Archive for July, 2010
I’ve gotten a little pushy at work, so even if a coworker’s Instant Messenger status says they are “busy” or “away”, I just IM them anyway. This is probably obnoxious, but sometimes I just got no time for petty delays. My work is too important! Today my unbridled ambition and reckless haste may have backfired on me, though:
Tina must have thought I was insane. Or in some sex chatroom. Stupid T and stupid Y are so stupidly close together on the stupid keyboard. Sorry, Tina.
I went out to dinner last night, and my friends brought their grandchild along to join us. He is actually cute as a button and very well-behaved. He’s just entering the first grade and he even ate scallops and escargot without blinking an eye. When I was that age, I was crawling under the table like a common brat and nothing but pizza was ever allowed to penetrate my lips. So I was duely impressed.
But eventually, like any child would, he started to get antsy from having to sit in one place for so long, so to preoccupy him a bit his grandparents gave him a pen and a paper and told him to make a nice card for danny.
This is what I got:
Looks like I made a good impression on the lad. Not bad for a first-grader. Oh, he also told me a joke:
Q. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
A: Poker Face.
I get a ton of requests to alter the Falling Georgie screensaver to feature a variety of different people. Usually random people’s bosses, parents, local politicians, or other unloved individuals. Apparently people can achieve a certain sense of stress release by throwing around some jackass they might not otherwise have control over.
I have been known to oblige these requests on occasion if it’s a global figure that I actually recognize, with the exception of a few psychotic despots who might hunt me down in retaliation or something. I’m not going to make a screensaver featuring some Mexican drug warlord, or Kim Jung Il, for instance.
But the other day I got my first non-politician request that I ever actually considered: the CEO of BP. So I went ahead and did it, mostly just for the fun of slopping oil all over the BP logo:
I love the internet because it is a perpetual boost to my self-confidence. Everywhere I look, there are people to remind me that I am lucky to have been born with whatever brains I got, because it’s apparently more than most.
Maybe I’m retired, but mystery tooth made my day!
Rejoice! The moment has arrived!
Subway Sandwich Shops officially began tessellating their cheese today, so instead of their previous overlapping stacked cheese triangle pattern, the triangles are supposed to be arranged to never overlap and to offer more complete sammich coverage.
So I visited my local Subway today in celebration of this blessed event, armed with my secret planetdan-cam. At first I was concerned, because the female Sandwich Artist was stacking the cheese the old-fashioned way for the patrons ahead of me. My face got hot as I mentally prepared a reproachful speech for when she would inevitably flub my pepperjack. Fortunately, there was a last minute employee switcheroo, and I got a pinch hitter.
As you can see, I was overjoyed to see that my new Sandwich Artist was heeding the new cheese placement directive. But my happiness soon faded as I realized that this also resulted in getting less cheese. I am almost certain that previous six-inchers were given three pieces of cheese, not two. Am I wrong?
ps. Forgive my big fat wide face in the video. It’s due to the camera angle, and not any sort of excessive Subway consumption.