Search planetdan:


Wednesday, March 16, 2005 :::

Bible Beaten

The Rapture Index is the most evil, inherently offensive example of misguided Christian arrogance that I've ever seen. It's basically an ever-changing scale that judges how close we are to The Rapture (and therefore the biblical apocalypse) based on how closely current world events are echoing the prophecies foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelations. Apparently it's supposed to make dedicated Christians feel comfortable in knowing that Jesus is on his way back to town.

The problem is that the Book of Revelations has been contested since shortly after it was written back in the first century, AD. Nobody is even really sure who wrote it, although most scholars believe it was John the Apostle. It was amended to the Bible at a later date, and its legitimacy has been challenged ever since. If any faithful believers had actually ever read or researched the book (most Christians prefer to have it interpreted for them by people with questionable motives) then they would discover that it is mostly regarding the fall of the Roman Empire (Babylon) and not the fall of the entire sinful human race. They would also discover that the book of Revelations never even mentions The Rapture. The only actual biblical reference to the concept of The Rapture is in Thessalonians, but it's been incorporated into the concept of the apocalypse by people who obviously want to scare you into believing (because who wants to be left alone on earth with all the rapists and murderers when all is said and done?). Finally, they would realize that the author of the Book of Revelations clearly believed that the second coming was going to happen within his lifetime. Wouldn't the fact that it didn't ever happen kind of cast a shadow on the legitimacy of his other predictions?

So anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are many fundamentalists of influence (um, like the President, for example) who believe that the Rapture is coming, based on half-assed interpretations of a book from the Bible that has been contested since it was written by god knows who. Or maybe these people don't even actually believe the Rapture is coming. Maybe they just want YOU to believe it is coming so that they can keep you in a controlled state of fear and ignorance. I'm getting preachy now, but just read some of the hellfire indicators in the Rapture Index and see how people are using the fear of the apocalypse to push their political agenda. Specifically, notice how the sinful acceptance of homosexuality is considered a sign that the Rapture is nearing (that's a strange biblical "sin" to focus on, out of all the sins cataloged in the Bible). What a coincidence that gay marriage is the hottest moral debate in the country right now. Note that nowhere in the Book of Revelations is homosexuality ever mentioned.

Even more sickening, this Rapture Index is created and maintained by the same people who write the incredibly popular and profitable Left Behind series of post-apocalypse novels – a series of books whose success depends on people who believe that the Rapture is indeed coming. It's profiteering through scaremongering. And it's way more evil than two chicks gettin' hitched, let me tell you what.

Of course, the Book of Revelations also clearly states that only 144,000 people of faith will be saved during the apocalypse, so most of those fundamentalists are going to hell anyway. And after all that effort they put into proselytizing! Man, would I be pissed.

::: posted by dan at 12:29 PM :: [ link ] :: (18) comments Social Bookmark Button

Comments are Closed On this Post

18 previous comments:

Oh my fucking god. I thought I'd wrapped my head around the fundamentalist philosophy, but...
How the hell does the price of oil indicate end times?!?!

By Blogger Stifledfits, at 4:19 PM  

So, have you done enough reading to know that there's an active contingent of individuals in the U.S. who believe that fully supporting Israel in all ways is necessary because having the chosen people fulfill their destiny in Israel is important for the Rapture? Dharma has a good write up about one such person on his blog, a local politician, though you can also read about her at City Pages. Did you know that many fundamentalists believe that after Israel "went away" the first time, the prophesies of Revelations were put on hold for about 2000 years until it was refounded. Others believe in survivalism because they believe that not everyone gets lifted up in The Rapture - really special people get left here to prove how much they've prepared for God's judgement - if they can survive long enough, that's proof they believe strongly enough. Yet others believe that there is a "Refreshment of the Saints", a period between the Antichrist being defeated and The Rapture.

It's all rather worrisome when, in the case of the first individual for instance, it can influence public policy or your penchant to horde guns.

You should also be aware that at least one source notes that the Antichrist will be from the tribe of Dan (cue the spooky music).

By Blogger Scooter, at 7:49 PM  

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Scooter, at 7:49 PM  

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Scooter, at 7:49 PM  

My apologies for those removed comments - they were exactly the same as the one that actually posted - Blogger was just timing out on me consistently when I was hitting comment and it wasn't showing up on the page right away. In my defense, I give you a link that explains my problem.

By Blogger Scooter, at 7:52 PM  

My apologies for those removed comments - they were exactly the same as the one that actually posted - Blogger was just timing out on me consistently when I was hitting comment and it wasn't showing up on the page right away. In my defense, I give you a link that explains my problem.

By Blogger Scooter, at 7:52 PM  

The rapture has already happened (years ago actually, back in the late 1800s). We're what's left behind. So put down the bible and go do some pilfering and village burning.

