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Wednesday, October 13, 2004 :::


I want to throw up. I have a brand new most embarassing moment ever.

A coworker called me and asked if I would create her a title graphic for a website that said "Continuous Improvement." I said sure, created the image, and attached it to an email. Then in the subject line, I attempted to type "cont improvement" so that she could easily identify the email, but my finger slipped or I was just being sloppy or something and I accidently made the worst typo ever. I typed "cunt improvement." I noticed it just as I was clicking Send. That's when my stomach imploded and my whole body got all sweaty. Luckily, I know her pretty well and she's a cool person, so I called her and told her that I made a very bad typo and that she needed to immediately delete it. She laughed when she saw it, and I'm fairly sure that she doesn't think it was some type of Freudian slip or something, but still. Cunt improvement. Why out of all the possible misspellings did I have to randomly type that word? And why did it have to be followed by the word "improvement"? Oh god, I'm going to throw up.

Of course, it wasn't until afterwards that another coworker informed me that I could've just recalled the email. I didn't even know that was a possibility on their email system.

I'm only telling anyone this because I need positive support. It's not that bad, is it? Please tell me it's not that bad. Man, I am not having a good week.

::: posted by dan at 2:31 PM :: [ link ] :: (28) comments Social Bookmark Button

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28 previous comments:

That's hilarious.
I'm going to say to you what my brother always said to me when we were kids... "Smooth Move, Ex-Lax".

No really, nice save. I'm sure she's forgotten it by now. Or she's forwarded it to the entire company. EIther way I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's really not that bad. That word is going through a Rennaisance right now isn't it. You were just being vogue.

By Blogger lynne, at 3:12 PM  

Well, back in my "legal secretary" days I used to type tons of briefs for the Court of Appeals (on fairly significant subjects) and in one very lengthy brief I noticed - post filing, mind you - that I used the typo "doe snot"... snot once but three times! The reason? I meant "does not". Autocorrect soon became my very bestest friend in the world. Not quite as bad but whenever I imagined the judge's face reading it, I was horrified. It should also be noted that I've typed Tit's a coupla times too. Duh.

By Blogger annie, at 3:17 PM  

Of all the bad words out there, the c-word is one of the very few I really can't stand. But since it was an honest mistake, and an extremely funny mistake at that, you should have no worries. Write this one off- especially since she's so cool about it.

By Blogger hot babe, at 3:26 PM  


Hey I don't mean to worry you or anything, but you are sooo screwed. A business email. Man, you can't pass that off as a mere mistake. I had a friend get fired for the very same "type" of offence, and get prosecuted with the big sexual harassment charge. My friend was "friends" with the girl to. Then, when he wrote the word "pussy" instead of "fussy" in an email to her all H broke out. At first she laughed and said "it's OK, then a few days later She freaked and pressed charges! She said she was in shock and could only laugh because she felt uncomfortable.

Sorry Dan
Good Luck. You will need it

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:28 PM  

Maybe I'll change my screen name to c*#t in your honor...
No. Not really.

By Blogger lynne, at 3:29 PM  


How does one improve a c*nt?

I think you're fine...I wouldn't worry about it. As a sidenote, many email systems allow users to see recalled messages anyway, so don't beat yourself up over that either.

By Blogger Will, at 3:43 PM  

Okay, so as atonement for the last time I ill-advisedly tried to post a comment on this blog:

I'm an attorney, and every so often I find myself having to work in a brief about how a particular interpretation of the law would be "against public policy." You can see where his is going. I'm glad there are eagle eyes in my office who have kept me from signing my name to any documents that talk about "pubic policy."

By Blogger Dennis!, at 4:18 PM  

I've always thought about posting before, but I can't hold back after this one. Wow, Dan, wow! It's an honest mistake and believe me, everything can be justified. I like to think you were looking out for the best interests of the women of the world by reminding them to constantly improve themselves. I mean, for health reasons and well, physical satisfaction, we could all stand to improve!

By Blogger moodylicious, at 4:44 PM  

Years ago I worked at a wine brokerage. One Monday afternoon the receptionist was working on a letter explaining something to our distributors (700 of them). The letter was spell-checked and checked again. The letters were printed, signed and sent out. Then one day (and no, not at band camp) someone called to point out that spell-check had replaced "warehouse" with "whorehouse." Priceless. Dan, you are human. Think nothing of this slip-up. You are still a rock star.

By Blogger SeattleCityGirl, at 5:01 PM  

This is my first comment post on planetdan, too, but I want to emphasize that Will's comment was right. I was once cc'd on something I wasn't supposed to be (a client b*tching about me). When they tried to recall it, I still got the email, plus I got a notice that the client had attempted to recall it. Later the client sent a sheepish "You may have gotten something we didn't want you to see" email. May be slightly different when the two emails are internal, but not 100% reliable by any means. You did the best possible thing by just being honest with her about the mistake and alerting her immediately. Much better than her calling you!

By Blogger Jen, at 5:02 PM  

All I can say is DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! I wouldn't really worry about it...but then, I'm the one who was recently fired...Still - honest mistake. Very dirty mistake, but honest nonetheless.

