Smooshy Smoosh


My car and I got all smooshy smooshed last night. I was just minding my own bidness when an SUV jumped the median to my left and slammed into my driver’s-side door, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision. I could have easily gone through life without needing to know what an airbag feels like as it pummels your face, but I guess I’m lucky to have had the experience, if that’s how you wanna look at it.

After the guy hit me, my car was forced off into a nearby snowbank, and so it took me a while to get my berrings. A witness came up and asked if I was alright, and then for some reason I started to gather all the CDs that were now scattered about my car. Eventually, the driver of the other car came over. He was a younger man of undeterminable Eastern origin, and this is how that particular conversation went:

Him: Oh man, it’s slippery out there.

My Thoughts: I think I’m okay from what I can tell, thanks for asking.
Me Out Loud: Uh, yeah, I guess. You okay?

Him: I saw the red break lights in front of me and so I swerved to not hit them.

My Thoughts: You swerved into oncoming traffic to avoid rear-ending someone? Brilliant.
Me Out Loud: Oh.

Him: It’s not even my car.

My Thoughts: Well this used to be my car, but I guess we should be more worried about you right now.
Me Out Loud: Oh. That sucks.

* long pause *

Him: So… do you know the laws around here?

My Thoughts: Here we go…
Me Out Loud: Ye…

Him, Cutting Me Off: Because I don’t really have a license to drive.

My Thoughts: Oh Jebus.
Me Out Loud: But you got insurance right?

Him: Oh yes, I think she does.

* he looks over my car *

Him: Man, you lucky to be alive.

My Thoughts: If you don’t shut up and get out of my sight you’re going to be lucky to be alive.
Me Out Loud: I’m going to get out of the street and wait for the cops now.

In my limited experience, cops are generally not very amiable. It was ten below and I was freezing, and I asked if we could sit in a squad car while they wrote out the report. He just stared at me, without replying, grimmacing just enough for me to notice. Then a more civilized civil servant came over and said I could sit in the back of his squad car, usually reserved for handcuffed criminals, except the second I got in there on those hard plastic seats and with the glass divider pane right up against my face, I got super claustrophobic and I made him let me out again. I probably wasn’t making any new dan fans in law enforcement.

Somehow the driver’s side mirror ended up on the passenger seat floor, without smashing my face on its way over, so I was glad about that. I got a few small cuts on my hands from when the window exploded, and I can still feel where that airbag hit my face this morning, but I got no exciting bruises to show for it.


This airbag and I have a complicated love/hate relationship right now.

Now comes the worst part: dealing with the insurance agencies and trying to figure out how I’m going to get around for the next couple weeks.

Yay for Minnesota Winters!

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  1. #1 by bonnie on December 15, 2010 - 10:32 am

    Dan, I am so happy you are okay. So sorry; what an ordeal! Merry Christmas. Love, bon

  2. #2 by Jen on December 15, 2010 - 10:56 am

    Oh boy – glad you are ok! And also I think my rss feed of your blog stopped working b/c I didn’t know you were still blogging. But it sounds like you have more serious things than that to worry about.

  3. #3 by Nate on December 15, 2010 - 12:02 pm

    Hey Dan -

    The pictures are incredible.
    Glad to you are okay.

    I’d let the body shops handle the insurance for you. And if you haven’t found a good one, I’d checkout Hopkins Auto Body – http://www.facebook.com/hopkinsautobody.

    Let them (or another) handle all of the insurance back and forth, rental car, etc.

    952-935-7556, ask for Jerald Stiele.

  4. #4 by Bob on December 15, 2010 - 12:18 pm

    Frightening. Glad you’re ok, planet dan! So, what does an airbag feel like? Or do you really recall?

  5. #5 by Lisa on December 15, 2010 - 12:43 pm

    Glad you are OK! I unfortunately share the knowledge of what an airbag pummeling your face feels like. I hit a deer on my way home from freshman orientation and the airbag knocked me a little silly. Thankfully I had a friend with me that was able to shake me back to, because my car was still rolling down the middle of I-35. The airbag grazed my eyeball, so I got to spend my first 2 weeks of college wearing an eye patch while it healed!! I also have a love/hate relationship with airbags, but mostly hate.

  6. #6 by dan on December 15, 2010 - 12:49 pm

    It feels kinda like getting punched in the face with by a pickle ball, actually, which I’ve had some experience with:

    http://www.planetdan.net/blog/2005/01/hazards-of-athleticism.htm

    As for my RSS feeds, Blogger screwed me over last year and I had to transfer to wordpress, which apparently messed up all my feeds.

  7. #7 by Bonnie on December 15, 2010 - 1:24 pm

    Wow! I’m so glad you’re okay.

  8. #8 by Mary Anderson on December 15, 2010 - 1:46 pm

    Long time no talk! I remember when you had another bad accident (I was still working at Toro at the time) … do you remember what happened to that errant driver? Why can’t you find some average Joe with a license, insurance and vision to mess with? Good luck to you! And however inappropriate it may seem … Happy Holidays!

  9. #9 by John H. on December 15, 2010 - 6:07 pm

    Dan, It’s good to hear you are ok. Not a good thing to go through during the X-mas time and after just moving into your new home. I was able to decipher the foriegn langrig from the “you rucky to bre arive”
    part. I hope everything works out for you with those not so quick insurance companies.
    Have a Merry X-mas and New Year.
    California West Coast Fan
    John H.

  10. #10 by TT on December 16, 2010 - 12:59 pm

    That totally sucks. And just in time for the holidays. Hope you are doing okay and everything goes as well as it could.

  11. #11 by Cris on December 17, 2010 - 3:32 pm

    Glad to see you are okay Dan… What a PITA.

  12. #12 by Lubin Odana on December 20, 2010 - 10:15 am

    Bad luck. But glad you had an airbag. Hope you get it sorted out soon.

  13. #13 by KC on December 22, 2010 - 8:30 am

    Glad you’re OK, Dan!

  14. #14 by Galicia on January 6, 2011 - 4:18 pm

    I’m gald you’re ok aside from the bruiss and the smooshed car :)

    So what happened with the guy when the police showed up?

  15. #15 by Galicia on January 6, 2011 - 4:23 pm

    *Glad*
    ¬¬

Comments are closed.

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