the terms: "folks," "pizzazz," "hullabaloo," "newfangled," and "snazzy" speckled throughout my conversations. It's just fun to see how I can work the term "snazzy" into a work meeting.

By Blogger brent, at 11:07 PM  

I try not to swim in a t-shirt anymore, but honestly, I burn like an albino.

Hullabaloo is a fantastic word.

By Blogger dan, at 11:20 PM  

On oprah yesterday someone said "what the fire?" Mark my words I am going to use it on someone today.I will have to do it in a southern drawl though.It is the only way it works.

By Blogger Stacy, at 8:03 AM  

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