By Blogger Kiddo78, at 5:40 PM  

Reminds me of that "Beloved Cunt" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where an unforunate typo of "aunt" completely ruins an otherwise thoughtful, hastily published obituary.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:46 PM  

My best friend checked and double-checked a huge educational document for a fundraising meeting with a the board of a major national corporation, like Heinz Ketchup or something. Finally convinced it was without error, she gave it to her secretary to make twenty copies. Later, she picked the copies up and flipped through. Looked good. Off she went to discuss their donation to her foundation. Too bad someone at the copy machine before the secretary had been doing research on adult-circumcision reversal. Last page of every copy.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:00 AM  

Oh that is awesome. I feel way better now.

By Blogger dan, at 9:32 AM  

Really not a big deal at all. I'm sure she chuckled and forgot all about it. Don't worry about it, she can't possibly think you meant that. You're awfully hard on yourself

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:47 AM  

Really not a big deal at all. I'm sure she chuckled and forgot all about it. Don't worry about it, she can't possibly think you meant that. You're awfully hard on yourself

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 AM  

hehe :)
damn! that sucks!
be more careful with the typos :P

By Blogger Roba, at 9:54 AM  

I have been reading your Blog for the last few months, and loving it! I could not help but post for this one. I would not feel bad about the e-mail. I mean the word c*nt can be used as a term of an endearment according to Colorado University President Elizabeth Hoffman.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:13 AM  

I had to type up specs on the construction of a school that would be sent to all interested parties, Superintendent, school board, commissioners, etc. Every thing right down to the school "clocks" had to be detailed. Including the position of the "clocks", the size of the "clocks" and the color of the "clocks" you can't guess where this is going?Apparantly I didn't push the "l" key hard enough...ever. Spell check of course didn't catch the bad word, neither did any of the engineers in the office.

By Blogger Colleen, at 12:56 PM  

It is funny and bad,but not the worst.

I was working and about to walk out the door to do payroll.A little kid called me from the bathroom,it is located in the entry of the childcenter where I was walking out, parents also come in this way to pick up their kid's after their work out.He was newly potty trained and needed help snapping and pulling up his pants.He also had brought in his little action figure into the batroom with him.In my over the top,loud,sugary sweet little kid tone I said...Oh God here it goes...I said "is that your Woody...I like him."(toy story was big at that time)I did not stop there because I am a glutten for humiliation I guess."can I hold your Woody"I wanted him to pull up his own pants and he couldin't holding his Woody toy,Finally one of the regular mom's popped her head in,(the door was open.)She said laughing."what are you doing in here it sounds really bad.It all made sense to me real quick at that point.That is by far the worse most embarassing moment of my life.If I didin't get talked to for sounding like a pedifile you won't get talked to for sounding like a pervert.

By Blogger Stacy, at 2:27 PM  

My mom was working a few weeks ago and a little old lady said thank you to her.She was going to say your welcome or you bet,and instead she yelled into the filled lobby "YOUR WET!"It is not overly bad but still kind of funny.I think it is funnier because the lady was leaving and everything happened to fast for my mom to correct herself so the lady must have thought my mom really thought she was wet,and she could not explain it to all of the customers waiting for tables so it was left unexplained which would have been the worst part I think....YOUR WET....Then silent wondering.

By Blogger Stacy, at 2:34 PM  

That woody story is way worse than mine! Phew.

By Blogger dan, at 4:50 PM  

I can totally hear your tone of voice, too. I can just hear you. That's hilarious, Stacy.

By Blogger hot babe, at 4:51 PM  

Hi. I've also been reading this blog for the past couple months (ever since I got the Senior Photos link sent to me). Reading the Woody story forced me to post this story of my own. So, here goes: I go to church and occasionally help out in the Sunday school room (I know, don't get freaked because I'm one of those "Jesus people"). Anyway, the kids happened to be studying the story of Moses and the burning bush (can you see where this is headed?). The Sunday school teacher had made a mock up of a burning bush to use as a prop. So, she kept telling the kids to (this is a direct quote) "Look at my bush. Isn't it pretty?" Then proceeded to tell these kids that they could all have a turn "touching her bush." I figured I couldn't bust out laughing or act like anything was out of the ordinary because of the fact that we're at church and all, but COME ON LADY!! It was awful! To make matters worse, this woman with the burning bush is a redhead.

By Blogger MommyT, at 1:41 PM  

priceless. Dan I wish you lived in NY. I think you are the funniest person I "know"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:11 PM  

Just stumbled across your blog and enjoyed your top posts so much I made it all the way down to #3. Hilarious.

I've also made typos on e-mails but yours takes the cake. I can't imagine doing the damage control on that one. Kudos.

By Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva, at 2:25 PM  

That's funny. I've been lurking, and now I have a related story...since everyone is so into sharing and all.

I knew a girl in college who had an unfortunate typo on the top of her resume. She didn't discover it until she sent it out to about 20 potential employers. "Objective: To secure a position in pubic relations". Oddly enough, she didn't get any interviews.

I also got a company email from IT apologizing for any incontinence that the network outage may have caused anyone. Upon reading it, I knew why I couldn't stop making trips to the bathroom all afternoon. Stupid network outage!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:21 PM  

Dear Boring B'stard,
I have just waited a good moment of my life reading your pathetic little story. About a FUCKING typo. From reading this I have gained nothing other than the notion to inform you to improve your life you cunt (and that was not a Freudian slip).
Yours Sincerely
Anglebert Humpadink Esquire

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:11 AM  

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