Sexy Halloween Time 2011


I just can’t resist perusing the new crop of “sexy” Halloween costumes that comes out every year. I used to be disgusted yet fascinated. Now I’m just giddy with anticipation come October. Here’s some of my favorites for 2011:

Sexy Childhood Male Icons
Sexy Willy Wonka, Sexy Cat in the Hat, and Sexy Marvin the Martian, all male childhood icons, and all here to confuse you about what’s happening down there in your downstairs.

You can buy this at yandy.com, if you are so inclined.

Sexy Unicorn
Seems a bit juvenile to dress up as a mythical animal worshipped by twelve year old girls, but I guess the phallic headpiece makes up for that.

You can buy this at yandy.com, if you are so inclined.

Sexy Twix Bar
Are we really doing this now? Sexy food items? What’s next, sexy loaf of bread? Sexy mustard bottle?

Sexy Mustard Bottle
Okay, game on.

Sexy Tin Man
Tin man was the gayest dood in Wizard of OZ. At least she’ll appeal to the latents. If she only had a brain.

Sexy Belle from Beauty and the Beast
This one was almost a normal costume until they had to go and jack up the front, as if someone just yanked the cord on a bad set of curtains.

Sexy Seal/Dolphin
WIthout the head it’s hard to tell what animal this is, and neither would be the worst animal to fetishize, I suppose. But wearing this, you’re begging for seal noises and flapping arm-fin jokes.

You can buy this at yandy.com, if you are so inclined.

Sexy Skunk
Wait, wut? I guess at least you could flatulate all night long and just claim that you were really owning the role.

Sexy Beaver on Wood
Subtle.

Sexy Chinese Takeout Container
Ain’t nothing sexier than a greasy fast food container. I know whenever I find a Chinese Food Menu hanging on my doorknob…

Sexy True Blood Waitress
Timely trends are always a bad idea. In five years this is going to look like nothing more than a white T-shirt and a blue mini. Oh wait, it is nothing more than a white T-shirt and blue mini.

You can buy this at yandy.com, if you are so inclined.

Sexy Clockwork Orange
Nothing sexier than a bit of the ol’ ultraviolence.

Sexy Bomb
Well that’s a flattering silhouette. Also, maybe a tad too counterproductively chastity-beltish.

Sexy CrazyTime
I have respect for this one cuz it don’t pull punches. These bitches be crazy.

You can buy this at yandy.com, if you are so inclined.

That’s it! Can’t wait for 2012!

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  1. #1 by Daniel on October 19, 2011 - 11:07 am

    Here’s the other side of the sexy Halloween motif: http://thehairpin.com/2011/10/have-a-sexy-little-halloween

  2. #2 by Mitch on November 14, 2011 - 7:47 pm

    Dan, did you dress up this year? Inquiring minds want to know.

  3. #3 by T on April 2, 2012 - 8:57 am

    Ummm…so, I was Googling travel size French’s Mustard containers (who doesn’t want a travel sized one?!) and ended up having your Sexy Halloween time piece linked to my search (really, mustard’s gone sexy outside of Montreal smoked meat?!). In turn it led to me spending far too much time laughing and reading a strangers blog. Kudo’s though – on your nesting doll painting abilities and hilarity. And no, because I’m sure you are curious, I haven’t found my travel size French’s Mustard bottle yet – I’m hopeful though, don’t worry.

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