I really like the key to the index, with the current rating at 151, "Fasten your seat belts".

By Blogger talwrite, at 8:16 PM  

Why doesn't any of this surprise me?

Further more, why doesn't any of this appall me?

Because I've been hearing the self-same, irksome verbal diarrhea for years.

Without wishing to offend too many of you, I have no time for religion.

Religion is a social construct that was instrumental in the formation of early human society.

Since fulfilling its usefulness, religion has attempted to re-invent itself and remain needed, and in doing so has become something of a retrovirus to humanity.

Let's hope these people are banished to whatever hell it is they believe in...

By Blogger Wayne Smallman, at 8:24 AM  

Amen from a Lutheran seminarian. Lutherans are opposed to this rapture crap. The fundamentalists need to drink beer and get laid.

PS I don't agree with the right wing Rutherford fgroup but this interview with Barbara Rossing(author of Rapture Exposed) is enlightening.


By Anonymous Rick, at 10:54 AM  

People scare me. Not you, the other people.

By Blogger Elle, at 11:26 AM  

Well I LOOOVE the rapture and can't wait for it to come. The very concept of it is so camp - read "Alec Baldwin doesn't love me" by Michael Thomas Ford for his childhood tale of waiting for the rapture and packing all his toys in anticipation, only to realise it wasn't happening.

Also, if you ever get a chance to get the awful 1970s Christian film series which starts with A Thief in the Night, then do so - they really are hilarious, poorly acted nonsense. There's a wonderful story I read about on the net, about a nutty Christian teacher who used to show this film to her students. One day they all played a joke on her and hid while she was out of the class. When she returned, only the class pot-head remained, who told her "It's the rapture man, it's the rapture!" She apparently freaked out, running down the corridors, screaming to the other teachers "Have your students been taken by the rapture too." Marvellous. Wish I could find the url for that again

By Blogger Lubin, at 3:07 PM  

Aha, I found that link:

Gone (maybe it got taken up in the rapture) but not forgotten!

By Blogger Lubin, at 3:13 PM  

Wow! These people are.....nuts! I just don't get it. I mean seriously how do you get:

"Because of its vital oil reserves, the Middle East holds the world's attention. Oil could be the reason why the Bible says China will send a 200 million man army into the Middle East."


"And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand: and I heard the number of them (Rev 9:16)"

Talk about taking things out of context or interpreting them for your own benefit.

Gads. The other people scare me too.

By Blogger Colleen, at 6:16 PM  

Hmm... "A study by City University of New York noted a jump in the number of adult Pagans, from 8,000 in 1990 to 274,000 in 2001"

That's cause stupid lame-o movies like "The Craft" made it "cool" to be a pagan.

So glad I got my money back on that one...

By Blogger Monkey, at 2:12 AM  

"Mark of the Beast" category is dropping in importance due to this:
Mark of the Beast:
Wal-mart is falling behind in its plan to bar code all products
with radio tags.

Strange. I never realised that Walmart was so instrumental to the coming apocalypse.

By Blogger Okapi, at 6:52 AM  

I really hoped it was a joke, it just seems too ridiculous, especially if you go to the photos section, but then I read some of the FAQs. This guy is serious, and he's breeding. I think it's time for me to move to a country not currently being run by religious fanatics. Too bad Canada's not taking any more Americans right now.

By Anonymous Kali, at 12:30 PM  

My Inaugural Address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!


eschatology,End Times,second coming,rapture,secret rapture,Second Resurrection,Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead,
End of days,Day of the Lord,Endtime,Judgment Day

By Blogger Alvin Miller, at 6:34 AM  

For some rare insights into the mentality of the rapture-ranters, go Googling and type in "Thomas Ice (Bloopers)" (the "researcher" Falwell, LaHaye etc. depend on!), "Pretrib Rapture Diehards" (recently uncovered data on how the crapture belief really began!), "Pretrib Hypocrisy," and "Appendix F: Thou Shalt Not Steal" (examples of plagiarism in writings by Falwell, Ryrie, LaHaye, Van Impe etc.!). Maybe the Religious Right should be renamed the Religious Rewrite! B.R.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:25 AM  

< Back to Blog

planetdan home
planetdan blog
dan's pics

New Music
Damn you, slip-on shoes!
Nemo on ice.
Back from the dead.
A Dirty Shame
Countdown to 30
Dang, chimps have a dark side.

jason mulgrew
beware of the blog
nyc babylon
sista c
b stacy b
trek geek scott
second toughest
and far away
chez lynne
the big lug
little voice

the superficial
boing boing
golden fiddle
girls are pretty
more cow bell
world of wonder



some ads