Archive for August, 2010

Cuz The Prez Says

I think that maybe the Prez was a douchebag in gym class, although probably a funny douchebag:

And just in case you didn’t know, you ain’t Obama’s bitch, and you need to buy your own damn fries (MNSFW):
More fun Obama audio clips at April Winchell. Perfect for turning into ringtones.

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We’ve been planning a trip to Maui this Fall for a couple years now. I like Hawaii, but I don’t much like the Ocean. I’m a tad ascared of it. So when my friends get all excited about the prospect of snorkeling, I will send them pictures like this:

Yeah, that’s a Great White that has been half-eaten by something even larger and toothier than a Great White. I’m going to pass on the snorkeling, thanks. Plus, last time I went in the Ocean in Hawaii I got swimmer’s ear, which was entirely unpleasant, even when you throw in the subsequently prescribed Vicodin.


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C-Minus (the artist formally known as K-Mack) recently had a baby and she’s coming along just fine. I like her lots, in spite of the fact that she seems completely disinterested in her uncle Dan:

You wouldn’t think it, but babies are a tough audience. Maybe I just need to buy her more presents to gain her favor. I’m thinking this is a super cute shirt that everyone will enjoy:

Here’s a bonus creepy pic:

You might think that C-Minus’ house is dirty and dusty when you look at the beam of light coming through that window. I know I did. But she assured me, “No, that’s just bacon grease.” So no worries.


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Mind = Blown

I’ve seen a lot of swirlie optical illusions on the web in my day, but this one blows my mind. How many colors do you see in the colorful swirlies below? Pink, Orange, Green, and Blue, right? WRONG. The blue and the green are the same color.

From the red-eye puzzler.I even brought it into Photoshop just to make sure I wasn’t being bamboozled. See here for yourself. That’s messed up.

Fer real.

And as a personal companion piece, here is an old classic yawn-worthy optical illusion I video-taped at Puzzling World in Wanaka, New Zealand, which I feel is blogworthy since it’s at least on video, which means it’s totally high-tech and stuff:

There’s magic all up in this bitch!


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Happy Anniversary = Sad Memories

The Goonies is 25 years old this year. And I can still remember the first time I ever saw it. Vividly.

Fall… Break…

I was ten years old – prime Goonie-lovin’ age – when it was released in theaters. My mother planned an outing for my friend Timmy Crocker and me to see it on a Wednesday. When we picked up Timmy, he started blabbing about how he had already seen the movie that previous weekend and how awesome it was. I was deflated.

By the time we reached the theater, he had summarized the entire plot of the movie. And he ended with this warning: “Man, there are so many skeletons in that movie… man, if you don’t like skeletons, you’re going to HATE this movie!”

I didn’t mind the skeletons at all, but I was surprised that he had completely omitted the malformed-manchild-chained-up-in-the-basement part of the movie, which really freaked my 10-year-old-sh!t out.

I was only friends with Timmy-the-Buzkill-Crocker for a couple more years, when one morning before school another classmate approached me to tell me that Tim had told everyone that I had cheated at a boardgame called Squiggle, and was therefore totally lame. I recall the game of Squiggle in question very vividly as well, and truth be told, I have no idea if I cheated or not, because I totally did not understand how to play the game but was pretending like I did. Timmy Crocker was a tad smarter than Dan was, you see, and I thought it was probably better to have the reputation of being a cheater than someone who was not smart enough to understand the needlessly complicated rules of a game called Squiggle. So I just let it slide. But Timmy Crocker didn’t hang out with me much after that. :(

Goonies is still one of my all-time favorites, though. Even if it was ruined for me in advance by the the Squiggle champion of the world.

ps. There is a board game out these days called Squiggle that is completely different than the game of my youth. One has something to do with drawing doodles and the other one has something to do with lots of colored blocks with random point values and shaming children who are not smart enough to play it. So try not to confuse the two.


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Animated Friday (Dogs are Heartless Edition)!

People think that dogs are all sweet and kind and loving and man’s best friend and all that, but they are just as heartless and self-serving as humans:





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Just a Sex

I haven’t been a very good blogger as of late. I’ve been trying to sell my house and buy a new one and all that business has my guts tied up in knots and so animated GIFs just aren’t tickling my fancy right now. But I’m still making plently of embarrassing blunders of course:

I think it’s strange that my initial panic responses to these types of embarrassing scenarios is to say “Oh Jeeze” like I’m Marge Gunderson or something.

By this point my coworkers must be thinking I’m some closet perv who is unable to avoid overt Freudian slips. Stupid C and stupid X being so stupidly close together on the stupid keyboard. Sorry, Tara.



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